Sometimes it Just Sucks

“When you argue with reality you only lose 100% of the time.” Byron Katie

The truth is, “Nothing is good or bad, it’s all neutral.”? I firmly believe and understand this to be the deepest of difficult realizations as I/we get more conscious.??

AND… just because it’s neutral, doesn’t mean it doesn’t f-cking suck in the moment.? That, it isn’t painful, your heart can’t actually break, but it can feel like it is being smashed into a million pieces.??

The absolute most horrible, crippling, devastating thing that ever happened to me… the thing that made me suicidal for over a year… turned out to be a blessing in hindsight…. YEARS LATER.

I have had the privilege to sit with people who’ve,

• Cared for a very sick child
• Lost a loved one
• Been inexplicably crippled by the loss of a relationship
• Had embezzlement wiped out their business
• Been charged with crimes they did not commit
• Lost millions from one small mistake

The pain is so real.

So when I give the guidance, “Feel your feelings, grieve what you need to grieve, accept reality and move on to… what can we do with this hand we were dealt…”

I’m not saying it should be easy.? It might be hard as f-ck.? It might take every ounce of energy and all your friend’s energy to take one little step…

That quote by Byron Katie is one of my favorites. I live by it.? And, I understand that reality can be a motherf-cker.”

So if you are running into a wall that seems impossible to scale… I’m here to say, “You got this.”? Even if you are crawling on the floor and feel weak as fish on dry land… you got this.

I’m a little sore at humanity today.? But my love for individual humans is bursting my heart today as well.

So I’m using this newsletter for that one person who needs to hear it today.

Book of the week:

I’m going to pick three.? Choose the one that speaks to you.

When things were at their worst for me, Pema Chodron was my salve.? Three of her books helped me find my strength, learn to deal with what was happening, and grow from the experience.

“The Places That Scare You - A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times”

“When Things Fall Apart - Heart Advice for Difficult Times”

The Wisdom of No Escape - and the Path of Loving-Kindness”

This Week on The Rising Leader Podcast

Episode 100 | Between the Bullet Points

• Vulnerability and feedback are crucial for creating high-functioning teams.
• Effective leadership starts with understanding both yourself and others.
• Emotional intelligence is key to managing feedback and reactions.
• The Enneagram helps identify prime motivations and fears, which shape interactions.
• Diverse personality types require tailored leadership approaches.
• Building trust involves understanding and empathy with those you lead.
• Addressing root causes of outsized reactions can lead to more mature leadership.
• The importance of introspection and curiosity in personal and professional growth.

Get ready for an enlightening discussion as I reflect on my recent interview with Keith Farazzi, the author of the groundbreaking networking book "Never Eat Alone". Keith's upcoming book, "Never Lead Alone", delves into team dynamics and the power of vulnerability and feedback in creating high-functioning teams. In this episode, I explore how Keith's approach intersects with my own coaching methods and highlight the importance of understanding the nuances behind effective leadership.

That’s it.

Lots of love, and have a great rest of the week.

?

- Mark