Solitude & stillness vs running … 10 days of silence

I have always taken some kind of pride and joy in running. Having run multiple marathons, I always felt comfortable of going through tough physical and mental exercise. My entire belief was shattered during last few days when I went through a 10 day Vipassana program at Bodh Gaya (Dhamma Bodhi). An absolute journey of self-revelation which helps to peel of layers and guide to a state of equanimity – That’s how I would describe Vipassana.

 With the COVID outbreak in 2020, running took a backseat for me. One of the challenges I constantly face is “FOCUS”. How to maintain focus on something for long. Few suggestions from colleagues and I started to practice meditation. Initially just started with 15 minutes a day and tried to push it to 30 min after some time. It is where I realized how tough it is to keep our mind calm and still. How tough it is to focus just on “breathing”. In short – “How tough it is to be in Present”. 

After practicing it for more than 12 months with just little success, I wanted to dig deep into it and that’s where I learnt about Vipassana. Registered myself for a course at Dhamma Bodhi in Bodh Gaya (https://bodhi.dhamma.org/).

Here are some of my learnings:

1.    Solitude: It’s not easy. It takes a lot of mental strength to be calm, quiet and be in present. All my belief in my mental strength was shattered. The mind would keep jumping like a monkey. From one thought to other to the next and to the next. There is no end to it. But even a 2 min of concentration on just breathing gives immense satisfaction. Trying to repeat the 2 min cycle is tough and the obdurate nature of mind comes alive. A run, then a march, a walk and then a saunter - The mind goes its own way, but it’s worth every bit of try. Keep reminding it every now and then to come back to the 2 min cycle.

2.    Stillness: Sitting at one place with no movement is tougher than a full marathon. Yes, it’s true. There were many students who were attending this course for the third or fourth time. I was so embarrassed to see their straight posture, strength and calmness. I could not sit in one position for more than 30 min after the second day. Frequent twitching, changing my posture, hoping for a back rest and waiting for the bell – that’s how I was going through the ordeal. And there I saw other students sitting in one posture for multiple hours – They could literally hold a water pot on their head and even a drop would not fall. I am just happy about the fact that I was able to make it through the 10 days.

3.    Silence: 10 days of absolute silence. Approx. 220 Hours of complete silence (allowed to speak on the last day). According to me, this experience surpasses every other achievement. With every Day of Silence, you are forced to think more inwards. You start feeling more responsible for everything in your life. The constant inclination to blame the external world recedes with every Day of Silence. We hold on to multiple layers of deleterious belief and the silence helps to discern and peel off few layers.

4.    Equanimity: Three of the learnings which was repeated every day was to

• Maintain equanimity, calmness
• Avoid craving
• Avoid anger

Being in the corporate world with desires and ambitions, I am not sure how easy it will be to avoid any craving or anger. But one of the things which can certainly be imbibed is to maintain equanimity and calmness in life. 10 days of silence helps to take the first step in that direction.

 5.    Meditation – There are many ways to meditate and multiple courses available. Its only more than a year that I have tried to build this habit and a long way before I can even be marginally good at it. But for me the biggest take away is “Being in Present”. The 10 days of Vipassana with no connection to the external world, forces you to be in the "present" moment. It helps you to walk into a zone which is devoid of any anger about past or anxiety about future.

For me running was also a form of meditation. It was also a way to focus and be in the moment. But what it lacks is stillness of mind and body. A lot of time we see meditation through a very puritanical lens. The 10 days helped me to look at it from a practical lens.Just few days since I completed the 10 days of solitude. Back to the corporate world and tried to collate my thoughts and learnings of 200+ hours of silence.