Some Scars are Deeply Rooted

It was 2 am. She had been in a coma for weeks, and at that moment, her heart failed till it stopped beating. The next day, the Doctor broke the devastating news to my siblings and me that my mum had died from a cardiac arrest. I was 18, but I still remember it vividly just like yesterday.? ?

For the next few days, I could not give in to the tears. A part of me was in denial and I kept looking out the window from the living room of my grandpa's duplex, hoping she would come back, but she never did.? ?

As I poured the red earth of the Benin soil into her grave, my soul was torn apart. Something broke inside me that I could not understand. I felt emptiness, weakness, and the urge to elope from everything and everyone.?The coming years were harder than I expected. It was a Herculean task living with the thought that I no longer had a mother to love and call my own.? ?

As I grew older, I understood that life was a blend of losses and we had to learn to deal with the pain or trauma of losing our loved ones. For some others, they find an escape in alcohol, drugs, sex, and other unhealthy habits to shut out the pain and the feeling of loneliness.? ?

However, I have learned that we could develop healthy habits of dealing with the pain of losing a loved one. For me, it has been a process of tapping into my inner being. I began to overcome pain through reading, Bible study, writing, cooking, music, exercise, and other fun activities. Also, I understood that though she was not with me in the flesh, I carried her in my heart always.? ?

I understand that now and then, even if we still find ourselves with our pillows soaked at night, I want you to know that although some scars are deeply rooted, you are not alone. ?

I hope you reach into yourself and escape the pain by?discovering and doing?what you love.?

I hope that you find peace and happiness in your journey through life.?

Have you lost a loved one before?? How were you able to overcome the pain??

Love and light!?

Abimbola Geraldine Salau?

#DiaryofaResilientDreamer?#Mentalhealthawareness?#Peace?#Bliss?#Love#overcominggrief

?

?

?

?