The Sound of Silence

It's a sin that somehow

Light is changing to shadow

And casting its shroud

Over all we have known

- Pink Floyd

In recent weeks, we have witnessed the impact that the pandemic (COVID-19) has had on lives, on the economy, and on industries. We live in extraordinary times. I see news, WhatsApp group chats and conversations about the havoc the pandemic has wreaked on our lives.

But what if, instead of spiralling into pessimism, we chose to respond to the pandemic by becoming ambassadors of generosity and positivity? What if we decided to be a STAR – someone who will Stop, Think, Assess, and Respond?

Sure, the traffic on the roads has stopped, but we have not.

So stay grounded, stay humble, stay real and more importantly, stay positive. Optimism costs nothing and if you persist, then thoughts become things.

I decided to talk to a few of my friends to find out how to be a STAR ambassador, and perhaps draw inferences from how they have overcome challenges in the past few months. They are:

• Vasundhara Das, singer, composer, facilitator, partner at Drumjam, whose marvellous singing I have heard live and in movies
• Avinash B. S., actor best known for the role of Andrews in the film KGF, fitness enthusiast, biker, and my senior from college
• Rekha Santhosh, Vice President – HR, Wells Fargo, mother, travel and music enthusiast, and peer with whom I have worked for a year
• Arun Bhattacharyya, fitness guru, brand ambassador for fitness supplements, and biker, whose inputs on fitness and diet on social media are a big draw, and
• Sridhar Varadaraj, Founder and Managing Director at Zago, my favourite protein and coffee beverage, biker, and fitness enthusiast.

I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed putting it together.

When the levee breaks

Do situations such as the pandemic flip the switch of anxiety in us? Yes, is the unanimous response from the panel. But isn’t this response a common one given the uncertainties we face in life? Don’t we face the brunt of everyday commotion or the toxic environments we work in?

What makes this event an extraordinary one?

Sridhar says, “Our lives, and the world around us as we know it, have been disrupted and we don’t know for how long this damaging interruption will last. We are yet unsure of its consequences for us.” Arun feels it would be abnormal if we were not anxious.

The only way forward is to buckle up, Dorothy! While one size doesn’t fit all, the pointers here are by no means prescriptive – they are guidelines to frame our own coping mechanisms.

Vasundhara says, “I have been using the time to introspect and upskill. As a facilitator, I’ve also been holding space for others. This has been a really helpful coping mechanism.” Avinash, who likes to keep things simple, says he keeps himself busy and prays for the pandemic to settle down.  

Rekha and Sridhar leverage technology to stay connected with their family and friends. Sridhar has four family members in three continents. He and his partner have virtual dates, soccer match dates watching their favourite team, and cooking dates. What an infinitely better use of technology than posting unconfirmed news on social media that only adds to the unease!

Maybe I think too much?

Planning ahead, but not overthinking, is a thread that runs through these conversations. While some prepare for the worst scenario, developing a mindful solution by weighing the pros and cons, others prefer to stay in the moment.

Says Vasundhara, “To stay in the moment. To not overthink. I have been filling my mind with positive and nourishing thoughts through my work and with the help of a beautiful community of people who hold me up and keep me positive.” Arun, who got into fitness to change lives, says knowing that his clients are healthy and fit is a reward in itself.

Sridhar prefers to grab the bull by the horns. “You’d be surprised by how many solutions you’d come up with once the precise nature of the problem is established (the worst-case scenario). Overthinking doesn’t help. Breathing techniques and exercise certainly help in controlling these unbridled jaunts of our minds,” he says.

Rekha advises contingency measures. “The first one is on finances: It’s time to tighten up and remove the bells and whistles. The second is to make sure that there is a good insurance and hospitalisation plan in place.”

If we applied these tips to our daily lives, we would be so much better placed to cope with the uncertainty! These are times in which to cultivate a solutions-oriented approach, a trait that will serve us well in good times and bad.

Huey Lewis and the news

Avinash simply reads the headlines and follows all the rules laid down by the government and takes all the necessary safety precautions.

Sridhar says, “I choose my sources of news, which I believe to be authentic, researched and that steer away from sensationalism. I avoid discussions on current affairs on social media and WhatsApp groups.” Vasundhara watches the news for 20 minutes once in two days – it can’t get more disciplined than this! She picks a channel that “doesn’t overreact.” She is not in any WhatsApp group discussing Covid-19, nor does she forward articles or videos.

Arun keeps a tab on the number of cases, updates on the treatments and vaccination trials, and follows the rules that have been laid down. Rekha emphasizes, “I consciously avoid watching news. I ignore most of the group messages. My philosophy here is I am not going to let news come to me. I will seek the news should I need it.”

In other words, say our experts, news should serve us by keeping us informed or enabling us to plan, we shouldn’t serve news to create panic!

Don’t worry, be happy

No one is born with the talent to worry; it is a choice we consciously make. Choosing not to worry isn’t easy but it isn’t impossible either.

A single word that cuts through the chain of worry is: Schedule. Most people on the panel advocated a full schedule with a mix of work, hobbies, exercise and entertainment.

Says Sridhar, “I plan my week and daily schedules ahead to have a full day, whether with work, a hobby, exercise or even entertainment. There can be nothing better than keeping your mind occupied to save it from becoming the proverbial devil’s workshop.” He even plans his entertainment! Esto es inspirador se?or!

I personally like to sort work, exercise my planned muscle group after tons of research every morning while listening to one and a half hours of music. I also watch movies and play the drums.

So, what’s there to be happy about?

Avinash says that “we are witnessing a lot of unity among people; COVID warriors are working tirelessly day and night for the welfare of the people.” And Arun feels we all have become more kind to each other.

Rekha adds, “What is coming through loud and clear is that in times of crisis we actually start coming together as a cohesive unit. Corporates have kept employee safety and well-being at the heart of everything and have rolled out a host of initiatives ranging from wellness programmes, extended employee-assist programmes, extending telemedicine, equipping employees to be able to effectively work from home, top up insurance programmes, webinars and access to certified counsellors, nutritionists and fitness experts. People’s wellbeing and engagement is being redefined and is becoming centre of plate.”

Avinash says, “The biggest role that we all have to play is that of a responsible citizen by co-operating with the government and the COVID warriors and trying to make their job a lot easier.” Rekha calls out a very interesting aspect saying each one of us can play a role that will collectively gain momentum. The most obvious ones are not stepping out and wearing a mask, but she goes on, “We post so many digital bytes. Can we ensure that we post responsibly and share views that resonate hope, honesty and positivity? Take on a new interest (cooking, music, writing, whatever works for each of us), continue paying our domestic staff even if they are not able to work because of the lockdown, and make a sincere effort to stay connected with people who matter to us.”

This is the time to be in service in the context of what one is able to do. Every small bit counts and Vasundhara comes to the rescue with: “I am playing my role as a community builder and facilitator of human potential with my community of facilitators and students as well as organisations who work with me. Facilitating Drumjams has taught me so many life lessons that translate to so many situations universally. Especially now.” That is music to my ears!

Don’t be a Sunday Samaritan! Be a good Samaritan on all days to everyone without discriminating. Treat everyone with kindness and compassion. Forget your politics and for once, just know that we need to move forward together hereon.

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Sridhar’s view is straight as an arrow. “One doesn’t need a pandemic to become a good human being. Treating others with respect, sensitivity and kindness should be in our daily DNA. If the pandemic has made us realise our vulnerability and made us better humans, then thanks are in order to COVID 19,” he says.

Humanity first, and always. Being an HR professional myself, I find that humanity is often forgotten, and there is a huge gap with most leaders in the corporate segment that I have come across. We cannot view people as P&L; they are neither an Excel sheet, nor are they expendable or disposable assets.

Vasundhara makes a very pivotal point here. “We are still in the middle of this crisis and will be for a while and so, we must be grateful and yet conserve energies and our spirit to keep us going until this is firmly in the past. We will all be called upon to hold space for each other in some form or the other. And emotional self-preservation will be key in how useful we will be when our turn comes. That’s where I feel like my strengths are being pulled in right now - my musical skills, my skills as a facilitator and as someone who has been involved in building community for several years now and the work Drumjam and Community Drumjam Foundation have been doing since Roberto Narain and I began engaging in this work.”

While doing so, don’t forget to give yourself credit for doing everything you can and have done this far, celebrate it, spread the joy and make it contagious!

1860-266-2345

India is facing a mental health crisis in India and death by suicide is on the rise among younger people too. The number listed above is a suicide helpline offered by Vandrevala Foundation.

“Mental health is as or more important than physical health and has traditionally been ignored and worse, stigmatised. Besides, society has changed dramatically in this last decade. Social pressures are increasing,” Sridhar points out. Vasundhara adds, “An open dialogue is really essential. Extreme steps are taken when people feel totally isolated and alone. We have to look at how to tackle that both at an individual level and also at a community level. It would really help if each of us reached out to our immediate inner circle of family and friends and told them that we would be non-judgmental and really listen if ever the need arose. It’s really important to mean what you say and actually be there. There may be great comfort to a person in just knowing that they have someone to turn to.”

But how equipped are we to help people? Rekha says, “Most of us despite wanting to help are not really equipped to deal with situations where folks close to us need help. I think awareness and recognition on the reality and magnitude of this issue is the foremost step. This followed by mandatory awareness programmes for all adults. In the workplace, we have manager awareness sessions to help managers at least recognize early signs. Schools have taken the cue as well and have dedicated counsellors to help students through anxious teenage times.”

While Arun states that if you are not depressed by the pandemic and if you put it across positively then you will just create a butterfly effect, Avinash emphasizes that “kindness is the best nourishment for humanity. Anyone who’s having unconstructive thoughts should take a minute and think about the kind of impact it would have on the people that love them.” 

A tout le monde

Parting words of wisdom!

Avinash urges, “My sincere appeal would be to follow the rules laid down by the government. Always remember that the dawn right before the sunrise is the darkest. Go out only when the situation demands. Stay safe and healthy.”

Arun emphasises, “If you are reading this then remember that YOU ARE ALIVE. Ask a terminally ill patient how much life means to him/her. If you are alive then fight till the end. I will encourage everyone to fight every battle. Question is, do you want to be remembered for fighting till the end or for giving up?

Vasundhara says, “Sometimes, even something as simple as listening to one’s favourite song or just getting out of the chair or bed and moving to one’s favourite song, or just playing an instrument or singing helps change the mood.”

Rekha states, “We are not in it alone and therefore don’t need to personally react. Keep doing the things you love the most; and stay connected. It’s an opportunity to re-evaluate our life choices.”

Sridhar ends with, “Do you want to surrender or do you want to be a survivor? Winning is a mental thing. Just think it!”

Michael Jackson sang, “I'm starting with the man in the mirror, I'm asking him to change his ways, and no message could have been any clearer, if you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and then make a change…”

I’d like to believe that the time has come to truly surrender to compassion, inclusiveness and unpretentiousness. Start embracing. Stop discriminating. Continue to be a terrific person and remember, the only race you have to run is towards becoming a superior human being.

Stay safe.