For Some, It’s Hard To Feel Thankful.

For many people, Thanksgiving is a joyous time with friends and family. A time to get together with the people you care about. A time to have fun, remember and share family stories, overeat and watch too much football.

But, for some, sadly, the holidays are a struggle. While thankful to be alive, they're sick or dealing with ill family members, struggling to pay bills, navigating relational issues, and many other problems.

Some have even been assaulted, abandoned, incarcerated, experiencing unemployment, lost a loved one, or going through a divorce.

Others can't travel home due to fires, floods, fighting, or war. And then there are those serving in the armed forces, putting themselves at risk while away from their families.

The holidays can be challenging for obvious reasons if you've lost a spouse, child, parent, or friend. If you are ill or a senior adult, you may be concerned that this is your last holiday.

Believe me, when I say I'm not trying to play Scrooge here or diminish the holidays in any way; I love the holidays.

But please, let's be mindful of those whose holidays are challenging.

When we re-engage with friends and co-workers after the holidays, we often want to ask questions like . . .

• Did you enjoy your holiday?
• How was your Thanksgiving?
• Did you spend time with your family for Thanksgiving?

We ask these kinds of questions even if our own celebration was lacking. Or, when we are asked these same questions, we answer dishonestly because we don't want to risk being truthful about our personal reality.

Let's be prepared and care enough to allow our friends, employees, co-workers, and even people we come in contact with daily to ease back into their daily routine after the holidays; give them some space to breathe and process what, for many, is a painful time.

Be available to be a friend. Be a stable, loving, and supportive presence because the holidays can be extremely painful for some of us.

The holidays trigger people in multiple ways and can bring up deep-rooted hurt. The part of us that's usually doing a good job of protecting is unable to keep up during the holidays.?

When exposed, we become vulnerable, and the best way to cover up hurt is with anger, frustration, or bitterness. It's pretty straightforward; people get crabby because they're hurting; it's an attempt to be less vulnerable.

We lash out at others, but inside we're angry at ourselves. Our anger is an attempt to cover up our pain and make it go away. Then the pain we're trying to cover up only becomes more painful, and around and around we go.

When this happens, we are NOT asking for pity or handouts; we're not snowflakes, it's just that the holidays, and perhaps THIS year, have been very challenging.

Be understanding; offer a kind, genuinely concerned ear to listen; listen to understand, then please listen some more. And when we're finished talking, let us know that you care and are here for us!