But, some will

Entering 5th grade in 1980 was a turning point in my life.

I was at the top of the elementary school food chain. And, I had one of the best teachers, Mr. Mike. More like a football coach, than teacher, his tough, authoritarian exterior easily commanded respect. For the foolish few (myself included) who didn’t follow his orders, realized ‘the paddle’ mounted on the wall above his was desk wasn’t just for decoration.

However, what I’ve come to understand as an adult, is that beneath his thickened surface, Mr. Mike understood that education was more than learning historical facts, how to construct a sentence, or reciting times tables. School was a place to grow and develop.

School was a place to prepare us for life.

Because of his part-time job at the YMCA, he arranged Friday swimming lessons for our class. I can still vividly remember our first lesson. After a self-selection process, he formed us into two groups. He then walked the group who professed to ‘know how to swim’ to the deep end, and told us to jump in. Some did. Some didn’t.

Taking a deep breath, I jumped!

It didn’t matter that it was the deepest water I’d ever been in. Nor, that I had never received a formal swimming lesson.

Somehow, without my knowing, I knew.

I knew how to keep my head above the water.

On that day, I felt what it meant to believe in myself.

From that point on, I loved going to school. I loved learning. I loved being in Mr. Mike’s class.

There was another side to Mr. Mike that he shared with us, his love of music.

About once a week, he created a magical music experience. Technically, it was a quiet time to do our homework while listening to soft rock and country. But for me, I was transported. I curled myself onto Barry, Neil and Kenny’s enchanted voices, and was carried away from the alcohol-induced madness waiting for me at home, the constant reminder I was one of the poor black kids bussed from the ghetto into a privileged white neighborhood, and the reality, that, I did not fit into either of those worlds, being the only mixed-race kid (I knew of) at my school.

When Mr. Mike put on his music, my worries melted away.

Sometimes I sat there drifting off into space pretending to do my work. Sometimes the music helped me get through difficult homework. Sometimes I sang along in my head memorizing lyrics.

Schools of Life

Scientists define ‘life’ by the physical characteristics that all living matter share: cells, metabolism, reproduction, life cycles, growth, etc. Philosophers married the concept of our physical being (matter) with our ‘spiritual’ being (form), commonly referred to as the ‘soul.’ Linguists include time in its definition, where life is the “period of time between birth and death.” 

Existentialists instead focus on the experience of life, or, the awareness and meaning we make of our existence.

In 1980, my 10 year old self was becoming aware that I had a 'life' of my own, completely separate from my parents and other people. I was beginning to realize that I could make independent choices. Some of those choices led to unwanted consequences, like getting a paddle. Some led to feeling empowered, after jumping into the deep of a pool. Some enabled me to handle difficult challenges, finding comfort in Neil’s Love on the Rocks.

It would be several decades later before I fully understood the significance of this awareness and its implications. Through the years, it was as if I were collecting pieces of an unknown ‘what is life’ jigsaw puzzle. While I still can't tell you what 'life' is, (no one can), I have collected quite a few pieces. 

'Some will' piece

However, what didn't make sense in writing this, is why my thoughts kept going back to Mr. Mike’s class.

It just didn’t fit into the rest of the puzzle.

How did getting paddled, jumping in the deep end of the pool, and Kenny Rogers impact me during this critical stage of my self-development? What significance does it have today? And, how does it relate to experiencing life?

Then I played Kenny Roger’s Lady and it began to make sense.

Perhaps, as Scientists say, we are an organized collection of replicating cells, responding to stimuli, having metabolic functions, adapting to changing environments, and seeking to grow? Perhaps, as Philosophers say, we are all those things, but also have an ‘essence’ that enables us to feel, experience, and have awareness? Perhaps, as Linguists say, we are inextricably bound by time?

Perhaps WE are ALL these things.

However, Existentialists would note, that despite our similarities, WE do not all experience 'life' the same.

The truth is, while we may all share cell structures, an ‘essence’, and time constraints, WE do not share experiences.

Those are uniquely individual to each life.

That is, we will each experience 'life' differently.

Today, if I were to say what I learned from Mr. Mike’s 5th grade class, it would be:

Some people will never break a rule to avoid the paddle.

Some will never shed a tear listening to a love song.

Some will never jump in the deep end of the pool.

But, some will.

 Thank you Mr. Mikovich!

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Marcie is a #lifecoach, former #businessadvisor and #socialentrepreneur. She is the #author of "What I Know about Jumping: Real life lessons on finding the courage to make major life changes." For more info, visit her website