Something More

[DISCLAIMER: I was going through some old files looking for information to update my speaking agreement and came across a book synopsis I wrote over a decade ago. In re-reading, I think the points are as relevant now, as ever and felt LinkedIn would be the perfect platform to get feedback and test interest in this content...would love to hear from you!]

Years ago I thought about writing a book and considered “Finding the Happy: In Seven Not So Easy Steps” as the working title.? However, several decades and many life experiences later, I realized how misguided the notion of finding happiness is.? You don’t really find happy, in truth, we make happy.? Finding Happy is an ill-conceived notion, that inherently implies that happiness is some illusive, Edenic destination—a wistful, ideologue of a reward at the end of one’s diligent pursuit.? Instead, I believe, we make happy—one decision, one choice, at a time.

The concept of happiness that I'm describing is the deepest level of contentment that you can possibly imagine, a sense of fullness that envelopes every fiber of your being.? It is soul joy—a knowing that you are enough, that you are where you’re supposed to be and doing what you’re supposed to be doing.? It is not a feeling, for feelings are fleeting, but instead it is a sense of wholeness and being completely at peace.? I also believe that happiness is inextricably tied to purpose, walking in purpose and living life on purpose.?

After years of “ordinary-ness,” the human spirit that is purposed for greatness will eventually take one of two paths.? It will either grow dull, convinced that ‘this is as good as it gets or two, the frustration will fuel the yearning to find ‘something more.’?

It is at this point that one becomes increasingly aware that what you’re doing now, or even what you’ve spent the last twenty or thirty years doing is not fulfilling.? This can be a frightening and overwhelming experience fraught with questions and self-doubt.? What will I do instead?? I don’t have the training or education to do what I really want to do.? Will I be able to meet my financial obligations?? I have a thriving career; people will think I’m crazy to leave this great job.? Be assured that these feelings and questions are normal—and necessary—milestones as one endeavors to make “happy.”

The very idea that we make happy can be hard for some people to accept.? Why?? Because if we accept that we make our own happy, then it places the responsibility of one's happiness squarely on our own shoulders.? As such, it puts an end to the comfort we take in blaming someone else for our failing to achieve the love, the success and the happiness we desire.? It would mean that the years we’ve spent blaming friends, parents, spouses, partners, employers or circumstances for not making us happy were in fact, a bad use of our good and precious time.?

It does not mean that these individuals and institutions weren't without fault, but it does suggest that we maintain absolute control over the effect that we allow their actions to have on our emotional and mental well-being.? Fundamentally, happiness is much more about our reactions than it is about the actions themselves—reactions that are completely within our own control.? At some point we must make the choice to let go of the pain and hurt inflicted by others and choose to forgive them, let it go and MOVE ON--with or without them.? In fact, today, or better yet right NOW, you can choose to let this very moment be the last bit of hurt that you ascribe to any event of your past.? It is time to release the bitterness of yesterday and take in all the joy, hope and possibilities that tomorrow brings.? If you choose instead to wait, to have one final pity party to savor the familiarity of pain’s bitterness one last time, then tomorrow will never come. Instead, if you decide to take this bold step, let me be the first to welcome you to your bright, beautiful future-- and a life filled with passion and purpose!

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