Some of the Things that Shaped my Character

Preface

Now that I'm in my late 40s, past a mid-life crisis (arguably several ones) with flying colors, albeit not achieving 100% of my personal goals in life, I look back at myself and reflect on some of the things that helped shaped my character. Some of these things happened inadvertently, others came naturally. One thing in common: None of them were planned.

Get your bag of adjectives ready

While I'm stating the things that helped shape my character you'll have your chance to use any or all of the adjectives in the dictionary. Feel free to attach those selected adjectives to my character. I wouldn't mind, as that's me. You'll find a space in this article where it says: "<Insert Adjective Here>" giving you that opportunity to "call me anything".

Oh, one more thing: I'm not showboating here. There's nothing much to brag about in my life. I just wanted to share my reflections so others can become better persons in a shorter timespan.

Now without further due,

1. Justice... Or not?

In school I was an 'A' student. Not because I wanted to impose myself on the community, but because I can, and I realize that I can. Furthermore, receiving the reward in front of a large crowd during the annual ceremony makes me happier. A sense of achievement, as some of us may call it.

In 4th Grade, competition to finish top of my class was fierce, albeit a two-horse race between a dear colleague (and very close friend), and myself. Near the end of the scholar year I was more confident than ever that I'll be the "Top Gun" of the class. Why? I had scored full marks in most subjects, while "The Competition" had lost some ground. Apart from a disaster during the final exams, nothing was going to "shake my tree".

Our school holds an annual ceremony, where high-school graduates celebrate, and among other activities, the school gives rewards to "Top Guns". The anchor announced that it was time for the students who finished top of their class to come backstage. Being very confident I walked backstage and waited. On came "The Competition" and was surprised to see me there. He asked: "What are you doing here? Do you think you are the top of the class? Did the school call you? They called me!". Back then we didn't have a phone. It turns out that the school called the students who finished top of their classes, but they didn't call me (they couldn't, even if they tried). It was obvious that I didn't secure the top position. I "apparently" lost.

Wow, Hovsep! That makes you <Insert Adjective Here>.

It wasn't easy to accept defeat at that age. I had a firm belief that something is inherently wrong, but I couldn't determine what it was. I wanted to complain to the principle, but that wouldn't have changed much. So I decided to make it up during 5th Grade. I simply worked harder, smarter and better than anyone else. pushing myself to new limits. I'm gonna nail this thing!! Yes, indeed I managed to secure the top spot. This time, I was clearly the winner and celebrated my achievement.

Wow, Hovsep! That makes you <Insert Adjective Here>.

During that year's summer vacation, my father bought a calculator. To learn how to use it, my cousin and I decided to calculate the total of school scores (we use a number between 1 and 100 here, not 'A', 'B', etc.). My cousin and I exchanged our school scorecards and began to calculate totals. Surely, we got a total that matched the one written on the scorecard. My cousin faced some difficulty with my 4th Grade scorecard. The total written (by hand) on the scorecard was 20 points less than what it should be. We tried again and again and even asked adults for help. Indeed, the school made an error. With 20 additional (and rightful)marks I would've been the clear top of the class. I was in a state of a shock! This is injustice, unfair and inhuman to say the least. My senses (some may call it ego) were absolutely right! I was the top of my class in 4th Grade. How can I reverse time and claim my accolade and make things right again? That was impossible. I was weighing several options including leaving the school and finding another one. That would've given the wrong signal. By the way, this is the first opportunity (after more than 35 years) that I'm stating this fact.

I don't know whether I should request the execution of my teacher who made that error (you should've at least got a second pair of eyes, or use a calculator more often), or thank him for the "inadvertent" mistake that led me to become much more competitive in life than I would if it finished with justice being on my side.

Wow, Hovsep! That makes you <Insert Adjective Here>.

2. Early encounter with "Love"

When I was in 7th grade, I had, well, some form of a crush toward one of the girls in class. Being reluctant, possibly inconfident, etc. I didn't have the guts to tell her. I kept my feelings toward her a secret. I also asked my parents about how did they meet and so on, but that didn't help me at all (generational differences are enormous these days. Just ask my daughter). What I found from my discussion with my parents is that a male is "responsible" for bringing in the supplies needed by a household, while a female is "responsible" for turning those supplies to energy that can be consumed by children. You may agree or disagree later in "this show".

OhOh!!!! I realized something: I didn't have any money. No money, no job, nothing! My father was a minimum-wage worker. We couldn't even afford new clothes when we needed them the most. I am a poor, weak guy with no particularly attractive attribute that would make women interested in me (Was I?). A few weeks later, there she was sitting next to me in the bus and trying to start a conversation. I was not comfortable at all. Some may think I had no style with women. Honestly, I thought it was way too early to build a relationship with the other sex. "Why would she be interested in me?", I thought. If I were to ask her out, or get her any present, I had no money to spare. Realistically, she was better off with someone else. I was, against every sense in me, forced to treat her ice-coldly and she never spoke to me again. [No wonder, Hovsep!] But I was trying to set her expectations right (and possibly failed miserably).

Wow, Hovsep! That makes you <Insert Adjective Here>.

What was I supposed to do? Make promises I can't fulfil? I needed at least 15 years to be able to support a family (took me 21 more years). Would she wait for me until then? What are the chances of that happening? Well, 7 years later, I came to know that once she completed High School, she got married. I wished her all the luck and hoped he is a better man than me.

3. Corporate Bulls**t

If you take a look at my career profile on LinkedIn, you'll notice that I spent 7 years on average in each company I worked for. In today's terms, that makes me someone who likes to settle down and not keep changing jobs too often. Little does that tell you about the challenges I had with what I call "Corporate Bullsh**t".

In one of my jobs, an internal auditor came to the showroom where I worked and requested an immediate physical inventory of the items in the showroom. It was mainly a smooth process except the items in the attic. It was a dark, hot place that no one was willing to go to. Feeling that no one else would go there, I took the responsibility and performed the physical inventory of the items in the attic. When done, I was soaked in sweat. The Manager came by and saw me in that condition. He was extremely furious and asked me what would a customer feel if they saw me like that? I was about to lose my job.

Wow, Hovsep! That makes you <Insert Adjective Here>.

Have you noticed how everyone's trying to compete against everyone else in a corporate world? As if everything in life hangs by the thread that holds everything and that's someone's job. In several corporates I worked for, I felt that there was a fierce competition for the position I was hired for. Remember my take on "Competition"? I can beat others fair and square and I'm confident I can do it again, but only if "fair and square".

In one of my jobs, I stayed in my position long enough to see 4 different people as my manager. I noticed a downward trend in quality of personnel. I loved my fist manager as a person and took him as an idol becuase he was an inspirational leader. But, for some reason he left the organization. The last one was a complete a**hole!!! He knew nothing about me, yet talked garbage about me in front of more senior managers. Again, I didn't give a damn about his thoughts. What hurt me, though, was that those managers, who a few months back handed me my 11th award in 5 years, believed this bull**t and didn't notice all the accolades I had collected over the years. To make things worse, they celebrated the achievement of this new guy, who'd been in the post for 2 months only, and never celebrated my (or anyone else's) achievements.

Wow, Hovsep! That makes you <Insert Adjective Here>.

In a later stage in my career, I decided it was time for me to seek my childhood dream. It's disappointing, but I have to say this. Everyone talked me out of this decision. If it weren't for a handful of people, I would not have started my own business and made such great strides as I do today. Everyone thought that the economy wasn't stable enough. That I didn't possess the skills necessary to run the business. That I'm too soft. That... Some of my former colleagues placed bets as to how long would it take me to return to a job. The most optimistic ones gave me 18 months (and those are still very dear to my heart, but they don't know that I came to know about the bets they placed against me). Not that I gave a damn about all this Bulls**t!!! I decided to take my chances and do rather than don't. Here I am, more than 7 years running a successful business against all odds.

Wow, Hovsep! That makes you <Insert Adjective Here>.

4. Losing, losing and losing

Those who know me personally realize that I'm an open-minded, optimistic, always smiling guy. Little do they know about the ordeals I had to go through to make it to this stage.

Finishing top of my class in high school, with limited funds and resources, my father could not send me to college. my only hope was Kuwait University, which allowed 'A' students the opportunity to join the university and the charges were nominal. Instead of encouraging me to fulfil my dreams, the school principle talked me out of that option, declaring it impossible. Strike 2 from the school, I thought. Then the principle offered me an alternative. My application to the alternate university was accepted, but in a major I didn't apply for. When I asked the principle, he informed me that he changed the selected major in my application, as he thought I had more potential than the major I had selected. Strike 3 dear principle, the school is out!

During my life I lost a lot. I lost a wife to cancer, just over 3 years into my marriage. I lost a father, who passed away after suffering tremendous pain. I lost a lot. But I gained experience, which I'm sharing with you. I also gained the respect of a lot of professionals. This, I consider, is the true balance in one's bank.

I have the greatest brother someone can have. I have a wonderful daughter who keeps me alive and I have a successful career to brag about. All the reasons to keep smiling in the face of challenges.

Thanks for reading.