Sometimes I win and sometimes I...

SOMETIMES I WIN AND SOMETIMES I .......

I recall reading a Colm O'Brien authored book 'Feeding Johnny' a few years ago. In it he shared some of his life journey and some key business insights. One of Colm's philosophies which I'll share later embedded itself into my brain. 

My reason for this introduction actually precedes a confession - one that I hope might result in you getting some value from your reading investment.

I'm writing this just 15 hours after it happened- something that had never happened in seven years of speaking. Something that really struck me at the time and where I had to get through an hour or two of work and confidence anguish. 

Speaking is what I do and on topics primarily for the business world and on personal development. I'm used to intimate corporate training rooms and big stages in big conference venues. Usually my presentations last anything from an hour to a day. I've usually a lot of content to deliver and as a consequence I always have a roadmap in front of me - by way of notes invisible to my audience. Its job is to ensure I don't lose track of the points and activities I'm keen to cover. 

Last night's speech was not normal in terms of an audience or a stage. A 10pm Friday night dinner talk done as a favour for a friend is not my area of expertise. I had agreed a little reluctantly if I'm being honest. "Would you speak during dinner at a celebration of our organisation" was the phone request. Michael Phelps could swim in the US synchronised team swimming event but I doubt he'd be overly motivated to so. Similarly for me - I'm not an after dinner speaker but I didn't like to refuse.

Last night I made a decision not to have notes of any kind. This was a conscious decision I had made in advance, so as to stretch myself. It's a message I'm keen to recommend to others. If we stretch ourselves, we can amaze ourselves about what we are truly capable of achieving.

Now to share what happened. 

Five minutes into my 15 minute delivery I completely lost my train of thought. If it was just for a second or two that would have been fine - and nobody would possibly have even noticed. But this was different. My memory of what I wanted to say was gone completely and would only be recovered via a reconnection to my laptop which was hidden under my chair. Nothing to do but apologise and to buy a minute or two. Thankfully, my audience were kind and were happy to chat amongst themselves. 

I did get it done but it occupied me somewhat. Truthfully, I was embarrassed. After all, speaking is what I do. I pride myself on delivering very high standards of content and very high standards of delivery of content. What happened after my faux pas and how I reacted is something I'm keen to discuss. For a time it hit me. It really did. 

Has anything like this ever happened to you? Have you ever failed at something that then occupied you? Have you held this failure to the forefront of your mind but not in a good way? Have you up short in an exam, lost a contract, stumbled in a presentation; forgotten to do something you shouldn't have forgotten to do? Did it make you lose your confidence or did it take from your self-worth? 

Did you take it further by focusing on the failure for hours, days, weeks or maybe even years? When such a thing happens, many people beat themselves up and never get over it. 

As the dinner continued, I was lost in my own world. My thoughts occupied with failure. I knew I had to dig for a solution and I knew I had to react well. After all, Mindset is something I speak about a lot. It wasn't easy, if I'm getting honest, but I knew I had to. 

As I drove home I thought of Colm's business book and his philosophy on what some might see as failure. He covers it in chapter five. His theory is - I believe- first and foremost a mindset, after which it becomes a strategy. 

The chapter is headlined.. 

'Sometimes I win and sometimes I.........LEARN.'

Brilliant, isn't it. 

I resolved there and then to figure it thus. What has the experience taught me? What can I learn from it? How can I get value from it and perhaps profit from it? It's a brilliant way to look at what might be easy to see as failure- a failure that often gathers moss and dictates our future.

As I drove home that night, I decided to embrace Colm's philosophy. To begin I refused to let a negative focus occupy me anymore. I decided to draw a line under it. I decided to embrace it as an opportunity to go to a higher level as a speaker. Instead of thinking about failure, I focussed my thoughts on extracting learning. Something useful and valuable that would deliver a profit. 

My first learning was to always, always, have a plan B. Always have a safety net. Even when they are not needed, Plan B's should always be on standby. If they always gather cobwebs, wonderful. But have them there just in case. I always had one in my daytime work. The one time I needed it to hand, it wasn't there. If you do see me at an after dinner talk in the future, I will definitely have notes to catch my goldfish memory just in case I stumble. 

To help me further, I also took inspiration from the reflections of Michael Jordan- the US Basketball icon. I believe having inspiring people whom you can turn to can be a powerful safety net to keep you moving forward.

Jordan was once quoted as saying... 

"I've missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I've lost more than 300 games. Twenty six times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over again in my life... and that is why I succeed."

I love that quote and I brought those words to life in my mind as I got closer to home. They filled me with positive thought energy where I credited myself with having the ambition and having the courage to stretch. Life isn't about being perfect. Work isn't about always getting it right. Mistakes, shortcomings and faux pas can be discoveries and education to elevate our abilities - if we see them so.

Mistakes can be the pavement to success.

A week later, as a footnote to this story, an extra learning arrived at my door. I had called a friend who had witness me stumble that night. This man gave me a simple but brilliant idea which has resulted in me now being grateful for my fall.  His idea centred on having something ready if you do ever lose your train of thought. “Have a broad and short 90 second activity that involves your audience", he suggested. "One that works in any environment or can make sense to any presentation this you do."

I love that idea. A simple but a very valuable distraction strategy. 

One that I now have - if required- ready to go.

You see, sometimes I win and sometimes I .... learn. 

PS If you would like a complimentary audio copy of Colm's book, you can get it at https://www.colmobrienmotivation.com/freebie