SOME PEOPLE JUST DO NOT DESERVE US.

That is how I feel sometimes as carer. The way some family members behave towards carers and centres, I sometimes think they deserve to suffer.

Blaming, shouting, nagging, and behaving like they know it all and that all others are not doing their jobs. Always showing an angry face to the carers and carrying a constipated face are just some of the things care centres must face each day.

But Covid 19 brought smiles to many carers and care centres, at least they had some relieved from all these. For a while.

Then, I tell myself, “Look they need help. The family members do not know what to do.” I believe this is true that they needed help to manage deteriorating conditions of their loved ones.

So truly family members or people with elderly parents or just parents must start to learn how to be a partner with carers and aged care centres to make lives better for their beloved. And it begins with learning how to work with carers and centres and here are some steps which I believe will help you:

#1. UNDERSTAND THE WORK OF THE CENTRE

Do not just leave your parents at the centre or with carer, learn their job learn their routines. Each centre has their routines like 6 am to 10am is bathing, feeding, and cleaning time. Learn what they do and how they do it. Learn with an open mind that you want to help us. Paying money to a centre is not the end to all. It is the beginning of a relationship with the centre and carer.

#2 GET TO KNOW YOUR CARER

Get to know the carers in the centre. They are human too. The problem you faced at home with your loved ones will be faced by the carers too. Do not assume that we are professionals and leave all to us. We are professional because of more experience with other elderly. Remember we do not know your mom or dad yet. It takes weeks and even month to assess and understand an elderly, especially one with dementia.

#3 TRUST BEGETS TRUST

This is not easy, I know.

Learn to trust the centre and carers by getting to know them as in #1 & #2. Do not start going o a centre with a suspicious mind. Go and learn about them and understand them. Centres may be a business and carers may be working for a livelihood but they too have someone to take care at home. There are carers who works in a centre who cannot afford what you can for their loved ones. They have struggles at home too.

#4 IT TAKES A VILLAGE TO CARE FOR AN ELDERLY

No one can do it alone. No family members regardless of how many children they have. Regardless of how much money one has, regardless of how many staff a centre has, no one can do it alone. Your family just got bigger with the introduction of your loved ones into a centre. You will have new brothers and sisters in the carers. You will have new neighbours and friends with other residents and their family members. Your life just got busier.

#5 EMBRACE AGEING

Finally, embrace the ageing of your loved ones. Take it as a life game with upgrades and changing challenges. Take it a gift from God that you have a chance to walk with your loved ones in their last journey. Take it as a learning experience that you have just attend your PHD in aged care and you have a thesis to complete. Take it as your legacy of what your actions will leave for your children and their children and so on and on and on.

Let us make ourselves more loving and lovable.

#belovable #donotdeserveus #PutFamilyFirst #careforother

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