Some Reflections on Turning Thirty-Eight

I turned thirty-eight yesterday. That’s a weird number. It means that forty is just two years away and I still have the mindset that forty is impossibly old.

It’s also a good time to sit back and reflect on the journey so far. I spent a couple of years after university trying to find my niche in life. I began by working for NCUK in Manchester, which were lovely enough to employ me as their administrative assistant. I then decided to take a risk and go live abroad so I went to Japan and taught for a year. It was while in Japan that I decided to write for a living. I came back to the UK and in September 2007, I was accepted by Incisive Media onto its Editorial Graduate Programme. I completed that but, unfortunately, was laid off the next year when the company was in the middle of financial problems.

Between then and 2016, nearly seven years, I did a bunch of jobs but kept returning to reporting. I moved to Berlin, I worked as a teacher again (with Wall Street English), I worked for pv magazine, I wrote articles for much of the UK trade press, usually on pensions for European Pensions and Pensions Age. I even wrote, on occasion while working with Associated Reporters Abroad as an editor and (later) assigning editor for titles such as The Washington Times, USA Today, and The New York Post. I wrote for titles and companies big and small. Did a lot of writing.

I also became a father, twice over, and so the freelancing became useful when co-parenting with someone who often has to travel for work. In the middle of all this, I ended up working at Retresco for a mostly-happy three years, first as a freelancer, then as staff. I was a Linguistic Data Architect at first, then the company’s comms manager. I left Retresco in February and moved to Staramba, where I took on a similar role. That lasted for three months and in May, the company laid off much of its workforce, myself included.

So I’m back to looking for a job and I’m reflecting on what I’ve learned and what I can bring to a role.

The main thing I’ve learned is that it’s a challenge to parent and work. It’s doable, but takes a lot of organising. And there are the days in which you have to leave early because the little one has a fever, or the school or daycare has to close unexpectedly. And there are times when you weigh up your commitments and decide that, yes, you are going to see that Christmas play or run in that parents’ race on sports day.

So I’m back to looking for a job and I’m reflecting on what I’ve learned and what I can bring to a role.

It’s hard, but it’s doable.

But what do I/could I bring to a new role? What has being a parent taught me about being an employee? Well, as far as my own children are concerned, it is me that is their employee.

Well, I’m organised. If I have to take both children to their respective institutions in the morning, getting them up and dressed by myself, I manage to get a six-year-old and a two-year-old up, fed, dressed, in coats and shoes, and out of the door in an hour. I also managed to make packed lunches, shower, get dressed, pack my own bag, and get them both into a bike-and-trailer in advance of a ninety-minute commute.

I’m even-tempered. Small children are hard work, and I often say that two children are more work than the work of two individual children—they’re the work of four children because they seem to multiply exponentially. Thank god I don’t yet have a third. But when you’re trying to get them into coats and shoes and pick up their bags because YOU HAVE TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW, you learn that there are more effective methods than to lose your temper. Often, I ‘delegate’ tasks to my eldest by getting them to help their sibling. The younger one then looks to the elder one as they set an example.

And, lastly, I am able to prioritise my tasks. I am aware, throughout the day, that my time is limited. I know that there is no way I can stay past a certain time so I have to look at what’s in my inbox and make sure that the important stuff gets handled first.

So what do I/could I bring to a new role? Well, there’s the twelve-plus years of reporting experience, a degree, a post-graduate diploma, an apprenticeship, a willingness to learn, an ability to take on new subjects and projects quickly, enough references to choke a donkey (41 recommendations on here, for starters). And parenthood has gifted me with organisational skills, even-temperedness, and an ability to prioritise.

I am aware, throughout the day, that my time is limited. I know that there is no way I can stay past a certain time so I have to look at what’s in my inbox and make sure that the important stuff gets handled first.

And right now, while my days are empty of employment, I’m trying to stay busy. As Orson Welles once said, “A basic failing of all lazy people—they have to work too hard or they won’t do anything at all.” I’m applying for jobs, writing another book, writing articles for my Medium page, and doing the school run twice a day.

I guess, on reflection, if I looked at everything in my life, I may temporarily be lacking a job but I’m busy. But there’s one role I do have and it’s the most important—being Papa.