Sometimes extraordinary impact requires intentional invisibility

For the last 15+ years I have had the honor of watching the best parts of me and the best parts of Senior, in human form go out into the world and begin making an impact. The intelligent, handsome, funny, articulate, charismatic, kind and unemployed human that lives in my home rent free and eats what I am sure exceeds his weight in groceries every week, is indeed my greatest blessing and unexpectedly one of my greatest teachers. In addition to all of those things he's also an athlete. That "best part" clearly comes from his dad. If you have been an athlete, raised an athlete, or loved an athlete you will agree without resistance that it's a tough gig physically and mentally and encouragement can go a long way. I would argue that high school athletes probably need more than others since they are balancing it with the normal teenage process of figuring out where they fit in the world and in JJ's case maintaining a 4.0+ and pulling 10 hour days regularly. Did y'all catch the humble brag? I am his biggest fan and I want what's best for him, but I don't subscribe to participation trophy culture. So encouragement from me is typically a little gritty, my own recipe of inspiration and conviction. Recently, we’ve talked about a lot about success in ways that are somewhat counterintuitive. Those conversations while meant for him, have also led me to my own applications for the advice I readily dole out and since I also refuse to subscribe to gatekeeping, I am sharing my recent revelations with you. So, here's what I know about being extraordinarily impactful even when it requires being intentionally invisible.

?Do not worry when you aren't recognized but strive to be worthy of recognition. - Abraham Lincoln

?We may all welcome recognition in different forms, but most people experience satisfaction when others recognize that they have accomplished something. We recognize high-performing employees with awards, bonuses, raises, and promotions. We recognize high performing students with being placed on the honor roll, scholarships, and pizza parties. Companies have even found ways to incorporate the joy of recognition into revenue generation strategies through loyalty programs. However, if we are not careful it is easy to slip into a mode of operation where recognition and success become synonymous.

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Recognition, according to Google, can be defined as "appreciation or acclaim for an achievement, service, or ability". That doesn't sound at all like a synonym for success, which is defined by the same source as, "the accomplishment of an aim or purpose". When we use those definitions it's pretty clear that the two are different. However, the secondary definition of success provided, "the attainment of fame, wealth, or social status", makes it much clearer as to how the lines can start to blur between the two. I guess you can say that the key takeaway in differentiating between the two is how one chooses to define success. Clear as mud, right? Here's an example.

This amazing catch that we were lucky enough to have an awesome friend capture on film pictured below is an action shot of the 'little' human described above. Upon making this catch the crowd erupted with cheers of 'Great Stop!', 'Good catch!', and 'Way to keep the ball in front!'. In short, recognition. If you expand the view and consider context, you realize that this moment may not actually represent success. In this moment, J got recognition for doing something, but the circumstances by which the opportunity presented itself represent anything but success. In order for him to make that catch and be recognized meant that something in his plan for the game had gone awry. His role you see, when done successfully, is virtually invisible. Doing things that get him seen and acknowledged are often counter to the best possible outcome for the team. The best thing for the team is most often for J's abilities and talents to go unnoticed. He's like insurance. You don't want to be without it if you need it, but most days you don't think about it. The hard lesson that we have been working through these past few weeks is the reality that in some of the roles we take on extraordinary impact requires intentional invisibility.

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For those unfamiliar with baseball, the catcher is typically calling the game. If all goes well in a baseball game, you will never notice how good a catcher is. The pitcher will look great because he's hitting spots and throwing what the other team struggles to put a bat on. The hitter's look better because he is actively learning the strike zone of the umpire and communicating back to his team, so no one wastes a pitch. A great catcher is supposed to know what each pitcher's strengths are and helps them lean into that to achieve the ultimate success of a win for the team. In a high school baseball game on average there are about 110 pitches per team. It is highly likely that the pitching staff will share the load of delivering those, but the catcher will be on the end of each and every one of them but will only be noticed in a sliver of the game, if at all. It's pretty similar to what each of us is called to do as a leader of others. We get to know our teammates and find ways to leverage the best of everyone's skills to achieve a shared goal. There are numerous small decisions that are made each day to help the team and the individuals that make up the team to succeed, but only a sliver of those, if any, will receive recognition. If recognition for making the right choice, is the metric by which you are measuring success, the road can get pretty discouraging pretty quickly. However, if the cheer of the crowd is placed on the back burner, and the definition of success is not the accolade but the accomplishment of the task at hand, we can ween ourselves of the dependency for external validation.

I am just as guilty as anyone of not only wanting to achieve but wanting to be recognized as an achiever. However, when I found myself feeling particularly burnt out the past few weeks, I had to take a step back and reevaluate what I was chasing and what was contributing to my sense of underachievement. Personally, I have decided to refocus my efforts and my metrics on being extraordinarily impactful and making peace with the fact that in order to do that intentional invisibility will be required. I won't be successful without building amazing high-performing teams. Doing so requires investment in the boring, unsexy, unrecognized aspects of being a servant leader. No one celebrates the hours alone strategizing to meet the needs of clients, show up as a wife and mom, and not eat everything in sight as a coping mechanism. However, I know myself well enough to know if I don't do it, I won't produce outcomes that are worthy of recognition.? I am hoping that my efforts to lead by example, will resonate with my favorite baller and with each of you. If you have tips on how to maintain a healthy perspective on recognition and success, I would love to hear them. Until next week, love hard, live well, and be great (even if no one recognizes it)!