Some gentle life reminders...
Joe Hilton
Author, Speaker and Self-help Coach! Real, relatable SELF-HELP! Specialising in Personal Growth & Mental Wellbeing
In my first book I wrote a chapter called stop comparing yourself to others.?
For me, I spent my life comparing it to other peoples. I believed they were all in better jobs. They were more 'successful'. It was heavily career related for me. I felt everyone was doing better than me. Everyone else had their shit worked out…but me obviously.?
Rather than writing another blog saying how we should stop comparing (as we all do it from time to time, lets be honest) I’m going to leave you with some realisations to remember instead:?
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The inevitability of being human?
Remember everyone is dealing with their own shit. This is fact. Nobody is perfect. We all have insecurities. We all have a dark side. We all have regrets. We all make mistakes.??We all have challenges. We all have losses. Just like we all fart. It’s the inevitability of being human.?
The problem is we have painted a picture in society that everyone farts come out smelling of roses and with glitter dust so ours should to.?
Just a reminder this is not the case. Social media is a highlight reel. We often see peoples wins. But remember we ALL have challenges to. When we accept that, and remind ourselves we are all actually a little bit mental in some way shape or form, it makes life easier.?EVERY human being is facing challenges. You just might not know about them.
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Journal: What are some of MY challenges I could work on?
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There is always someone with ‘more’ if you look for it…?
If you actually look for long enough, you’re always going to find someone who has ‘more.’??There is always someone who has more money. There is always someone with a bigger house. There is always someone with a faster car. There is always someone who has travelled more. There is always someone tougher.?? It’s just the truth.?
If you don’t accept this begin to appreciate the things you do have; you will always be stuck here. And there is plenty of people out there who would dream of your life too.?Sometimes stopping to take stock of the good things in your life, can really help you to step away from the comparison trap.
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Journal: What are my greatest strengths??
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You can actually use other people for inspiration...
There I said it. That statement has probably offended some people more than my language. But it’s true. Rather than just being bitter all the time, why not actually be inspired??I see many people appear bitter at other people for their success. I have been envious of others at some stage and I am open to admitting it.
There are authors in this field who have wrote 20 + books. I might never ever reach that level. But why not be inspired by it??
?Instead of thinking, I can’t do it, why not think… how did they do it??
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They all started somewhere. My books might never be as good. They might never be best-sellers. There will always be better authors (it’s human inevitability) but there’s people who have done it.?These people are just human like us.
When looking at people, we should not have the attitude of “I don’t have it so neither can they”, often referred to as crab mentality. We should be looking at them and thinking, well this must mean it is possible for me.
Most people are willing to help and support you. So if its something you want to get better at. Reach out to these people.
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Journal:? Who inspires you?? / Who can you learn from??
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Focus on YOU?
?All you can ever do is the grand scheme of things is focus on your life. It sounds like typical self-help dross but it’s also true.?
In any given day, one person might win the lottery and another person might die. Some people will get their dream career break and someone will get sacked. Someone will be going on holiday in the sun and someone will be sat indoors with the pissing down rain outside. This is the reality.?
?All we can ever truly do is focus on us. What can we control? What can we take action on? What can we work on??For so long I was always pointing the finger outward. However, there is a saying, when you point the finger, there are three fingers pointing back at you.
We have to keep focus on ourselves and our personal growth.
?Journal:?What can I take control of in my own life?
If you want to read some more self-help. Check out my first book. There are some simple self-help tips in there and many supporting journal questions.
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PR & Marketing | Freelance
1 年Great article Joe ?? I compare myself to others all the time, so this is a good reminder to FOCUS ON MYSELF. Thanks for sharing
Chief Conversational AI Disruptor @ ChatFusion/ContactLoop | E&Y Entrepreneur of the Yr '08 | $150mn Exit ‘08 | AI Insights for Marketers & Sales Executives
1 年Joe Hilton Really nice share -- keep it coming. ??