The Solitude: The Hidden Loneliness of Leadership (2)

In this post we start to explore some of the contextual challenges in leadership roles

The Paradox of Leadership: Surrounded Yet Solitary

At first glance, leadership might seem like the antithesis of loneliness. Leaders are often at the center of their organizations, constantly interacting with team members, stakeholders, and clients; i.e. never alone. Yet, paradoxically, many leaders report feeling intensely alone.

Leaders are set apart by their responsibilities, the expectations placed upon them, and the need to maintain a certain distance to make objective decisions. This isolation is not just a feeling; it's often a structural reality. As one climbs the corporate ladder, the peer group naturally shrinks.

The number of people who can truly understand the pressures and challenges of leadership dwindles, leaving leaders with fewer individuals they can turn to for empathy and support.

This is equally true for those starting off as leaders as those who are seasoned. Early in my career, I was a "first amongst equals", as my boss liked what i was doing and gave me lot more responsibility, including shaping what my peers did. Oh boy - was I unprepared. With the benefits of hindsight - its the objective distance that was a challenge to the then 22 year old me.

The Fishbowl Effect: an authenticity paradox ?

One of the most challenging aspects of leadership is the constant scrutiny leaders face. Every word, action, and decision is analyzed and interpreted, both within the organization and externally. This "fishbowl" existence can be exhausting and isolating.

Leaders often feel the need to maintain a facade of confidence and control, even when they're grappling with uncertainty or self-doubt. This pressure to always appear strong and decisive can create a barrier between leaders and their teams, further contributing to feelings of isolation. And increasingly leaders are exhorted to show their authentic self - bring themselves unfiltered and unabridged to all their interactions, show their vulnerability.

How to handle that paradox. Its not easy as a professor Herminia Ibarra from my alma mater 英国伦敦商学院 argues in an HBR article titled "The Authenticity Paradox".

She discusses the challenges leaders face in maintaining authenticity while meeting others' expectations. She argues that the pressure to conform to leadership stereotypes can lead to a sense of disconnection from one's true self, exacerbating feelings of loneliness.

Resonates with your experiences? Other contextual factors?

Sneak preview of whats coming:

• Information filtering and reality - what drivers a leaders' choice?
• What might be mechanisms to handle the solitude