Sorry, you're just not Latina enough...

You read that right. Not. Latina. Enough. 

I was waiting to hear from someone that had approached me about collaborating on a project specifically related to the Latina experience. We’d exchanged phone calls, texts and emails already at a pretty steady pace when it just stopped. You now that sinking feeling when you’re sure you’re being ghosted? There it was, silence. There are a million possible reasons why he’d not responded to my last message, but what that little gremlin inside me was whispering was –

‘He’s on to you. You know you’re not Latina enough to do this. You don’t speak Spanish all the time at home, you don’t (now or ever) have an accent’.

These are things I’d feared and never said aloud to anyone. For me (and I venture to guess many others) being Latina in the US is really complicated....there are layers, and layers to the layers. Honestly, the struggle is real.

My Latina identity goes like this:

• I was born here. My parents were not. They came from Cuba in the 60s when they were little kids.
• I’m bilingual, but never learned to write in Spanish (reading is easy, Spanish is very phonetic).
• I transferred from a predominantly white university (the University of Florida, UF) to a predominantly Hispanic institution (Florida International University, FIU) but not because I was taking a stance on being Hispanic.
• I love Cuban food, but don’t regularly cook it. I do, however, have lechon on Noche Buena and grapes on New Year's Eve...and turkey with stuffing on Thanksgiving.
• I can dance a mean Merengue and Salsa, but we don’t have the Spanish radio station on at home all the time.
• I watch English-language TV, but am always looking for multicultural cues to let me know if a brand is truly inclusive.
• I love my extended-family and stay very connected to them, but I live in a predominantly white community. 
• My kids are technically bilingual, but that’s probably giving them a little too much credit. 
• My husband is not Latino, but he is Portuguese (with a very Spanish last name).
• You already know (we’re on LinkedIn, so you’ve seen my profile) that I look pretty Latina....maybe? 
• I have brown eyes and an olive complexion and I’m crazy tan in the summer.
• My hair is brown and naturally curly, but I tend to wear it straight (because it’s more predictable, not because I’m passing or covering my Latina-ness). 
• Most of our friends are Anglo-Americans.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the gist. I am so proud of my heritage, my culture and all that comes with it. The tricky part has always been that when I think about the various parts of my identity, being Latina is there but perhaps not the first thing that comes to mind. I’m a woman that happens to be Latina. I’m also a working mom, a wife and a Gen Xer. 

The first time I felt like I wasn’t Latina enough was when I transferred colleges from UF to FIU. Suddenly I was immersed in all things Hispanic and specifically Caribbean...like, you couldn’t order breakfast on campus in English (which was pretty awesome, actually).  Most, if not all my classmates grew up either in Miami, South/Central America or the Islands - so it felt like everyone had an accent (even those that didn’t speak Spanish had a Cuban accent). I immediately felt like an impostor. Less than Latina. 

Then I entered the professional world where honestly, being Latina was only ever a benefit. Being bilingual was helpful, drawing from my familial experiences with my grandparents and upbringing gave me a unique lens that became valued and additive. It’s helped me connect with customers no matter the industry, allowed me to give texture and relevance to marketing campaigns, improve communications efforts and now especially (as I work in Inclusion & Diversity) informs a lot of what I do.

And yet, that gremlin is still there. Sometimes it's even amplified by the people around me. Others jump to assumptions about my upbringing and experiences (informed by whether they “see” me as white or Latina). I’ve had non-Latinx colleagues remark that I don’t look or sound Latina while others immediately assume it. I’ve had Latinx colleagues make fun of how “white” I act or suggest (sometimes plea with me) that I intentionally play up that part of who I am by wearing my hair curly, wearing bold colors, etc. as a nod to my heritage and a cue to others that I see them and I am them. Sometimes it’s flattering, other times it’s exhausting and confusing. 

Turns out, I’m not alone, far from it. Knowing that brings a comfort I can’t quite describe.

So as someone who literally devotes all my professional energy to building inclusive cultures where diversity is celebrated and people feel like they belong - I’m declaring I am enough. Latina enough, woman enough. Just enough. In the end it’s about owning your story, learning about others’ and making the most of what everyone brings to the table. 

The voices in our head can be so destructive at times. I’m saying it out loud so you know you’re not alone. Together we are all enough.

Who knows….maybe that’s the secret, saying it out loud. What story is your gremlin telling you?

#IamEnough; #Latina; #Inclusion; #Diversity