Something Real from a "Sales Guy"

Warning, what I am about to share with you is something very personal to me. It's about a man, a flawed man who like anyone else is trying to figure out this thing we call life. This man (who in this case is me) has had his ups and downs, made many mistakes and has come to a point in his existence where he simply wishes to find happiness, do good, give back, lead a decent life and be the best possible version of himself that he can be.

Yes, I have considered that I may in fact be making a huge mistake by showing this kind of vulnerability in a very public business forum. I have also considered that I could very well be alone in the things I have experienced, and this could end up falling on "deaf ears" so to speak. But then again maybe there's a chance that I'm not alone in this. Maybe there's someone else out there who might identify with my experience and just maybe if in some way what I'm about to share could possibly help another person in their journey; then for me this leap will have been well worth whatever risk one might think that I'm taking here. If there's someone reading this who at one point or another or perhaps even now is feeling or has felt the same way that I did, then this message could very well be meant for them.

This is a message of hope…

Yesterday came and went without me realizing what it really meant to me. The significance being that 8 months before on August 28th, 2017 I took a personal vow to live a better life, give up drinking, quit smoking, dedicate myself to regular exercise, start each day with a positive act and stick with my commitment to leave what has become the "National Reality Show" in my rear-view mirror. The concept was simple enough. If it doesn't make me happy, serve my heart, health or best interest it's something I'm leaving behind.

Guess what? I've never been happier, healthier, more optimistic or successful in my entire life!

Before I made this behavioral shift, I was depressed, overweight, tired, and miserable to the extent that I would wake up dreading each day and ultimately end up at some point medicating myself with booze until I was numb enough to not care. I literally couldn't stand my life or more to the point stand myself and was in a hurry for it get on to the predictable, speedy, nihilistic end that I saw for myself.

Sad but true.

The thought of actually being happy was a concept so foreign to me that it was literally too painful to consider for any amount of time. I suppose it came down to me feeling unworthy, defeated and powerless and that any real happiness was meant for people more deserving than someone like me. As a result, that reality felt like something distant, unobtainable, and so far out of reach that I might as well not even bother.

I've never been so pleased to be so wrong.

Today as I fly to Florida all I can think about is how excited I am to be an actual participant in my own life.

The moment I began owning my future, my health, my responsibilities, my commitments and my happiness everything changed for me. I'm no longer a bystander stranded on the shores of my own existence, helplessly watching like some disembodied spirit looking on as its life continues moving along in an inexorable fashion, only to spiral further and further into the inescapable black abyss of my own creation.

A bit dramatic? Sure...

Real to me?

Hell yes it was!

The lesson for me has been to never give up hope. For it is hope that shines its light brightest in times of darkness. Hope is the bridge to reaching our dreams. Hope is perhaps the best of all things. It is hope that has been my source of strength, courage, and willpower in taking these first steps into a better, brighter and more spiritually rewarding future.

"Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies. I will be hoping that this letter finds you, and finds you well."

~Andy Dufrense

*** And like good old Andy, if you want to look me up in my free time, it's likely that you will find me at my dock, working on my boat, dreaming of big fish and new fishing / diving expeditions; sailing out upon an open sea that is vast, limitless and as blue as it has been in my dreams for all these many years.