Some Tips for Coping at Christmas

Being resilient is more than just coping. It is about learning through the experience to grow personally and become stronger to deal with adversity better as you encounter it.

You have survived the stresses of previous Christmases. This doesn’t make you more resilient, it means that you learn coping mechanisms that help to make future Christmases less stressful. Or do you?

Coping is adapting your thinking and behaviour to manage demands that exceed the resources available to you or demands that you find taxing.

Resilience is the ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change. Resilience is an internal drive that relates critically to how you calmly engage with your environment.

Even though Christmas occurs every year at this time, it still causes a lot of stress as plans don’t work as intended, money is tight, time is running out, family and friends are making extra demands, etc., etc., etc.

Here are some hints and tips that will help you to cope.

1.     Ask yourself, “What will happen if I don’t do this?”

2.     Practice mindfulness techniques. When you are stressed your heart beat increases and your breathing shallows, it’s all part of the fight or flight reaction. Work on reversing this process and take time to breathe deeply. Breathe in deeply through your nose, hold for 15 or 20 seconds and then breathe slowly out through your mouth, repeat for a few minutes to instantly help reduce stressful feelings.

3.     Limit your food and drink intake. Let’s be realistic, it is Christmas! However, avoid excessive alcohol as it dehydrates your body and makes your liver work overtime to process it. Drink as much water or juice as alcohol as this will help you to stay hydrated, feel better and therefore cope better.

4.     Unlike years ago, shops are not closed from Christmas Eve until the New Year. Do you really need to buy in more than you need for the Christmas period?

5.     Prune your Christmas card list. Consider why you are sending cards to people that you haven’t seen in years. Make an effort to communicate with them another way (phone call, letter, email) over the coming months.

6.     Prune your present list.  Limit your list to children only, draw names, or organise a gift exchange. Agree with your friends to stop buying for their children who have grown up, married and no longer live at their home.

7.     Limit yourself to a budget. Original and exciting presents can be bought for people with a little forethought for less than ￡10.

8.     Buy gifts throughout the year in sales or when you are on holiday. Buy with a particular person in mind to make it more special and more personal.

9.     Shop online. Gifts are often less expensive than in the major department stores and local shops. Often you can find something that is not available elsewhere. It some cases, the item can be gift wrapped and delivered directly to the person you are giving the gift to. You may be able to buy most of your food online to safe extra time and hassle.

10.  Buy your cards, decorations and wrapping paper for next year in the sales immediately after Christmas.  

11.  Travel at unusual times. Everyone seems to be going away to visit family at Christmas and the motorway systems get clogged up. Arrange to travel at times when fewer people are on the roads, such as early in the morning or late at night or, best of all, Christmas morning!

12.  Stay at home. Snuggle down at home without the hassle of driving long distances and get people to visit you. Plan to experience Christmas in your locality with events on your doorstep.

Have fun!

Remember it’s your Christmas too so try to relax and have fun, laugh and be merry. 

If you do find others around you being difficult then try to rise above the situation. If things don’t go to plan try not to worry about it, instead laugh about them and make them into fun memories that you can talk about during Christmases to come. I am often reminded of the time when I set fire to my shirt sleeve rather than the Christmas pudding!

To learn more about mindfulness, sign up for my free online course - Working with Mindfulness