Sometimes You Wanna Go....

Remember the "Cheers" theme song? Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name....

A few years back, while shopping for produce at one of Warsaw's numerous outdoor farm markets I came across apples with my name, leaving me disproportionately chuffed.

We all know how important it is to use people's names, to remember them, say them out loud, and pronounce them correctly. Using someone's name is visceral proof they matter to you; if only for a few minutes they are important.

The combination of my name writ large, okay, not so large...and being in my hometown of Warsaw, fills me with perplexing emotions. I left Poland as a young child, never had the experience of going to school, making those first friends, or growing up in that environment yet whenever I go back, as I will again in a few short weeks, I feel as if I've come home. Part of it, I believe, is the stories I've been told of those early years in Warsaw, the memories I simply don't possess of my initial childhood. So yes, stories matter in so many ways.

I always tell my clients the most important story they will ever share answers the questions, Who are you? Why are you? Think about the last time you dated, or were getting to know new colleagues or neighbours. You play a catch-up kind of game, telling stories about the past and culminating with the "you are here" finale. Those stories matter to us, and they also help others decide how much and how deeply to engage with you. Vulnerability is hard to do as it requires courage and trust, especially hard to do when you don't really know the other person. Vulnerability is also prized because sharing moments of which you aren't particularly proud, or which are painful to recall and share, builds that trust which cements the foundations of a new relationship.

The same thing happens in a business setting. Clients want to know you, your values, your anxieties, and your humanity. Trying to be perfect is both exhausting and dishonest. We all know instinctively that nothing and no one is perfect so blithely carrying on as if you are will alienate people and breed distrust.

Tell your stories. Be honest. Use names.