Some of the Devil's Lunch Rewrite

 “So I am informed. Please tell me ‘what the hell’ I think I am doing in Africa as it has nothing to do with Defence and any connection is with the Foreign Office and the EU and Africa Minister as I need a reply to give the PM?”

“British Defence interests, sir.”

“The PM wants in no uncertain terms to have this operation quashed. I pointed out to him that he and Peres had asked me to start it and he virtually called me liar and said I was playing Politics to cause trouble in the Coalition. Now I’ve had my Leader telling me as strongly as I have ever heard him put anything to stop this ill thought out and half-baked activity.”

“We’re implementing their Policies, sir.”

“What you are implementing, Simon … I have no idea. The CIA have been told to stop all support for this operation and my job is on the line here and I would suggest everything you hold dear is as well if you don’t stop it.”

“Sir, you are funding this.”

“I might be, but that stops now! I don’t know why I agreed in the first place. The PM insisted that I ring the EU and Africa Minister to bridge build in his terms and your bonus will build in reverse terms as someone will pay for that call. Now what did you think you were doing?”

“My understanding sir was Sir Nicholas was passing a message from the PM asking for this to be set up. I told you and you authorised it providing it could not be tracked back to you so he created this trouble and how did they know at EU?”

“You had better check more than that Simon or you are back in Kensington and this time inside the cells. Do that whilst I ring the EU Minister!”

The Defence Minister rang his counterpart in the EU and Africa Ministry.

“Ah Jacob, so pleased I managed to catch you before you left for the afternoon.”

“I am usually here until late, Algenald as you well know. I think it is time you reeled in your aide, he obviously does not know how to behave in Civilised Society!”

“Just a few rough edges I think, Jacob these Security types tend to have them … must be all this running about chasing spies they do but of course with your French connections you would be aware of that.”

“Well he doesn’t seem to have caught many recently and I would expect that your team be caught before they cause any more embarrassment!”

“The instructions are being passed on as we speak. I was requested to start this operation although now the people concerned deny ever making the request … par for the course, I think.”

“Good and I hope this is the last of these little escapades!”

“Goodbye Jacob and I hope you don’t leak this conversation to the French as well!”

Algenald slammed the phone down cursing his aide and wondered whether to speak to Parky directly.

It was something he preferred not to do when the issues were moving to the boundary thus allowing himself plausible deniability but he decided to leave it to Simon who had received his bollocking and should behave now.

Simon sat at his desk wondering what to do. If he crossed the CIA, they were perfectly capable of double crossing him with a call to Security of his activities in interfering with CIA operations and betraying a double agent causing her death plus the Army General being uncovered in more ways than one as she cavorted with him whilst he talked in his sleep.

He could not cancel the operation and just claim he had but someone in Security had obviously leaked information to Peres who leaked it to Jacob Christie and when the operation continued he would be in even more trouble but if the CIA were told of his activities he would be in even more trouble with both the CIA and the Security Service.

Heading towards France we successfully manoeuvred through Holland, Belgium and back into the Netherlands again; eventually around Luxembourg before finally hitting France and heading South by some freak and the van which was by now leaking more than us as it waddled its way across Europe.

The Major had decided to sail now and just to confuse the hell out of Benny as Benny was driving carefully down the E15, looking for the E714 to Marseilles, the Major suddenly said to Benny, “stay on the E15 and head for Montpelier taking the A9 to Sete. We are going to Tangier as our destination has been changed!” The look on our faces, showed it should have been our underwear that had been changed instead and that part of our undercover activity was to hide the ever increasing stains!

“Guys, Sete has a direct sea route to Tangier,” said the Major, “and we need to stay out of major ports and airports in France and very few people even know Sete has a port or a direct route to Tangier,” which obviously included us, “I was told to alter the plans so you guys come in via Holland and then out from Sete to Tangier but not to tell you until we were near. They are paying and those are the orders. I get the same treatment you do so we go to Sete! We’ve hidden the real targets from you because we have more leaks than a water board.”

“So if we now believe you, Major we are taking a van to Tangier. Do we sail it down the coast as well? Major you have run out of lies!”

“We won’t be taking the van to Tangier. We’ll use the railway from Tangier Med to Tangier Old Port in the city when we arrive.”

We eventually sampled the ‘Venice of Lanquedoc’ and tasted moules frites (mussels and chips) which were excellent in ‘Quai Maximun Liacciardi’ and really a pleasure so after a pleasant day we met the ferry with tickets already booked, making us nervous again.

The Major was so relaxed now you would think he was on holiday as if nothing we had discussed mattered and that was all we had from our noble conniving leader.

We were travelling by Grandi Navi Veloci Ferries and the ferry came with air-conditioned rooms, TV, en-suite, air conditioning and a mini-bar with self-service, a la carte and even a snack bar. The only downside was it would dock at Tangier Med as opposed to the old Tangier Ferry Port but apparently it took 45 minutes to get to Tangier Ville, so all we had to do was pick up the next train at Tangier Med and head for Tangier itself.

If anything was needed to make it better Irish and Scooter seemed to be trying to be clean and honest which was frightening but nobody was going to recognise them clean and that gave us a chance to unwind and discuss how they discovered soap before we started the next trip in earnest.

The Ferry finally docked and within 50 minutes we were at Tangier Station. The Major hired the 2 Petit Taxis … one for him and Scooter and one for myself, Benny and Irish. We arrived at the hotel and left the Major still arguing with his Taxi driver while our driver virtually threw us out; roaring off at speed. We were staying at the Hotel Royal … Budget Hotel but clean and just down the hill were the Port Gates so it seemed a fair exchange. The Major once we had dumped our gear decided we needed a drink in the Medina.

Having got us all safely ensconced around some drinks, the Major said, “Now that we are in Tangier I can really tell you what is going on,” making a point of ignoring my face, “We are not going to Freetown, we are not going to Liberia, and at that point we got up and walked away leaving the Major talking to Scooter.

As the Major had only paid for one night we had no choice but to join him and Scooter and leave the hotel the following morning and walk down the hill and through the gates, “Picking our boat up,” said the Major as we walked through heading towards the outer harbour walls until we found ourselves facing a dhow moored just behind a small cruise liner, “There’s the boat,” said the Major looking at the dhow, “Benny knows engines and can drive virtually anything; Boy knows Computer Systems so he can work the dhow; Irish is lethal with guns providing they are automatic with no problem in killing people and I am here because I am a good planner who will do as he is told and so will Scooter.”

“I think I preferred it when you just lied, Major,” I said, “You telling the truth sounds more like ‘Snow White’ on cocaine and us as the singing dwarfs.”

“I have already forgotten half of what he said,” remarked Irish, “and apart from Boy and myself, I don’t trust anyone?” continued Irish. “No-one calls a boat ‘Sam Buck Who’; you might as well call it ‘The Lady Joon Wrong’.”

Sam Buck or Lady Joon was a Jalibut or Jelbut type Dhow, derived and enlarged from Shu’ai type Dhow with a fairly broad bottom and was about 35 meters long, with the traditional high area at the stem, sweeping low towards the bow and with the wide stern of the Shu’ai type design rather than the Boum with the lateen sail already secured fore and aft but the high section at the stern gave us a steering area and some crew space in the cabin underneath the top covering. I had never seen anything like it but it seemed a fairly simple craft to sail.

There were hatches in the deck and some effort had been made to make the boat liveable although I could see us just dossing down on the deck in a sleeping bag in the heat.

The Major now produced a Chinese guy called Mr Hoo like a conjurer producing a rabbit!

“Welcome to the ‘Sam Buck Who’,” said Mr Hoo.

“We prefer to call her ‘The Lady Joon Wrong’,” said Irish.

So now we had Hoo Wong and Joon Wrong with a general impression amongst us that this was all ‘Wrong’ and we were all a bunch of Wronkers which was probably true.

“Mr Hoo’s speciality,” said the Major, “is teaching people to fight.”

“Who runs the boat then Major, Bruce Lee?”

“I don’t know how much diesel is under these hatch covers,” said the Major ignoring my comments as usual, “but somewhere on this boat is also Semtex, armaments, fresh water and a whole host of gear, so please don’t mistake the Semtex for Toilet Cleaner although it works under water!”

“They are called Heads, Major on a boat,” exclaimed Mr Hoo who was already dripping saliva.

“You can call them ‘Tales’ for all I care Mr Hoo and Captain Boy can join you for those long technical conversations of an evening. Mr Hoo has said there are showers here but with you lot we should be ‘OK’ as most of you will do without them and settle for a dip in the morning.”

“The first going in is likely to be you, Major if you don’t shut up,” said Benny.

“Well don’t swim at night unless you like shark feeding, up close, and not after the heads are flushed and not when you can see fins, as it can get difficult explaining the difference between friendly and unfriendly fish to the dead and before Boy starts with the questions … the Dhow is wooden built and don’t ask me what the draft is, I thought you got them in restaurants … I don’t know sod all about sailing and a draft to me usually means ‘do your flies up’ and I don’t know what the engine is and the dinghy will come in at about $60,000 dollars so treat it kindly, it is worth more than you will ever be! In the meantime we be sailing in due course and the main question is what do we do with an illustrious bunch like yourselves who end up on a Dhow that is 115 foot long with a fast rigid inflatable lying on its davits? The Dhow is sized and shaped liked the Somalia Pirates use,” so are you Major when we have finished!

The Major turned at this point and headed down the gangway.

“Going far Major?” I asked.

“Mind your own business, Boy!” and with those dulcet tones the Major was down the gangway so fast his arse was spitting flames like a Formula 1 car on starting.

“Any idea why the Major is abandoning ship so soon, Mr Hoo? We haven’t sunk yet have we as we are still upright and breathing something like air?”

“No idea, Boy. He’s certainly moving fast and already out of the Port by the look of it. No idea what he is up-to!”

We spent the next few hours talking to Mr Hoo and looking around the boat when we heard the Major shouting and staggering back to the ‘Lady’ and he had certainly tanked up ready with his fighting fuel, staggering along the wall until he reached us when he finally staggered up the ramp at the third attempt I stopped Benny from applying the boot as he came up. I’d thought Chinese people were supposed to be inscrutable but Mr Hoo looked as if he had wondered into an Asylum, where the inmates had taken over.

Already people were hanging over the stern of the cruiser in front of us and standing on jetty staring as the Major shouted at the top of his voice but what had suddenly flipped him into this ‘mental nut-case’ act? By now the rest of us were laughing like drains and then we heard the dutiful Scooter whose DA now looked like it had taken too many drinks as well and collapsed, say, “Major, you promised to stay off the whisky and what have you mixed it with to get like this?”

“What else do we need to learn,” I asked Mr Hoo, “as we are now on an operation led by a drunk.”

For every Moroccan Security Agent around and no doubt there were a few, our main hope was that they didn’t speak ‘drunk’.

Mr Hoo however produced a quick solution, “Throw the Major into the ‘V’, let me find a bucket, fill it with water and thrown it over him until he sobers up and leave him until then.” Scooter managed to get the Major onto the ‘V’ before Irish this time, kicked him overboard.

We needed to move this boat out as soon as possible, and I had never seen this boat before nor did we have all the supplies in with most of our kit and stuff strewn around so taking the boat out was a disaster but staying here wasn’t much better since something had definitely happened to send the Major headless although it could have just been finally finding the boat and having some money left, “What is your real job, Mr Hoo?”

“I am here to teach your team how to defend themselves with their hands!”

“I should be a challenge for you, Mr Hoo,” said Irish, “I daren’t even look at my hands but whose idea was it that we needed a ‘Respected and Ancient’ Chinese Gentlemen to train us?”

“Irish at my age, I don’t make frequent and unnecessary movements so my goal here is that you don’t either and if you can defend yourself without weapons you don’t think you are unarmed and also my instructions will help to release energy, movement and re-coordinate your mind with your hands, feet and to relax so reuniting your brain with your hands means neither shakes. My role here is not to fight you, but to help stop you fighting each other so you can concentrate on defending yourselves.”

“If you can do that Mr Hoo then you’ll have everyone’s blessing!” said Boy.

Mr Hoo pushed a large bunch of papers into my hands and pointed to the section detailing the boat design.

“Apart from wiping my bottom on these, Mr Hoo what do you expect me to do with them on this warm Moroccan Night?”

Once again I had the impression that the Major had lied through his dentures again; Mr Hoo was no accident, and knew more than we did which wasn’t difficult.

“Mr Hoo,” said Irish, “It looks a large boat to manage?”

“Irish,” said Mr Hoo, “we can sail with the same sails all the time. We take them up or down electronically. Controls are on both sides, and I can also control them from the cabin but I don’t want you guys running around in there pushing switches. This boat is actually built to order so the boat is not some half-witted escapade dreamed up by a bunch of idiots who should have been strangled at birth although the project might be. It has some little differences from a traditional dhow as well. The hatch before the Steering Hut is the main entrance to the cooking and storage areas with heads aft and the way to the bunks but please ‘be sick in the heads’ not the bunks and there will be enough bags by the bunks, if you can’t make it.”

“Who sleeps where, Mr Hoo?”

“The Major and Scooter will bunk in the same area by the forward store. Benny and Irish get the middle set, Boy and myself get the drop down from the Steering Area. For information, there are wall compartments in the steering area and the back storage area, which I assume we will use for weapons. Scooter’s role on board as we don’t need a cabin boy will be on comm and someone else beside myself who can steer. Benny is basically the Engine guy, Irish on weapons, me … trying to remember how to smile benevolently at you so who is going to double up for me on the steering and who doubles up for Benny on engines and Irish on weapons?”

“I can do the Comm, Boy, said Scooter and so can the Major without the booze!”

“You are his minder Scooter but we will hang him out to dry physically if he starts again.”

“Mr Hoo, when do you feel we can take the Lady out for her drink!”

“The Major was supposed to sign some papers today and I need to find out whether he did since we were getting the arms tonight. With the Major comatose I don’t know what he has done or didn’t do so I don’t know what the situation is.”

“Scooter. Are there any armaments on board and if so where are they and the ammo?”

“The weapons were due for delivery tonight, Boy and were to go into the main storage until we left harbour. The Major would have signed for them and taken delivery himself!”

“Could the Major have drunk them, Scooter?” said Irish.

“I don’t think so Irish, he hit the bottle at my guess just after he left us although he could have been limbering up earlier but the missing hours are the issue for me … he has that ability to look sober until he really is drunk so I think he wouldn’t have known when the delivery was due after a few!”

“Just a minute Scooter. You knew when the delivery was?”

“Of course I knew Boy, the Major told me when the delivery was due. I work for him!”

“Did he also tell you what the delivery would be Scooter?”

“Sorry Boy, with the Major I usually ignore it as he drones on … it is easier and automatic. Someone will be meeting the Major here tonight and they will deliver some boxes but it needs the Major’s signature and they have a photograph of the Major to prove identity. They want his name on those documents.”

“Benny, Irish, can you go with Scooter and get the Major, bring him here?”

“If it is the same to you Boy, I think there will be a bucket somewhere with some water; I’ll apply that first and leave him there until we need him!”

“Mr Hoo, I don’t care if you just use the bucket without the water. Benny can you check the fuel?”

“Will do, Boy”

“Any arguments let’s have them now because I have enough of today and we need to get any problems out of the way?”

“Backup for me on Weapons, Boy?” added Irish.

“I’ll back you up, Irish,” said Benny, “if you can teach me not to shoot myself and the rest!”

“All agreed guys, and shout now, or go do it! Go and sober the Major and find out where he has the money so he can’t buy more?”

“I’ve got his stuff, Boy; he can’t get at any more now!” said Scooter.

With a degree of speed hitherto unseen the crew finally came alive. Three of them piled into a Petite and went off to the flee pits whilst Mr Hoo and myself decided to have another prowl around the Steering Area. We seemed to stand around for hours with neither deliveries or the guys arriving, “Still no deliveries, Mr Hoo.”

“Might be something coming, Boy.”

We stood there for another while waiting for a truck to arrive, and then suddenly I realised that we had to move fast as a thought was starting to appear in the back of my head.

“Mr Hoo! Can we get the hatch cover off and the bulkhead doors open to put this stuff in the forward storage and do it pronto, when they turn up!”

“What’s a bulkhead, Boy? I can at guess at forward and sides, but I am just a country boy at heart?” joked Mr Hoo, looking at my face.

Mr Hoo then smiled, “things that bother me Boy are when is the ventilation going to come on and when are you going to ask me about the keys for this storage? I designed this boat subject to other people playing about with it after they forced me into retirement but there are no keys!”

The Petite cab arrived alongside and Scooter got out. “the hotel told us to pack up and get out!”

“The Major’s antics I assume, Scooter!”

“Yes, Boy we weren’t the only ones to get the Major and we had to pay them off to stop them calling the Police plus 2 days money for the damage he did in the hotel. Benny and Irish will be in another Petite carrying the rest of the luggage once they have finished clearing the rooms!”

“Mr Hoo, will you dump water on the Major. He seems to be moving around and is obviously used to Scooter knotting him down … tie them tighter next time, Scooter … loyalty to a drunk won’t keep us alive! Did you manage to find any keys on him, Scooter? Go with Scooter, Mr Hoo I want those keys found. Everything is locked in the Storage and we have no keys to anything?”

I stood there keeping an eye on the road for Benny and Irish to arrive while Scooter and Mr Hoo were double checking the Major’s pockets.

Finally they came back as did Benny and Irish.

I looked at Irish standing there, “We can’t find any keys for the boat, Irish.”

“Funny you should say that, Boy?” said Irish, “As we were leaving and trying to settle up,” they said, “you also owe us for the Safe Rental and charged us another week’s money. We had to pay it to get the stuff out of the safe and in the safe was not only 2 bunches of keys but another stack of cash the Major was sitting on that we didn’t know about!”

“How much do you reckon is there?”

“On a quick count ￡20,000 plus 20,000 Francs. I don’t know where he got it from but he didn’t have it in the UK or France so it had to come from somewhere here in Tangier. Must be why he got so happy and decided he could let loose! Surprised he came back!”

“Check out the keys on the Storage; stick it in there for now until we can sort it out unless there is a safe somewhere on board, which wouldn’t surprise me given this boat.”

“Funny you should mention that, Boy,” said Mr Hoo, “In the rear hatchway at the bottom of the hatch there is a catch. The space underneath is just above the heads at the back of the boat and when you swing the bottom up of the rear hatchway there is a safe with a combination. With the hatch full no-one could find the catch and if they did the weight would keep it flat. Worth a look?”

We headed aft opened the rear hatch, feeling around we found the catch on the side of the hatch; springing up the floor and there was the safe.

“What is the default combination, Scooter?”

“1,2,3,4, Boy,” said Scooter.

“Thought you’d know, Scooter. You were around here earlier I am damn certain. You knew about the money didn’t you, Scooter?”

“Standard number, Boy. There is a button on the inside. You press that and switch the dial to what we want then release the button.”

“Sounds simple enough, what number do we want.”

“Set it to 3286, Scooter and put all the money in it; I know you are carrying some of it…. I want what you took out as well…. just put it back or Mr Hoo and I will strip you to get it!”

“I was just covering readies, Boy I wasn’t stealing it.”

“Irish, Benny. Escort Scooter below and don’t forget his socks, shoes, pants and the inside of his mouth. If you want to check his arse, that is up to you. Once you get it out of him put it in the safe.”

“Alright,” said Scooter producing rolls of notes like a Magician on speed.

The money went into the safe.

“Before you close the safe Mr Hoo, check that combination works.”

The look on Scooter’s face told me it wouldn’t work … the same habits as his Master. Skimming, conning, lying, sweating and reverting to type by the minute; likely to make a run with the money using instinct not intelligence.

He wouldn’t do so now as Mr Hoo checked and said, “the combination doesn’t work.”

“I want you out of this area now Scooter; you don’t help yourself and do a runner. Mr Hoo and I will know the combination … you and the Major won’t so bugger off now. Go see to your Boss!” Once Scooter and the rest were out of the way, I said, “Change it to a pint of beer, Mr Hoo, they wouldn’t sink that low,” and the number was changed to 0374!”

“Still need those deliveries, Boy.”

“We can struggle through, Mr Hoo. Let’s hope no-one has put a sticker on the boat that reads if out please deliver to cruise liner next door.”

“I don’t think so, Boy and this is either a very small arms delivery on the way or it is my personal stuff.”

A small almost ‘donkey cart’ with a Chinese cyclist appeared at the gangway and Mr Hoo in a surprising demonstration of speed headed down the plank like there was really no tomorrow ... unloading and shouting for Irish and Benny to help and just finishing, when a lorry appeared and our ‘donkey cart’ became a ‘bat out of hell’.

Irish and Benny were still on the jetty and now Scooter did a ‘bat of hell’ impression arriving besides them and shouting for help to unload as the lorry stopped. How many different Agendas we had here I will never know as the team started to cart gear on board.

Mr Hoo handled the driver with a few words, waving francs as the guys started attacking his lorry and stripping it.

The driver was demanding more money claiming he had not been paid and Mr Hoo paid him 1000 francs which seemed to calm him down a little but then he started shouting as the guys continued stripping the lorry and dumping the stuff on the deck.

“What is going on, Mr Hoo?” I shouted.

“I have no idea, Boy! I arranged for some treats to be delivered. I don’t know what this lorry is delivering … the one before was mine. Scooter thought this one was the arms but it is frozen food and quite a bit of it but no-one wanted a signature so I am just paying for it.”

“Give him some sterling it must be for someone else and our guys have moved in and started stripping it?” Mr Hoo produced sterling this time and carried on putting notes into his hands until he stopped shouting and picked up a calculator, showing the figure at Mr Hoo, who then said in bad French, “allow for a 1000 Francs, we have already paid you?”

The driver produced a new figure and Mr Hoo paid that with a couple of hundred more than asked and he took off with very little left on the lorry having stopped us from taking that.

“I am wondering,” said Mr Hoo, “whether that delivery was a top-up for the Cruiser next door and he got the wrong gangway, but we paid him; he took off and so did we.”

“Where are the arms that the Major has to sign for and what else is going on here? Do you mean to say Mr Hoo that all of this unloading is so you can have some treats and raiding the Cruise Liner’s top-up?”

“Yes Boy, I like my treats!”

“Mr Hoo, what state is the boat in?”

“Well Boy, I didn’t know what they might have changed after they retired me but it looks like they have left my ‘baby’ pretty much as she was although some things have worn out but Benny and I can get them working; my little man on his bike dumped off some electronics from a local contact and we can fix things!”

“Mr Hoo, before you go tend to the Major again can you tell something of your and the boat’s history because you are obviously recently reconciled lovers and I think we need to start really finding out things since the Major lied non-stop from the word go and he is just a finished hulk laid at rest - looking at him - although why he should go now after getting us here ‘God alone knows’?”

“I don’t know either, Boy. I know he is close to some shadowy figure called Parky and is totally reliant on him and I know this Parky is connected to someone called Bishop and that he is controlled by this Defence Minister … Algenald Matthews … who seems to be coming up again and again like a bad meal.”

“What else, Mr Hoo and I know Bishop?”

“My colleagues had one important mission destroyed by one of Matthews’ Aides and now having sponsored this from within Matthews’ Department he is trying to destroy it. I admit to a bit of dirty dealing from the CIA - part revenge for the mission your people killed and the Chinese lady with it and we forced this Security Aide to bypass the Minister; lie to Parky to get this mission started with us cutting in once you were in Tangier. Your Major is a very odd guy. He used to run a death squad in Malaya and Bishop screwed up an operation to kill someone big’s daughter and then tried to kill him and Scooter who is more than he pretends. Maybe the latest sobering up for the Major if he isn’t drowned in vomit and water might give us some idea of what happened because I am damned certain it wasn’t meant for the Major to lose it like that.”

“Benny,” I shouted, “did you check the fuel levels and make sure we have full tanks?”

“Boy, I am still trying to find where they fill the engines,” said Benny, “The tanks must be down here at the back end, and I think just past the freezers but before I start pouring I need to know what I am pouring into!”

“It sounds like the back of the boat,” said Mr Hoo, “but there are two pipes up here you use, just aft of the hatch. You, my hair-brained friend are trying to pour diesel into the freezers. Those holes are for coolant and the other is for something called water. The fuel intake is up here!”

“Fine Mr Hoo, I will be up!”

“We were set up to fail, weren’t we, Mr Hoo?”

“I checked my systems while this was going on and there is some stuff from my guys; feedback a few minutes ago from one of Parky’s team who works for us. Your Parky guy got a call from the Major after your money didn’t go into the bank accounts so besides the cash the Major gave you there is nothing - it was stopped. Parky told the Major, money would be available somewhere but the Major knew from this he was finished with no way back and blew some of it on booze. The ‘Sam’ was always going to be used and I was flown out of retirement because I designed it and no one at short notice can learn what this boat can do. You are due to get weapons tonight from your Security guys and it is odds-on that you will get more than you bargained for soon afterwards as it is a set-up!”

“Up until now, Mr Hoo I didn’t trust anyone. Now, apparently, I have to trust you!”

“Don’t tell the lads yet. We will be paying you and the money the Major got is due to the team without arguments but already we’ve spent a lot of it. We also have some things up our sleeves once closer to our targets. One other thing, Boy, we are being watch by quite a few people hanging around and they I feel are waiting for something to happen. Can you quietly let the guys know that we could get hit very quickly and I want that gangway ready to be ditched at a moment’s notice so check the knots on it and make sure they’re loose and get Benny working on those engines.”

I looked around for the rest of the crew and finally found aft, “Scooter, Irish … Mr Hoo thinks there is a set-up after we take the weapons. Benny is topping up the fuel now, aren’t you, Benny? Once the weapons are on board we leave quietly and quickly! We need those stores below as well. Once they deliver we will move around the Cruiser and stop there if anyone is around. Then once we’re past the breakwater we head out. I have found some charts here and we can use them to get ourselves away in the dark. Can you loosen the ropes on the gangway?”

“Boy, I can hear some engines coming towards us, just one lorry for the moment not a group of cars,” said Irish.

“Someone get the Major up straight up; use a Malaria excuse and say he staggered and went overboard. As soon as he signs get the weapons on board and don’t waste time putting them away … we start moving as they drive off and ditch the gangway. This whole thing stinks so as they drive off we move out into the water. They have been told we are suckers so they won’t expect anything.”

We heard the engine coming closer and closer until it stopped on the dock opposite the boat. An English voice said, “I’ve got a delivery for you; just need a signature from someone called ‘Major something or other’?”

“The Major is suffering from an old Malaria Bug and when we took our eyes off him he got feverish and fell overboard so I’m afraid he isn’t really fit; can anyone of us sign?”

“No! Sorry it has to be the Major.”

“The Major won’t even know what he is signing so why don’t you wait a few days and deliver again!”

“The delivery has to be made tonight; can’t delay. Can you get the Major up here?”

“Irish, Benny, Scooter … get the Major over here to sign?”

They managed to hold the Major up with two hands under his arms and another on his shoulders in front of the guy who looked at the Major and said, “he’ll have to do!”

Scooter took a pencil, put it between the Major’s fingers and with a long practised look took his hand through a scrawl he knew well as a signature appeared. Once signed people appeared at breakneck speed to get the boxes on board back into the lorry and off. No sooner were they were off the boat and driving we ditched the gangway overboard and with Mr Hoo steering and Benny gentling the engines along we started to move slowly out and then parked ourselves just out of sight resting against the smaller cruise liner with only the other cruise liner on the opposite side of the Port able to see us directly and we were drown out in the noise from both liners.

“Can the rest of you put the Major back in the ‘V’,” I said, “I can hear a convoy on the way!”

The cars stopped where we had been and then passed the Cruise Liner and sat at the end of the pier.

The idea was probably just to machine gun us if we tried to pass, but they did not know whether we had passed the pier head and breakwater already heading out towards the deep water so we would wait each other out.

So as long as we sat here they could watch from the pier head until all ‘hell froze over’.

We would have to rely on Mr Hoo and Benny to get us out of the Port on the quiet engines … a little trick of the ‘Lady’ or ‘Sam’ as Mr Hoo called it was electricity from the batteries to run the engines in silent mode. In the meantime I needed to start looking at the charts.

What unnerved me however was the English voice delivering the weapons before they raided us.

“Never trust anyone, Boy,” said Mr Hoo, “that way you never get let down.”

“How do you live like that, Mr Hoo?”

“Constantly, Boy … constantly!”

“Who is trying to betray us now, Mr Hoo? I am loosing track. Do they draw lots or toss dice for whose turn it is next?”

“I am not totally sure who arranged this one, Boy. The Defence Minister if my information is correct works through some ‘knobs’ in the city and Parky’s team. The EU and Africa Minister works through the French Intelligence Service but this seems to be a combination of Security and the French Intelligence Service which I imagine must have been Sir Nicholas Peres because he is the only one with links to Security, Top Government and these two Ministers so I think both the Defence and Africa guys are jumping to his instructions and you now have a ‘cabal’ trying to destroy you rather than just one guy so let’s hope they communicate as well as the rest of your bunch and we should be safe!”

“So you are telling me Mr Hoo that we now have other Players in the field trying to scuttle their own team and they are all involved with the UK Security Service as well as knowing what is going on and we are a mere bagatelle in the middle and certainly in the middle of someone’s ‘brown hole’?”

“Boy”, said Irish, “it might be better to leave the arms on the deck in case we are caught and need to break open the ammunition and arm the weapons!”

“Irish, I don’t think we can really start World War IV between 2 cruise liners – someone will be bound to notice even only if we miss. The problem in picking up speed and moving fast means we could also both; lose the boxes and the Major over the side. We would then be heading down the coast with no weapons although losing the Major would be an asset. Put them in the Cabin and there is the ‘aft’ storage that could take some.”

Benny and Irish started to move the arms, as we heard the Moroccans shouting something … the English guy … nowhere around. Britain may be good for ‘shit all’ but we certainly know how to piss off countries.

“Have you seen the West African coast before, Mr Hoo?”

“No Boy, just the Middle East and that was just hanging around offshore so going down the West African coast should be a breeze.”

“Given that hurricanes start there I agreed but sitting here like a bunch of idiots who can’t even run up a sail seems to be the current plan.”

“The ‘Sam’ is an easy boat to sail. None of the people on it have ever been able to sail and I was joking about climbing the mast. It is all electric and I’ll tell you another time about all the things built in but climbing the mast and manually hauling on sails will not happen.”

“Any plans for moving, Mr Hoo?”

“Benny is turning the engines over to charge up the batteries and once out we use sail and lose ourselves in the Straights. A couple of hours of brooding, complaining, and blaming ourselves looks to be our first course and then we cut out before the sweet trolley arrives. In the meantime Irish is checking the weapons but you’re right about not testing them on the Dock and the Cruise Ships.”

“There is still the problem of our ‘Noble Sickening Leader’ who from the vomiting sounds is entering the first stage of stability. I’ll take the lookout.”

“So will I, Boy,” said Mr Hoo, “my wants are few and deep. Benny, fire us up quietly just on electric and any signs of alarm shut down; we are aiming to move across to the other Cruise Liner so gently, please, quietly, and don’t ram it.”

Courtesy of Benny we crept away from the small Cruiser whilst aiming for the other Cruiser and leaving the bright lights and noise for the lights and noise of the other Cruiser which should destroy the night vision of anyone watching us including ourselves as we couldn’t look back or forward but see a glare lighting us up like a Christmas tree.

We sat there for hours with Benny turning the engines over until the batteries were on full charge and we then checked the illumination levels of the lights – something else that we didn’t know we could do as we watched the vehicles at the end of the right hand side of the pier until a boat suddenly started to move towards the open water and we waited to see if they opened fire on it before Mr Hoo shouted to Benny, “start the electrics.”

We quietly moved away from the Cruiser and just feet away from the pier as we moved up and out into the breakwater behind the other boat before anything changed.

Benny put some more power on the electric and as we slipped out creeping up the left hand side of the Dock eventually made the middle of the channel and raised the sails to become a dhow.

It was fairly obvious that apart from the Major who was already out for the count the rest of the crew needed to get some sleep. I had us aiming at 6° by 36° once we got out of the port which should just keep us off the Spanish coast and I hadn’t really turned anything on since I didn’t know what I was turning on and Benny now he wasn’t losing Trailors seem to have found a degree of responsibility although that was about as reliable as Scooter’s honesty and the Major staying sober.

Talk about learning by exhaust gases and the smell from mine was immense … any more nerves and I would be propelling the boat myself and I could hear the Major from here but there were a few miles before we needed to turn to Port to start down the coast. It would give me a chance to try and find the GPS and instructions.

I would probably be stuffed if the Straights weren’t straight, but Benny having found where the fuel went had topped the engines up and I had found the gauges for that as well so I could see how much fuel we had.

If I could just work out how the Compass, Latitude and Longitude worked I would probably be onto a winner but I gave up in the end and asked Mr Hoo.

“How do I switch the GPS on Mr Hoo?”

“It is over here Boy. That is an auto Pilot once it is set on, and it links to the GPS which we need to search for its 3 satellites beforehand or it won’t know where we are and I have set it up for this area and time which should give us an accurate position. We just dial in the destination so let’s turn it on.”