Sometimes Being an Adult Sucks
iSpot.tv

Sometimes Being an Adult Sucks

Part of being an adult is doing things that are utterly disgusting. In lieu of a colonoscopy which I never get around to scheduling I was sent a Cologuard kit. Don't be fooled by the anthropomorphic box with arms and legs.

When offered this option I asked my doctor "Do I have to defecate in a box?" She said there were directions that needed to be followed. By no means was I trying to be funny or shocking.

My father used to discuss bathroom habits when he came home. It happened to be dinner time. Was the highlight of the workday going to the bathroom? Part of my perpetual rebellion is finding better topics of conversation.

Both parents talked a lot about bathroom habits. It's a topic with small children. By the time my sister was born- occasionally I changed her diapers. My mother does not remember this.

Supply and demand. In the time it would have taken to go downstairs and say "It's time to change her diaper" I changed it and her outfit if need be. We did not sing songs about it nor do I recall her bathroom habits except that she was accepted early to preschool on the criteria that she potty trained.

Not the last time she advanced early. I would rather talk about a certain baby than having to take this test. You can't study for this test. I had blockchain most of the day.

I shall never know what "Blockchain" is no matter how many times it is explained to me. It sounds like constipation. I set up the process. Remember when you used to change diapers? This is one thousand times worse.

You have to do what you have to do and I dropped off the box at The UPS Store. There was no way I was taking this to work the next day and letting longtime colleagues know my private business.

It was awkward enough dropping it off. I never know what is in the boxes and in a case like this- you really don't want to know. The employee would take that box to the back so it could be shipped. It's a recognizable box. Drop it off and they won't question it.

Unless it breaks open. That is unlikely because the inner part is covered in plastic. There are certain things I do that give me a sense of relief. I enjoy going to the dentist. It isn't that bad and I won't have to worry about for a while. This is something I did not feel better checking off the lists. I do not anticipate the results. At best I shall have to do this again in three years.

Strangely, the same time frame for Jury Duty. This isn't Instagram. Not everyone is living a wonderful life all the time with no adversity. Life is mostly good and there are processes that are best not discussed. Sometimes life is gross.

要查看或添加评论,请登录

Thomas Jackson的更多文章

  • Protest Do's and Don'ts

    Protest Do's and Don'ts

    Billionaires never impressed me. This is a difficult time in America.

  • Fire Drills and Ambushes

    Fire Drills and Ambushes

    The fire alarm went off Thursday. Sometimes they turn it on to answer the question "Have you heard the fire alarm in…

  • The Past And Present Merging in the Future

    The Past And Present Merging in the Future

    I was fed up with MTV by the time Vogue was released. It would only get worse.

  • Streamlining From the Interior

    Streamlining From the Interior

    When I started a paper route- a good job no longer available to high school students- a cumbersome winter jacket was…

  • Reflections on Movie Prostitutes of Yesteryear

    Reflections on Movie Prostitutes of Yesteryear

    Who decided Anora was the best movie of the year? Zola covered similar ground on the exotic dancer to prostitute…

  • One Has Nothing To Do With the Other

    One Has Nothing To Do With the Other

    "What did you do this weekend?" "I moved a cart from the back of a McDonald's to the CVS three doors down." The amount…

    2 条评论
  • Moved to the Celebrity Section

    Moved to the Celebrity Section

    I worked at Awesome Con from the beginning. Working at the Merchandise table was interesting.

  • Children and Slugs

    Children and Slugs

    There is probably a LinkedIn post to write about how slugs are disgusting while snails (slugs with shells) are…

  • The More Frames of Reference, The Better

    The More Frames of Reference, The Better

    Some guy moved to the top of the Favikon list because he rode the ChatGPT wave. If you saw his face in the feed, he…

  • Employee Appreciation and Other Alternative Lifestyles

    Employee Appreciation and Other Alternative Lifestyles

    Today is Employee Appreciation Day. Tomorrow is International Women's Day.

    2 条评论

社区洞察

其他会员也浏览了