Sour Smell of Success

Why do they say don't meet your heroes? Because they will be mean and rude? Because they will be insecure and timid? Because they will be nothing like the person you imagine them to be?

There are three reasons why people at the top are aholes

1) They always were one

2) They realized to become successful they needed to become one

3) Just as the kid bullied, in turn bullies others, once they got to the top they felt it was their turn to stop taking it and start dishing it out.

To some degree, it makes sense. Because you're at the top, people want a piece of you whether it's hitting you up for money, wanting to meet you, sending you unsolicited emails, asking for a job, and the like. Where were these people when you weren't at the top??

You were a nobody and doors were closed in your face. All you got was no after no. So you worked harder and harder, driven on by the fantasy of making it so those same people would now ask you for a favor, whereby you answer forget you and slam the door in theirs.

And ok you are approached by long lost family and 3rd grade classmates, but from friends of friends or complete strangers??

It's a Catch-22. Why would anyone have asked you for favors when you weren't in a position to give them? If you're now playing in the Super Bowl you will be asked for tickets or if you're the CEO of a company people will ask you for a job. This is how the world works!

And you know what? This should be the least of your problems.

Yes, people are vapid bandwagon-hoppers, but why should they drag you down??

Reply to emails; reply to comments, and the worst thing that happens is that people say you're nice. For while your stature and status is good, what is golden is your reputation.

Because you are hit up so often, some of the things that come your way could be amazing opportunities. If your attitude is no to everything, you are only going to shoot yourself in the foot. Not every conference is amazing, not every investment opportunity is lucrative, but some will be. If you shut the world off from you, the price you will pay is that you're shut off from the world.

Significantly more valuable than any financial investment is the ability to invest in people. Every time you do a favor to someone or help them out, you are investing in them; in the relationship you share. They will be eternally grateful to you and the upside is infinite.

For what it's worth, karma is the ultimate insurance policy. If everything goes pear-shaped, you can start cashing in on some of the favors owed to you. If you weren't a nice person when it was your time in the sun, you won't have any to cash in. Go back to doors being shut in your face.

Some may even say that it's due to karma that you came crashing down.

Reality TV has brought given us the likes of Simon Cowell and Gordon Ramsay. There are those who say they work best under this type of tough love leadership. It pushes them to perfection, keeps them on their toes, and allows them to know what their boss really thinks. Praise from them is truly earned.

There may be some merit in this, but don't confuse someone's modus operandi as a leader to their actual personality. Don't misinterpret someone who hands out tough love for an abusive bully. Let's say at the end of the day you go out for a drink together. If s/he is still barking orders and doesn't display any affection or emotion they are a jerk.

Together we can change the paradigm. No longer do nice guys and girls have to come last!