Some Unsolicited Advice #23 (make mistakes, but make sure you learn from them.)

A while back we started a series in which I share some completely unsolicited advice… if you’re looking to pick up from the beginning, you can do so here, or read all the subsequent posts here.

Long story short: I wrote a book that you can read here; however, instead of leaving it as an e-book that very few people will ever read (it is titled “Some Unsolicited Advice” after all), I figured it’s worth sharing the points and lessons learned in a more consumable format, as a rolling blog series where I add one or two new items every now and again (depending on how much time I end up having), making for quicker and easier reading than dumping an e-book and calling it a day. And in this way, over the course of a year (or less, depending on the cadence), all the points will get shared in bite-size, more easily readable chunks. Today, we’re moving on to #23… Let’s get to it!

23. Make mistakes, but make sure you learn from them.

?One great and inevitable consequence of being action-oriented is that one will invariably make a good many mistakes along the way. However, as unpleasant as mistakes are, one can also take solace in knowing that these mistakes are the very fabric and great propelling force behind learning and doing anything of meaning that’s been done, ever. And while we absolutely want to minimize the amount of pain and number of mistakes in our lives, it’s important to remember that if we’re not making them, then we are most certainly doing something wrong (e.g., we’re probably not trying or pushing ourselves hard enough). I’m not saying we should try to make mistakes, but if we’re not making them, then it’s a pretty good indication that we’re either not trying at all or aren’t being challenged, neither of which are desirable outcomes. Yes, mistakes are certainly never fun, but instead of living in fear of making them, we should celebrate, encourage, and embrace our mistakes, so long as we maintain the understanding and perspective that they are, above all else, an opportunity to learn and grow.

For instance, think of the aspiring climber who, despite having a rope to catch them in the gym, never falls. Them never falling isn’t the result of superior skill, but a lack of pushing themselves to try tougher and less stable holds and positions – ones requiring more skill than they have in this moment. Falling is certainly scary, but in this case it won’t be fatal. Yet, if one isn’t falling occasionally when practicing, it’s reflective of not putting themselves in a position of being on the edge, where growth is most powerful. The same with a weightlifter or any pursuit – if you’re not eventually able to push the weight anymore, or you’re not putting more on than you know you can handle (provided there’s a spotter), you’re not going to see the same growth that someone who takes it to the very edge where they fail some (or many) times, but succeed and breakthrough every so often as well.

Even a mistake of negligence is an opportunity to learn from that mistake and improve, but we must be honest and truthful in evaluating our mistakes so as not to make the further mistake of distorting or diluting the learning opportunity with the allure of blame and excuses. If we can objectively review what went wrong, identify the problem, and then apply a solution, then we can also quickly iterate on those learnings with subsequent improvements and, in doing so, grow rapidly in a way that’s truly impossible for those who do not make mistakes (or are too scared to make them). You’re going to make mistakes; trying to avoid doing so is effectively a fool’s errand and will leave you blindsided and broken when you do make the inevitable mistake. Someday, no matter how well-intentioned your attempts, you’ll likely get fired, you’ll likely get reprimanded, you’ll likely lose money, you’ll likely look like a fool, and so on. However, if it’s going to happen, just make sure it happens for the right reasons - and make sure you learn from those opportunities.

By not being afraid to make mistakes and critically evaluating them as they do happen, we can learn to take advantage of the growth upside they provide. And in doing so, we make ourselves better than we ever were before the mistake. Just don’t repeat the same ones over and over. Those who take calculated risks and learn from them are (on average) (a) going to go much further than those who don’t take risks at all, and (b) still further than those who take risks but do not aggressively learn from their mistakes. As Neil Gaiman once said, “If you’re making mistakes, it means you’re out there doing something,” and doing something is the key to doing anything.

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And that’s it for this round! Of course, if you want to skip ahead at any point, feel free to buy the full book on Amazon here. Thanks!

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