Some Zenia Love

( Here is an excerpt of my short story 'Some Zenia Love', that is featured in the anthology, 'Holding My Tears')

He worries a lot, my father. Not about the politics or economy or the state of the world or anything, but Mostly about not being able to answer satisfactorarily, The Most Important Question of His Life- Did you find a man who is everything that a father could wish for in a man so that he can become the husband of your daughter? He firmly believes he will be asked This Question by He Who Arrives On a Buffalo To Escort You To T.... .

To me, It sounds like one of those rotten questions which only an external examiner, full of saddistic intentions, can ask a dim witted student. But Father, never was or is or will be, a dim witted student. He is a gentleman who writes intelligent papers on The Success Ratio In Using The Latest Advances In The Spinning Mass Gyroscope In Inertial Navigational Systems.Unfortunately for him, he had to side track that activity and instead spear head a search mission - to find a boy for 'marriage purpose'.Like a mission To Find Some rice for 'eating purpose'. Or soap, for 'bathing purpose'.

This mission was brought to my notice when my family announced,'We have decided to get you married off else you will age for it.' They said it with the same excitement that egyptian embalmers would have told their dead, 'We have decided to mummify you else you will age for the world.'

There was a brief pause after the statement, to check for my reaction. It was actually, the 'sansakri' way to figure out if I had settled the matter on my own. I responded with another brief pause, before saying, 'Fine'. Well, what more could I say?

Expecting me to romanticize such an occasion is like expecting a hungry tiger to feel very saintly towards the deer it has caught and say, 'Jaa, Simran, jaa.Jee le apni zindagi'. Well, some hunt, some get hunted and blighters like me end up being the vegetation in the background.We add to the scenary, just like the shrubs by the road- a passive spectator in this game of wooing and getting wooed.

My name is Zenia Sharman... umm.. well, no, it is 'Sharma', actually. I added that extra 'n' after my last breakup -which was also incidentally my first one- in an effort to rebrand myself. Like I am rising from the ashes. My BFF, Aleena, gave me this idea. She said that, this Spinhx like trait is a much desirable one. It makes a girl 'attractive from within'. I am not really very sure about that, but I find the 'n' thing pretty cool. So, except on official docs, I am Zenia Sharman and that's that.

This break up.... don't read too much into it. It was really nothing...trust me... it really was Aleena's fault.She gave me this idea on the day of our team outing for work. At lunch that day, I was sitting sandwiched between Anika and a rather large, bear like fellow with rabbit like ears.Aleena was sitting across me and she made this astute observation that the Rabbit Eared Bear like guy was eating out of my plate. 'He had eyes only for you, I saw it.', she told me as we were getting into the car to return home.I denied it vehemently. But Aleena, a reasonable expert on this subject, was very sure about it.'Have'nt you noticed the way he looks at you everytime we all meet?You both look sooo good together!You sooo complement each other' she said. Actually, seeing him always made me wonder if he had ever been held by his ears, like a rabbit.Being caught up on such thoughts, did not leave me with anytime to notice or talk anything else. But what Aleena told me that day, kept playing itself like a loop, inside my head and so, a few days later, I asked him, 'You like me?' I asked it more along the lines of 'What the hell, man!'. But obviously, Mister Rabbit Eared, Bear Like Guy Who Eats Out Of My Plate heard it differently.So, in his deep bass voice that was proportional to his physique, he replied,'ummm.. actually, I am in love with yo-ur friend, Anika.' Ho!

'Dont just tell her or anyone about it. Please. Please? Please don't let her know. I want to tell her that in my own time and in my own special way. But I am telling you because you are my really good friend. I trust you and I really dont want to lose you.'

I was annoyed. Not for having to hear him professing his love for one of my friends but at having to hear him soliloquzie a question, to which I only wanted to hear a 'Yes' or 'No'. For the next three days, I was comfortably dumb and it was only when I noticed that Mister Rabbit Eared, Bear Like Guy Who Eats Out Of My Plate was no longer eating out of my plate but was going around hand in arm in waist with Anika, that it struck me, 'Zennie! You got friend-zoned!!! Like..dumped.. Like...STOP!'

That was when the anger came up, all of which was directed at Aleena who was the prime motivator for the call and the subsequent developments.But Aleena washed it off her hands saying Mister Rabbit Eared, Bear Like Guy Who Used to Eat Out Of My Plate did not represent that population of gentlemen who are loving, caring and sensible. She further pepped it up by saying that when uneducated young girls working as PWD sweepers could get a nice husband, so would I. Yeah, that's comforting. Bleh!

Sorry, I diagressed.Back to the Search Mission. But before I continue, let me make it clear that, this Aleena-Inspired-Thingey had nothing to do with leaving The Question of My Life at the hands of pater-mater familias. That is the sort of thing that happens in the 'Devdas' type of stories. This is not that. Though I will admit that leaving The Question entirely at the hands of the family had me a little worried.

What did Zenia do next? Find out at the link below: