Something to Be Thankful for This Year: You, Yes YOU!

“What are you thankful for this year, Doreen?”

It was around 1pm EST on Thanksgiving Day 2019 — the last time our family came together as a group before the pandemic. My cousin Cristi was leading us through our annual tradition of sharing one thing we are thankful for before indulging in our meal.

“That I’m still here with my family, and that even though we’ve lost some loved ones, we still have each other,” she said.

My Aunt Doreen (whose age is a mystery to each of us, although it is certainly north of 90) always has the most memorable and heartfelt sentiments. Even after losing her husband (her partner for 70 years of marriage), she still had the strength and grace to share her thankfulness for being with each of us. This was two years ago, and I still remember it vividly.

Each year we go around one-by-one and share what we are thankful for before our Thanksgiving meal. We can’t be the only family that has this tradition, right? While each of us anxiously stares down the stuffing (because seriously, what other Thanksgiving food would you prefer to eat?), we take a moment to share what we’re thankful for.

For the past few years I have taken time on the day before Thanksgiving to put some thought into what I’ll say when it inevitably is my turn to share. For example, in 2016 I was thankful for having a great team (spoiler: I still am). In 2019 I was thankful for playing the long game (yep, I am still thankful for this too).

This year, I know exactly what I’ll say when it is my turn ...

Accountability

About a month ago I ran my first ever half marathon. The only reason I ran this race was because earlier in the year my friend Elizabeth Weiland suggested we do it together.

Ever since my mom passed away, I’ve adopted a “say yes to more things more often” mindset (thus the reason I got tattoos, went skydiving, etc, etc.), so when Elizabeth suggested the half marathon, I emphatically said “yes.”

I was not (and still don’t think I am) a runner. That being said, Elizabeth and I trained together for months, and on race day, I completed my first ever half marathon. It was grueling. And it was also one of the happiest moments of the year by far.

I am thankful for Elizabeth. If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have had this experience.

This anecdote is a shining example of the power of accountability.

We’re all familiar with accountability, but what you might not realize is that there is a hierarchy of how powerful different forms of it are:

1. Accountability to self
2. Accountability to a partner/coach
3. Accountability to a team
4. Accountability for the team

The first level of accountability comes in the form of accountability to yourself. This level of accountability is the easiest to disavow.

Accountability to a partner or a coach is one level up from accountability to yourself. The half marathon I ran is a perfect example of accountability to a partner. If it weren’t for Elizabeth, I wouldn’t have done it.

Accountability to a team is the next level up. Instead of being accountable to just one person, you are accountable to a group.

Finally, accountability for the team is the most powerful form of accountability. Instead of being accountable to a team, you are accountable for the team. Their performance is your prerogative. You are the standard bearer for the group. This level of accountability is incredibly powerful, however it can also be overwhelming.

It was just the other day that I was reading Rob Go’s blog post on the NextView Ventures website. Rob’s post, titled “What Does Your Startup Mean to You?” peels back the curtain on the “more insidious purpose” founders have that motivates them to work on their startups. Rob summed it up well:

"These are all worthy motivations that give purpose to our work. [To solve a problem we care deeply about, providing for our families, delighting customers that you care for, etc.] But there is a more insidious purpose that I think often underlies a founder’s motivation.? The reasons above may be what is said publicly, but deep down, one’s startup becomes deeply intertwined with their identity and sense of human value. So, if things are going great, one feels like their life has meaning, purpose, and consequence.? Conversely, if things are not going well, all those things (meaning, purpose, consequence) are under threat."

Rob is right. He is so right. As a startup founder, I feel as if my identity is entirely connected to the performance of my company.

Rob goes on to quote the 1981 film “Chariots of Fire” about a pair of Olympic sprinters.? In that film, one of the characters describes the moments before a race:

I will raise my eyes and look down that corridor; 4 feet wide, with 10 lonely seconds to justify my whole existence.

I’ve never seen “Chariots of Fire”, however when I read this quote I got chills. “This is so true!” I exclaimed to my co-founder, Arash.

I derive meaning in my life from persevering through hardship and accomplishing challenging things. Whether that’s a half marathon or making car buying fair and efficient, what I enjoy most in my life is enduring the experience of accomplishing worthy goals.

And that’s exactly the reason why I am thankful for you.

If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be accountable to these worthy pursuits. My life is more full, rich and meaningful because of you. After 26 years I have realized that my first level of accountability (to myself) is fairly weak. I binge eat sweets when no one is around. I half-ass a workout because I’m by myself, etc, etc.

I think these things are pretty normal. You do them occasionally too, right?

Part of maturing and realizing how you can make an impact on this planet is to understand that you are a better version of yourself when you surround yourself with people who help you level up. I think my level 2, 3, and 4 accountability skills are pretty strong. If we commit to run a race together, I’ll be there for training. If we’re on the same team, I will give you my all, and in return, I hope you’ll do the same.

This Thanksgiving when we go around the table, I know exactly what I’ll say. It will be short and sweet.

“I’m thankful for each of you.”

And while my sentence will be short, the underlying meaning is long. Thank you for being a part of this journey. Have a safe, relaxing, and fun Thanksgiving.

-Zach