Sometimes Courage Deserts Us! But it's all OK!

Sometimes Our Courage Deserts Us But That’s OK

What happens when courage deserts us and fear takes over? Because, inevitably, it will on occasions – and that’s OK.

That might sound odd coming from someone who’s encouraging you to be courageous and teaching confidence.

But….. You know what?

We are human.

I had an experience on Saturday that shook me up and my courage did a total runner on me, leaving me in more fear than I’ve felt in a long, long while.

But, on reflection, it shows that I’m human and it reminded me that I’ve come a long way from when I experienced much more fear, more often – when it comes to heights and dealing with my physical capabilities.

I’m sharing this story to share the lessons from it.

I went river canyoning with a group of friends and was really enjoying myself. I’d done this route before and had really enjoyed it, so I was relaxed and having fun. I’m now pretty comfortable abseiling down rock faces and gentle waterfalls.

When this photo was taken, I was not at all afraid, even though I hadn’t abseiled down this waterfall before (the previous time, we went down on a zipline to the other side of the river).

Then things started to go wrong.

The plan was to cross from the left side of the waterfall to the right and drop into the pool at the bottom away from the waterfall itself.

But….

I was tired. I’m still not as strong as I was before shingles knocked me off my feet and on top of that, I had an upset tummy the night before and zero sleep.

The force of the water was too strong and I got pushed to the left side. As hard as I tried, I wasn’t strong enough and couldn’t get myself over to the right.

So when I entered the pool at the bottom, I was in the wrong place and had the full force of the waterfall on top of my head and it forced me under.

I couldn’t surface and I couldn’t breathe – and for what was probably only about 10 or 15 seconds, although it seemed like an eternity – I thought I was going to drown.

I felt one of my friends grab me and pull me up and I caught a breath, but then she couldn’t hold me and I went under again. Fortunately, only another few seconds later, two of them managed to drag me out.

I was absolutely fine – I hadn’t really taken much water in – but the experience really shook me up.

All was well – until it came to the next waterfall, almost straight afterwards.

This time, my courage was nowhere to be found. I thought I would be OK and told the guide I was scared but I figured I would get through it.

Then I stepped onto the ledge where, I totally lost it and had a complete melt-down! Fear like I haven’t experienced in years. There was no other way down, but the guide was amazing and told me – no problem, we will do it together. Then, he pretty much man-handled me down to where I could slide safely.

The lessons I want to share from this experience.

1. Every single one of us will experience fear at some point.?

Nowadays, I consider myself to be pretty courageous and usually know how to keep my fears under control. But we are all human. When something shakes us up, we need to be kind to ourselves. As someone who teaches how to handle fear, I could have beaten myself up and called myself an imposter. Yet, when I reflect back on what happened, I reckon it was a natural reaction under the circumstances and nothing to be ashamed of.

So next time you feel fear, remember that fear is there for a reason – to keep us safe. Don’t ever be ashamed of your feelings. Acknowledge them. If the fears are unwarranted, we can learn to deal with them. When we truly are in danger, then fear is actually helpful so we take more care.

2. Accept and, if necessary, ask for help.?

When I was on Kilimanjaro, I learned how to gracefully accept help from the guides, so this time I had no problem. I told the guide I was scared before I even stepped onto the ledge, so he knew and was able to respond accordingly. I didn’t hesitate to accept his help (otherwise, I think I’d still be there now!) Without help, some things can seem impossible. With the right help, we can achieve pretty much anything.

3. People have your back even when you don’t know it!?

Nobody is going to let you crash and burn. When I went under the water, I didn’t know my friends were right there to fish me out. It was so great to feel them grabbing me and hauling me to safety – and then to hug me and give me emotional support.

4. Everything seems worse when you’re tired.?

Fatigue magnifies our emotions, especially negative ones. Maybe if I’d got a good night’s sleep the night before, I would have bounced back more easily after my fright. So if you’re planning on doing anything that takes you out of your comfort zone, getting enough rest beforehand is a must!

So remember – fear is a natural part of being human. Most of the time, we can send it packing but when it grabs us, just remember to be kind to yourself and take whatever help and support you need.

You got this!