The Softness of Modern Man: A Call for Men to Stand Against Effeminacy

In the current state of society, it's impossible to ignore the growing crisis facing men. Men are straying from their intended roles and abandoning the virtues that once made them influential and effective leaders. The spread of effeminacy, a vice that has infiltrated every aspect of our culture, is the root of this weakening. Don’t confuse effeminacy with femininity. Effeminacy is not about femininity, which is a virtue in women, but about a disorderly attachment to pleasure that leads men to avoid difficult tasks and responsibilities. St. Thomas Aquinas defines effeminacy as the unwillingness to sacrifice one's comfort for the sake of pursuing arduous or virtuous actions. It's about shirking responsibility, avoiding duty, and rejecting the challenges that God has placed in our lives to mold us into strong, honorable men.

Effeminacy: A Spiritual Weakness Rooted in Original Sin

To truly grasp the gravity of this crisis, we must return to the genesis of humanity, to the fall of Adam and Eve. Effeminacy stems from the sin of pride, the original sin. In the Garden of Eden, Adam, as the appointed leader and protector of his home, failed to defend Eve from the serpent's deceitful words. He stood by passively as she was led astray. His inaction, his failure to fulfill his duties as head of household, directly resulted in the downfall of mankind. It was not physical weakness that caused his downfall, but rather a spiritual abdication of responsibility. When men shirk their roles as guardians and guides, they lead their families and societies into chaos.

This disregard for responsibility in favor of comfort and pleasure is a pervasive theme in modern culture. It is the root cause of the spiritual weakening of men. The prideful desire to avoid suffering and pursue pleasure at all costs leads men to neglect their duties. This is an ancient sin that perpetuates weakness - the misguided pursuit of godliness without bearing the weight of sacrifice.

The Breakdown of Male Leadership: Effeminacy in Modern Culture

Today, we see the cultural effects of this spiritual weakness everywhere. In politics, leadership is reduced to virtue signaling and popularity contests, rather than courageous decision-making and moral fortitude. One prime example is Justin Trudeau, the Canadian Prime Minister, who has been frequently pictured with drag queens and advocates for progressive causes at the expense of truth, rational and logical thinking and traditional values. His leadership, though polished, lacks the substance required to face the hard decisions that are essential to securing the nation’s future. This reflects the broader trend in our society where men have abandoned the roles of moral and spiritual leadership in favor of comfort, approval, and popularity.

The same cultural forces have seeped into the church and home, where men have increasingly become passive, absent, or disengaged from their faith. Women now make up nearly 60% of churchgoers, a stark reminder of the abdication of spiritual responsibility by men. This passive role in the church is reflected in the absence of men in critical leadership roles in marriage and family life. The result? About 24 million children in the U.S. grow up without their biological father in the home, a trend that leads to higher rates of poverty, crime, and mental health struggles. A generation of children growing up without a solid, masculine model of leadership, and families being left vulnerable to the chaos of a culture that glorifies victimhood over virtue.

The Biblical Model of Masculine Leadership: Men Must Lead with Strength and Sacrifice

The biblical model of masculinity is clear. In 1 Corinthians 11:3, we are told that “the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man.” This is not about domination or control; it’s about sacrificial leadership. The man is called to lead his family spiritually, emotionally, and physically, just as Christ leads the Church. A man’s strength is demonstrated not in his ability to assert control but in his willingness to lay down his life for those he loves. The man is to be a protector, a provider, and a servant leader—one who sacrifices his own desires for the good of his wife and children.

Ephesians 5:25-33 deepens this understanding by calling husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the Church, "and gave himself up for her." This sacrificial love is the antidote to the softness that effeminacy breeds. A man who loves like this is not passive, but vigilant. He does not run from difficulty; he embraces it, knowing that through sacrifice comes strength, and through strength, protection for his family.

The biblical vision of masculinity is one of responsibility, accountability, and courage. The failure to embrace this role does not just lead to personal weakness—it leads to the unraveling of the very structure that supports our culture and society.

Spiritual Warfare: The Battle Against Effeminacy

The fight against effeminacy is not just a cultural battle; it is a spiritual one. 1 Peter 5:8 warns us to “be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour.” The enemy seeks to destroy the spiritual health of men, for when men fall, families falter, and societies collapse. The forces of secularism, materialism, and false ideologies such as feminism and gender confusion are all part of this battle.

Prayer, scripture, and the pursuit of virtue has long been used as a weapon against evil, and provides men with the spiritual strength to fight this battle. In John 2:15, when Christ cleansed the Temple, he made a whip out of cords and drove out the money changers. This act of righteous anger is a model for men today—using the spiritual weapons at our disposal to drive the forces of evil from our homes and our hearts. Prayer is not passive; it is an active defense of our families and our faith. Just as Christ cleansed the temple, so too must men cleanse their homes from influences that threaten their spiritual well-being.

Reclaiming Masculine Virtue: The Path to True Strength

How, then, can men reclaim their purpose and God-ordained role? It begins with embracing the virtues of perseverance, discipline, and sacrifice. Men are called to be men of virtue—men who endure hardships, who resist the pull of comfort, and who rise to meet the challenges of their lives with strength and courage.

St. Dominic Savio’s motto, “Death before sin,” captures the essence of the battle that men are called to fight. It’s not just about facing physical challenges but about standing firm in the face of the temptation to compromise, to take the easy way out, or to live for self-indulgence. True masculinity is about self-sacrifice, about giving yourself fully to the service of others. Men must reclaim the role of protector, provider, and spiritual leader in their homes. They must rise to the occasion, face their fears, and embrace the hard path of leadership.

The Call to Discomfort: Embrace Hardship

Consider the Exodus 90 program. This intense 90-day spiritual boot camp, designed specifically for men, forces them to step outside their comfort zone and engage with discomfort on a daily basis. Participants commit to cold showers, daily scripture and prayer, avoiding entertainment, weekly fasting, and consuming only water and black coffee. These small, daily sacrifices may seem trivial, but they are powerful symbols of a broader spiritual discipline. They teach men to endure hardship, to choose discomfort over comfort, and to remind them that true strength and freedom lies in the ability to endure and choosing sacrifice over indulgence.

The ethos of Exodus 90 embodies the life of discipline and sacrifice that men are called to embrace. It forces men to confront their desires for ease and indulgence, showing them the value of saying "no" to fleeting pleasures in favor of a more disciplined, intentional life. It teaches men that hardship is not something to be avoided but something to be embraced. These daily practices mirror the journey of Christ, who endured the Cross for the sake of humanity. By participating in Exodus 90, men learn to die to themselves, choosing the hard way for the sake of their faith and their families.

Consider, too, the "Gladiator" films, particularly the first one. Maximus, the protagonist, is a perfect example of what it means to endure hardship with honor. Even after losing his family and being sold into slavery, Maximus doesn't succumb to despair or passivity. Instead, he channels his grief into action, taking responsibility for his own fate and that of those around him. Maximus exemplifies the virtues of perseverance, courage, and leadership, even in the face of immense personal suffering.

Sacrifice and hardship are foundational to masculinity because they teach men to deny themselves for a greater good. Maturity comes through suffering and responsibility. A man’s strength is forged through hardship, as he learns to endure pain (of all forms) and persevere in the face of difficulty. This process builds the moral and spiritual muscle required to lead with courage and conviction.

The Horrors of Comfort: The Fall into Passivity

The rise of comfort-driven living—heated seats, self-driving cars, gourmet coffee at home—has made us soft. We live in an age where it’s easier than ever to avoid discomfort. Men today are often more interested in relaxation than in discipline. We have more conveniences than ever before, but this only serves to mask the deeper issue: the absence of real leadership, sacrifice, and virtue.

When we indulge in the comforts of modern life, we lose touch with the true meaning of masculinity. We seek pleasure over purpose, ease over effort, comfort over courage. And when this mindset permeates our homes and our relationships, it leads to the breakdown of families and society. Men are called to be warriors, to fight not just for their own well-being but for the spiritual health of their families. This involves sacrificing the pleasures of the world for something far more valuable—the well-being of our souls, the protection of our families, and the preservation of our faith.

A Call to Stand Against the Current

Men, it is time to rise up. Our families, our marriages, and our society are depending on us. We cannot afford to let effeminacy rule. We must reclaim our God-given role as leaders, protectors, and warriors for our families and our faith. It will not be easy. In fact, it may be uncomfortable, unpopular, and filled with criticism. But this is the cross we must bear.

Christ’s passion and death on the cross serve as the ultimate example of masculine strength. His willingness to suffer and sacrifice for the salvation of others sets the standard for all men. Masculinity is not about avoiding discomfort but about facing challenges head-on, sacrificing for the good of others, and fulfilling one’s responsibilities with courage and integrity.

In Matthew 10:28, Jesus tells us: “Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.” This is the battle we fight. The stakes are high, but so is the victory. It’s time to stand firm, to reject the lies of contemporary culture, and to reclaim the strength and virtue that God designed us to possess.?

Men must reject the pull of modern culture, which seeks to emasculate them, and embrace their God-given roles as leaders in their families and communities.

The restoration of masculinity in the modern age requires a return to traditional values—values that emphasize hard work, self-discipline, and self-sacrifice. Men must take responsibility for their spiritual health and the well-being of their families. By doing so, they can once again fulfill their God-given roles and contribute to the rebuilding of a society rooted in faith, virtue, and moral clarity. The strength of the family and society depends on the strength of its men, and the strength of men is built on the virtues of humility, sacrifice, and perseverance.

The world is watching. Your family is watching. Will you rise to the occasion? Will you reclaim the strength and virtue that God has called you to? The answer has to be yes. For your sake, for your family’s sake, and for the sake of the world.