Something I learned about... Time.

The concept of time, and not having enough of it is a common theme in many discussions and articles. On the concept of time, let me start with a few snippets of recent learnings and personal experience.

1- I was in the Deloitte partners' meeting last month, when the fantastic Dan Cable questioned why we talk a lot about “killing” time, if time is so finite! And how come many of us spend our weeks waiting for the weekend. That really struck me as so true and so sad.

Another aha moment from Professor Cable is when he mused about the term “work-life” balance, like work is opposite force to life. Like if we’re working, we’re not living! He proposed “work-leisure” balance as a more accurate term. But think about it, do you actually think that work is counter to living? And to provoke a bit further, are you a hamster in a wheel? and if so, are you going to do something about it? (btw, you can. you always have a choice, just need to find it and pursue it)

2- I have been listening on and off to the very poetic and intriguing book, the Order of Time, by Carlo Rovelli. Rovelli’s main argument, fact really, is that scientifically time does not really exist! That time is an illusion we constructed to make sense of the sequence of our reality. Rovelli argues that the more we try to understand time, the less sense it makes. For example, we think that time passes everywhere at the same speed, but this is not true. A clock, for example, moves faster at higher altitudes than lower altitudes, so theoretically, people at higher altitudes live “longer” than people at sea level.

And that there is no such thing as present! By the time we try to capture “present”, it is already gone and is already part of the past. As an engineer who studied quantum physics, I was not super surprised about this BUT how it challenges your thinking about how you perceive your reality is uncomfortable to say the least.

3- I am a single mom to a wonderful, yet expectedly challenging teenager, I have two dogs and two cats, I have a wonderful full time consulting job that requires a lot of studying as it’s on the bleeding edge of tech, and a painful yet also wonderful side gig as a PhD candidate, researching the behavioral economics of tax morale, of all topics. I know, you’re probably exhausted just reading this. I frequently get the question of how I manage to find the time to sleep, and I am usually confused as I think I have plenty of time to sleep. I sleep like 10 hours a day!

So, what does all of this mean? and more importantly, what does all mean to You?!

Here are my two cents...

- I had a “few” near death experiences. This made me acutely aware of time, notwithstanding of it being relative or even an illusion. I know that every moment counts. Can you force yourself to be mindful of making each moment counts, without driving off a cliff accidently?

- Many of us, me included, spend our life in a waiting state. Waiting for the weekend to relax, waiting for someone to notice our hard work, waiting for a loved one to call, waiting for things to get better… and meanwhile, we attempt to kill time and we are not really present in the moment. Maybe we should wait less and pursue more. The worst-case scenario of pursuing what you want, and of being present, is a lot less than just sitting there and then looking back many years later being remorseful for a life not well-lived. Do a decision tree and see for yourself!

- How do you find more time in your day?! Lots of books are dedicated to this topic. Still think “The 7 habits of highly effective people” by Stephen Covey still wins with its simple guidance. The one that I share with anyone who cares to listen is “Put first things first”! It simply means prioritizing things based on two factors: urgency and importance. So many urgent unimportant things invade our attention and steal many hours of our day without even realizing! Examples: random lengthy chats, social media, tv… just put a time limit on these.

I think meetings are the most common real culprit urgent non-important time sucking activity we do. We have so many meetings we don't have time to work!

I categorize meetings into two broad categories: 1) Update meetings 2)Brainstorming meetings. We do need meetings to brainstorm, for people to voice their opinions and provide inputs so the group can land on a decision, notwithstanding that the decision can be done offline and that you can collect inputs ahead of the meeting to minimize the actual meeting time. This requires planning but will allow for a more productive brainstorming meeting if you are clear on the objectives and inputs required to proceed.

On the other hand, you almost never need a meeting for updates. If you are the one initiating this update meeting, you can send an email and let people know to contact u for questions, worst case you send the update in advance and have 15 min meeting to answer any pending questions. It takes practice for people to adapt to this approach, but it will save you and everyone else tons of time. If the update meetings are forced on you, think about what you can do to enhance your offline communications/updates, so the meeting becomes unnecessary. And I almost always decline update meetings and ask for an email update instead. You will be shocked how much time you save in your day.

Going back to putting first things first, so many non-urgent important things get left to the never done To-Do list, like planning for your career, taking this one course, and connecting with extended network and friends in a meaningful way. Start your day by being clear on what is important and urgent and make sure you get them done, and book time for the important non-urgent, then handle the rest of a best effort basis.

There was a TED talk a while ago on time, sadly I don’t remember the speaker’s name. She mentioned how one day she had the usual packed day ahead of her, then a pipe burst in her basement, so she had to re-arrange her day to manage this emergency. Interestingly, the sky did not fall when she did this, so she got the “aha” moment to just focus on the important things and treat them as emergencies and work everything else around them… and it worked!

- Be present! Yes, the present is fleeting but that’s why it’s important to be in it. Engage with people around you, listen to them, think about how they might be feeling, what they might be needing, how you need to show up to them and to yourself.

Also, you cannot have work-leisure balance unless you are present in both, otherwise you’re missing both!