Sometimes, you just listen

Sometimes, you just listen.

Coaching is usually about asking good questions. The right questions prompt the person you are coaching to sit back for a moment and think. When they do that—often in a way they haven’t thought to or never had a chance to do before—they come up with their own deep and helpful insights. That drives action.

But I had a session yesterday with a client where I asked five or maybe six questions the entire 45-minute session. She led the rest of it herself.

She has been working hard on getting more organized and dealing with the technical, process, and interpersonal issues that overwhelm her calendar. She was eager to tell me how she had been doing, the progress she had made, and what she was going to try next.

From the moment I started off with, “How’ve you been doing on your goals?” she was off and running.

Typically, I will prompt my coaching clients with questions that help them see how they can get around obstacles. I will help them get “unstuck” by empathizing and asking a few questions to give them the opportunity to see things from another perspective.

Often, I will offer a tool. Something to help them learn and try a new thing that will let them make progress on their goals.

I like to end with, “What are you going to do next?”

But this session, she did all that. She had even come up with her own tool and solutions and was eager to explain to me how it would all work.

My role was mostly to paraphrase and empathize a few times and to ask a few clarifying questions. I spent most of the session listening.

Did I add value as the coach in that session? Absolutely!

She had carved time out of her busy day (we were meeting after regular business hours this time) for her to be heard. I provided her the space to talk through her ideas and plans with someone who would push a little but who wasn’t going to make her feel judged.

I also recognized her efforts and promoted persistence. She knows that I will ask how she did on taking the actions she had set for herself. Even when her schedule might feel overwhelming, she will remember that she committed to those actions. She will put a little extra priority on getting those done, rather than something else, because of the gentle social accountability she feels for having declared her intent to me as her coach.

Coaching isn’t about telling people what they did right or wrong. It’s helping them see how to get better at what matters. It’s about providing the support for them to feel heard and to be accountable for making progress. And it can be incredibly valuable in both personal and business settings.

How much faster could you get things done in your business if you had someone making the space for you to work through places where you feel stuck? To take a look at the priorities, the plans, and the numbers with you in a way that gave you new insights? To help you remember to spend time on the things that matter most, instead of getting caught up in the day-to-day so much?

If you’re a business owner, FocalPoint experience has shown this can be the difference between floundering along in a tough economy and achieving 50% year over year growth. If you’re a leader inside an organization, this can be the difference between hating your job and finding a way to shine and enjoy it while boosting your own performance and that of your team.

Results matter.

Good coaching helps people focus on recognizing and improving their results.

That’s what I do.

And that means that sometimes, I just listen.

I help leaders gain insight, build their mental fitness, develop new leadership skills, reduce their stress and improve their results, and position themselves for greater influence and business success.

If this seems valuable for you or someone you know, please send me a message and let’s talk.

Ready to listen to you,

–Steve

P.S. This lady has already received a promotion since I’ve been working with her. I can’t take credit for that. She is smart, self-aware, and setting and achieving realistic, practical improvement goals for herself. Her organization also recognizes and develops talent, so she is in a good environment. I’m just a catalyst. ??