So...I Didn't Get the Job

So…I didn’t get the job.

And I didn’t imagine I would feel the gut-wrenching sadness that I am feeling. I had my heart and sights set on this particular role. I recently read a post in which someone compared job hunting to the search for love. With online dating and searching for a partner you have to traipse through a number of potential suitors, or potential employers if you’re in the job market. Sometimes you unintentionally put all of your effort and hopes into one person (job). You may have gone on several different dates (interviews) and with each interview, you felt like the individual (employees) really liked you. You invested time, money, and energy on dates (job interviews) only to be told after 3 or 4 really successful dates that you were not ‘the right fit.’

I’ve reached a point in my job search where things seem insurmountable. Rejection after rejection after rejection—and let me tell you, it’s not a great feeling. Through this process, and even through the pain I’m feeling, I’ve learned a few valuable lessons. I wanted to share with you all how I’m coping with the disappointment of YET ANOTHER rejection email.

1.    The first thing that this situation, as well as the last few months have taught me is that it’s rarely what you know but often who you know. And to take things a step further, it’s not quite who you know but who knows you. I’ve learned very quickly that it’s not enough to have multiple degrees, and even a Ph.D. It helps to have industry experience but even those with a wealth of experience and education are not immune to this principle. Your ability to network and your reputation are your greatest tools on your job search.

2.    Sometimes our reputation proceeds us. I learned many years ago that it’s so important to NEVER burn bridges with anyone. People you think you will never have to see again often have an uncanny way of popping back up into our lives. My simple rule: Always be nice!

3.    Proactively build relationships rather than reactive relationship building. It’s better to have developed a strong network of connections and organic relationships with other people rather than waiting until you need others to reach out.

4.    Everything happens for a reason. I know it sounds super cliché, but hear me out. I saw a quote that really struck me a few days ago. The quote said something along the lines of “if the door doesn’t open, then it isn’t not your door.” When we are facing rejection, it’s hard not to beat ourselves up wondering why we failed. While healthy self-assessment is critical to growth and improvement, we can sometimes get lost in a pattern of self-doubt and negative self-talk. Rejection allows us to see an honest reflection of ourselves…and sometimes, it’s not a pleasant sight. Every rejection has allowed me to “level up” and grow stronger in an area where I’ve been weak in. I know that every “NO” is just making me into a better person, for when I finally hear that one “YES.” I know my value. I know that I am an amazing person, a valuable asset to any organization, and a hard-worker. I know that when given the opportunity, I will shine and live up to expectations. I’ll admit: Hearing “NO” so many times (30 or more to be exact) has been heart breaking. But I know that there is something special in store for me.

Update: By the time you are reading this, my friends, I will have a new job. I wrote this during a time in my life when I was beginning to lose hope in myself, and my abilities. I stuck it out though, stayed the course, and tried to refine my skills and abilities. And then one day after more than 30 rejections, someone finally said ‘YES’ and gave me the opportunity I have been hoping for. I decided to post this now to say, if you are like me and you are in a situation where you are hearing a million no’s, JUST KEEP GOING. All it takes it that one ‘YES’ to transform your whole life.