The Solution Feeling: 'I was made for this'.

I’m having a very intense pinch me moment.

In 2021 I wrote an extensive mission statement, centered around mental health. How I don’t really see anyone in the industry having a viable solution. How the term ‘mental health’ as we know it implies there’s something wrong with us. (There’s not).

How all these companies are now aware that they need to address ‘mental health’, and they have the budgets to do so, but have no real idea how to effect change, because the corporate structure is inherently designed to not support our wellbeing, as well intentioned as they might be.

Everyone knows this. No-one knows how to fix it.

I have a lot of opinions.

Because I think if there’s a department I can now claim myself to be an expert in, it’s this one.

Over these last 6 years I’ve been writing openly about my own journey, examining myself deeper and more honestly, and having many conversations with so many others who are navigating their own journey into the darkness.

When we start talking about depression, and suicidal ideation, and fears around money, and worthiness and success, and panic attacks, and anxiety, and taking medication, and how ridiculous our society is, and OMG the price of eggs…. it resonates, on some level, with everyone.

It penetrates, because there is no-one who is not affected by how F-ed up our world is.

Some of us can handle it better at times than others, but what I’m coming to learn is that these intrusive thoughts that live inside my head, have a very similar voice within most other people out there. And, what we’re seeing increasingly more of, is the inability to live in this world with any semblance of sanity.

Whether this resonates for you directly or not, there will be someone in your life who does. So many professional relationships I’ve had connect so much deeper at this core issue, compared to any other topic.

Being a human is hard.

And there is so much lostness and despair from parents or friends who so desperately want to help a loved one, but do not know how.

I could go on and on.

This pinch me moment, is a result of recent conversations with a client to build a solution to it all. One that I believe could actually be helpful.

I texted them this morning, and said that I literally feel like I was made to build this.

I meant it.

And that exact feeling, is part of the solution.

I don’t think there’s anything ‘wrong’ with us as humans. This societal system we are living in is the problem. We are built for connection, and literally every single one of our social structures are built for the opposite.

"It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” - Krishnamurti

This mass revolt in the form of panic attacks and depression and everything in between, is quite literally our bodies telling us, “No. This needs to change.”

As a society we are dead inside. The lights flicker, but nobody’s home.

We forgot how to be alive. We forgot how to be turned on by the beauty in every breath and the miracle of life.

I’ve written in many essays that for me it all centers around this feeling of purpose, of being in touch with my creative power, of having a deep sense of self awareness, based in community, in connection to others.

It’s not rocket science. It’s not easy. But it is possible.

Over the course of 5 years, I have gone from not wanting to be alive, to being SO totally and utterly inspired and in love with this life I can’t even. Every day to me is total magic. Not easy. But magic.

As this business stands in front of me, the feeling that comes with being able to help others on the same journey within a much faster timeframe… I don’t think the words ‘sense of purpose’ really do it justice.

My current experience is that every moment of the last 5-6 years (and beyond) has been so divinely orchestrated to get me to this place, with every ounce of information, knowledge, and experience I need, to affect real impact. To actually build something which might be useful to those who are in the same spot I was all those years ago.

I haven’t found a more fulfilling feeling yet, than getting to be of service to another.

THAT is the feeling that I believe is available for us all. And it’s that very feeling that I believe is the solution.

To be SO excited about what is unfolding, to feel such a deep sense of ‘I’m in the right place, at exactly the right time’, getting to use the gifts and skillset I have been given. If y’all could feel about your life what I currently feel about mine, it’s game over. Well really… beginning.

And there’s so many components to this. It’s the orchestration of how my life is currently set up, with all the things I know are important to me, and that I need to prioritise in a day.

I’m still pitching for other business. As excited as I am about this opportunity, I’m still aligning it to my own values of how do I want to work? What’s important to me? My personal practice is to find equanimity even when things get really good.

Because I see the value in working with multiple clients simultaneously, leveraging this pretty insane network I have, I’m positioning myself for fractional recruiting and business development for purpose driven brands —>: https://www.wholecollective.net/professional-services.

Getting paid to connect people. What a no brainer.

For companies that I really believe in. Duh.

This aspect was also part of the 2021 mission doc. I have literally been designing the current version of my life for years. Turning on to this creative power that lives inside of me, is a feeling of HOLY SH*T!

I did this. I made this.

There was never anything ‘wrong’ with me. I just wasn’t buying the pill they’re selling about all the things I supposedly needed to make me happy.

How do I build a career and life that sustains and nourishes me at all levels of my being? This has been a journey in figuring that out for myself.

There will never be one panacea to anything. Not this job, or client, or visa, or relationship, or home that I love, or money in the bank, or car that I drive, or clothes that I wear.

None of that can singularly fill the hole. Because if I attach meaning to anything in that way, I will most certainly lose it.

In this moment, I am optimistic about it all. Because I have too much evidence now to prove otherwise.

On Sunday morning the rains cleaned everything upon high holy. I was walking around Venice at sunrise. Face in the first jasmine of the season, the birds were so very loud. I stood in the middle of the road as the sun came up with the thunder clouds and wept as they wept upon me.

We’ve all been feeling this intensity in the city. But as with everything, the rains reminded me that rejuvenation and rebirth is a GUARANTEED part of the death cycle.

I was in a deep death cycle these last few weeks.

And, as I’m waking up to a new wave of possibilities this morning, with the bells of a new moon that just landed in Aquarius, which feels hella on time, I’m being reminded that ALL of this has already been taken care of.

If that mission doc and dream of intention can be held by my higher power for 4 years, why would I think the ball is going to get dropped now?

Showing up to the next indicated action. Again and again and again.

That’s all this is.

These last few weeks I got smacked into the deepest state of surrender I have known yet.

Yes my visa expires in May, yes there’s still some financial curiosity, I still don’t know if I’ll be able to stay in the US…. and yet these questions don’t matter.

I have today. That’s it. And those intentions can change 100 times in a day.

I started this week with a long list of folks I wanted to reach out to. And I thought I was supposed to run 300 mph and get everything done yesterday, and this has all been a holy practice in breathing, and I’m not running out of time. More information is arriving. An email arrived in my inbox last night which made me smile, confirming exactly this.

I was made for this.

The rug isn’t going to get pulled.

I was literally made for this.

Trust the feeling Hol.

One foot in front of the other.

The rebirth always comes. Some cycles are just longer than others. That’s all.

Happy New Moon all.

Dream big. It’s TOTALLY worth it.

—Holly Gottlieb (Founder, Whole Collective)