Sometimes you can only hope, pray and let go

Are you carrying a heavy emotional burden;?a special person in your life whom you cannot fix??

As a loving observer it is a very tough and frustrating space to be in because you can see what needs to happen but you are powerless to make it so.?Sometimes you can only hope, pray and let go.

You see, healing has its own timing. Everyone deals with shock, grief and trauma in their own way.?You can open as many doors as you like?and give as much support as you dare, and still nothing changes until that person is ready to take responsibility for their own healing.

Should I ever write a complete account of my experience of losing my husband in an armed home invasion?I will only do so if both my sons are willing to share their stories too.?In fact, it would be the only reason why to write such a book.

Three versions of the same trauma. Three completely different experiences of loss and grief. Three remarkably different healing journeys.

It would be a powerful and revealing piece of work about the human psyche and relationships that would give hope and understanding to many. Ryan and Matt?have both provisionally agreed to the concept, but the rubber has yet to meet the road on this one. Perhaps there is?more healing and growth still to be done before we embark on such a?journey together.

Hope:?A family celebration

Talking of hope, have you ever got to the end of something big and just burst into tears? Well that was me on Thursday last week after?my youngest son's university graduation ceremony. I cried tears of happiness, pride, relief and sadness?after?Matt’s BSc. Landscape Architecture was conferred. After struggling to complete this tough degree due to unresolved trauma, he?was also awarded two prizes by the faculty: Highest Overall Average across the entire landscape architecture curriculum for third year and Best Use of Concrete Products in Landscape Design. Yes, I am a very proud mama!

The details of Matthew's?journey through hell?are his alone to tell?but, last Thursday was proof of resilience, determination, healing, family, faith, hope and love.

People heal in their own way, in their own time. Take a listen to Coldplay’s beautiful song,?Fix You.

Much love and strength to you all from this proud mama.

The story behind?Fix You

The origin of?Fix You?sets the tone for its lyrics and composition. Following the death of Gwyneth Paltrow’s father Bruce, her then husband and Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin penned the song to help her through her grief. Martin had intended to use a church organ for the track. But in a beautiful and tragic twist Martin was unable to access one and instead used an old keyboard that Bruce Paltrow had bought shortly before his death.

“My father-in-law Bruce Paltrow bought this big keyboard just before he died. No one had ever plugged it in. I plugged it in, and there was this incredible sound I’d never heard before. All these songs poured out from this one sound. Something has to inspire you, and something else takes over.”?Chris Martin.

What followed was a track that Martin himself described as?“probably the most important song we’ve ever written”.

In times of trouble we can end up turning away help from friends and loved ones.?Fix You?reminds us that those same people want to be there for us. Not out of a sense of obligation or duty. But out of their love and care for us.

They may not be able to fix us but in times of trouble we should let them at least try.

Source:?https://thespark.org.uk/