Soft Skills???
This is the second part of What are Soft Skills! I am continuing from the last point where I left. If you haven't been through the first part I linked it here for your ease.
Lets just dive in the world of words!
11. ? ? Humility
Humility is basically, not feeling pride. This is the feeling or attitude that you are not superior to anyone. And there is no one below you. You stay humble and thank whatever is given to you. You do not make fun of people who have less than you, whatever it is, whether it's materialistic or non-materialistic i.e., money, house, knowledge, wisdom etc.
You must be wondering how to learn humility or how is it taught to us. It’s actually the wiring of your brain which is mostly done by our parents when we are young and in the learning stage of life.
If you are interested in learning to be more humble or if you think you want some knowledge or if you are a curious person like Meeeee and want to just read stuff and gain information keep on surfing my articles.
Best way is writing a gratitude journal. It helps your brain to know and understand that we are blessed with so many things which we should be grateful for and we often forget not to consider or even don’t think about that we are getting these things for free.
Just imagine, you can breathe perfectly, what do you have that you got such healthy lungs and the person suffering with asthma what did that person do to deserve asthma? Nothing, NOTHING at all, so, why do you have healthy lungs and that person doesn’t. Now you know this is the thing to be grateful for and if you are not being grateful enough about it then, why not start now?
Its never too late!
Some of you must be thinking that if we are the person having less and the other person in our circle has more or better things or whatever it is, why don’t we deserve that?
Then the simple answer to this is, every person is different from each other. We can not have other people's lives, we have our own and we have our own path and destiny as well.
If you are not getting that stuff then most probably your destiny is different. (Ever wondered that other person doesn't have the stuff you have? ??) And rather than getting jealous why not work for it, why not learn other people and their techniques and add your own style to it and enjoy both their achievement with a magical touch of your own soul.
How about this???
12. ? ? Resilience
The concept of resilience is very interesting. It is the mental, emotional, and behavioral flexibility of a person to respond and adapt to different situations and environments. It is the ability to bounce back from the downfalls and stressing situations keeping your mental and physical health intact at all times.
This is something that you have to learn in order to excel in this. And by learning I mean that you have to put yourself in situations where you would get rejected at the speed of the light. Getting rejected doesn’t mean that you failed, it actually means you are one step further towards your goal.
Rejection actually teaches you what is actually demanded from you, because in our own bubble we sometimes do not understand what is right or wrong. We always need feedback, mental strength, will power and resilience to keep going. Otherwise we would always remain in the delusion that I am the best or in some other cases I cannot do anything properly.
Let me quote my own example here!
I used to think I am very good at content writing?? and I have enough knowledge to be a top notch writer ?? (shocked? Yeah I was too! ) but little did I know that things don’t work out this way??. Though I have completed more than 30 courses on blogging content writing and articles ?? but I was never in the market ??. I never knew what was trending or what is trending nowadays??. Only having the belief that I can do anything ??I once made my mind, kept me going??. When I got into the market ??I got to know what and how keyword research is done??. What is SEO? And more stuff related to it.????
Hence, in short, I learned more practically and by getting rejected then doing courses and stuff that was just all in my mind. I am still in the learning phase but I believe in myself that a day will surely come when I will achieve my dream and make a difference in the world through my words and knowledge I have.
Another thing I found useful is, You can also try meditation, as it helps in in-depth analysis of things going on in your brain, to sort out all the mental clutter and also it helps in giving directions.
Sometimes, we find it difficult to segregate between, situations we can change and situations we cannot change and oftentimes we waste our time in changing the things which cannot be changed rather than focusing on important stuff that need our immediate attention.
You heard the quote,
time is money.
It sure is, if you value your time now then it will repay you back 10 times but if you wasted it then you know time waits for none and by none includes everyone there is no exception.
We are put on earth for a reason and it is our responsibility to find out that reason otherwise what is the use of coming on earth and wasting time and not understanding yourself, what you enclose.?
If you have ever read biology, you would know how these little very tiny things and the whole different world lives in us. It is so fascinating how these things are enclosed in such a small body with such perfectionism. No human being can make stuff with this perfectionism.
One day we all have to die. Now it's up to you if you wanna let your life swift away like wind from yourself or you wanna achieve greater things and make your life valuable.
You know the hierarchy of needs.
· ? ? ? Physiological needs
· ? ? ? Safety and security needs
· ? ? ? Love and belonging needs
· ? ? ? Self-esteem needs
· ? ? ? Self-actualization needs
The top is self actualization needs. What is self actualization? This topic deserves a full length article on it. So I will do justice and will discuss it in another article.
The main point is,
our life has meaning and a goal and we should be searching for it in this life.
This brings me to my next point.
13. ? ? Patience
Ever heard the proverb:
patience is a virtue!
Yes, it is. Virtue means behavior that shows high moral standards. Patience is one of them. To be patient you need to put in your blood, sweat and tears and then you learn this soft skill of being patient.
Not everyone can be patient but don’t take this to heart. If I have included this in soft skills then keep in mind it can be learned and be perfected, with time of course.
Time is what plays a major role in being patient. But keep in mind it doesn’t mean if you are not working on things, you are being patient. Not working on things and not getting things done at the right time, is called procrastinating and funny is that you don’t need to learn procrastination but you have to learn to be patient.
In life there are multiple things with a very thin border line.
just like the seed of the date has a very thin covering.
It is important to differentiate between the concepts otherwise it will take a second to fall on the other side of the boundary and not know that you have entered the den.
Woooo, I guess I scared you guys but you know what, it’s scary and not scary at the same time. And then it gets even scarier!!!!
To be patient, you first need to know what is making you impatient and then asking the 5W1H question (What, Why, Where, When, Who, How). Answering these questions will help you understand the triggers better and will also help to sort out things for you.
When the mist in the mind clears out it gets easy to plan and implement, hence you become more patient.
14. ? ? Tactfulness
Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without messing up the shine on his shoes. –Harry S. Truman.
In easy words tactfulness is to burn everything and not letting anyone know everything’s on fire. It is the quality of a person to handle delicate or a difficult situation without giving offense.
Respond intelligently, even to unintelligent treatment. –Lao-Tzu ( Chinese Philosopher )
It also includes
saying the right thing at the right time.
The choice of words, play a very important role in being tactful. It is all basically about the, right timing and the right choice of words.
Wrong places, wrong timing and wrong words can get you in big trouble even leading to destruction of your relationship with colleagues, family, friends or anybody around you.
When we are speaking in a public setting we don’t know who else is listening. As it is said,
walls have ears too
So, not the person in direct contact but the people around, can also make a perspective about you the way you speak and as you know people judge you. As Vinh Giang said,
your voice is your personality.
Yes , I am a firm believer of this sentence that the way you speak or interact both verbally and non-verbally to people around you is how you are perceived by others and hence your personality is that.
Remember, it is more difficult to change someone’s perspective about you than to change someone else’s mindset on other things.
Now the question is
how to be tactful?
If I have listed this in the skills list then it means you can always learn it.
The most important way to learn things is to just dive in.
(You learn more by experience than by reading and taking courses. But it doesn't mean that you stop reading! Why are you here ? your reading this right! this reading stuff is for you to take a guide, its like having a rulebook or cookbook which guides you but you have to cook yourself to eat the meal!)
This means that you have to push yourself to be in uncomfortable situations and learn things by trial and error. You have to communicate a lot with different people.
The easiest way to do this is to go to a park and strike a conversation with a stranger and see where things go, or you can also visit hospitals and old age homes you would find more knowledgeable and intelligent people there and this will also increase your perspective as well.
It is like killing two birds with one shot because as you will be learning to be tactful the other person would be having company and an ear which will listen.
Nowadays, due to excessive technology elderly people are mostly left ignored and unattended but having you there and someone to talk to they would have a nice time and you would be able to gain their wisdom as well.
But worry not for those who like to prepare themselves before getting into the battle. I have some things for you. You can always take a course, read a book and watch a YouTube video.
Here are the links for your ease! But let me clear one thing that being tactful only happens when you know how to communicate and socialize. So, first focus on those and being tactful will come as a byproduct.
Isn’t it interesting, this is why I said everything is interlinked.
if you wanna read a book then here is the name
(Communicating with Diplomacy and Tact: A practical guide by Sorin Dumitrascu).
Sorry you gotta buy it because I couldn’t find a link for online reading. But if any of my readers found one don’t hesitate to share it with me I will add it here.
You can also take this course on Udemy.
If you wanna read a blog on it you can find it here.
There is just so much to learn. If you get the hang of one you would get the hang of 2 or 3 with it. For example, if you improved your social and communication skills you would already have learned adaptability, problem solving, team work, negotiation, networking in the process.
Isn’t it amazing? I have discussed these in my article. Do check it out.
15. ? ? Empathy
empathy and sympathy aaaaaaaahhhhhhh (panic attack)!!
I always get confused between these two. They are the TWINS!
There is a very minor difference between these two.
Let's start with empathy as the main topic.
Empathy is to feel what others are feeling. It is the high level of sensitivity to feel exactly what others are feeling and responding like you are in his/her or another person's shoes.
It is the skill and ability of a person to understand other person on emotional level and then respond accordingly understanding their point of view and perspective for the whatever the situation is.
For example,
If someone has lost a loved once, if you are an empath you would feel the same as that person is feeling. It would be like as if you have lost YOUR loved once.
Understanding others on a different level, i.e., getting out of your own head and getting into someone else's, is the toughest thing to do. Still some people are empaths and when I say it’s a skill, it means it can be learned very perfectly.
It's all related to how sensitive you are. There are online tests as well that you can take to determine how much of an empath are you.
Lets jump to sympathy. It is more of a feeling that you feel bad or pity for others, i.e., you do not put yourself in their shoes but still you understand their circumstances and feel their pain and you show you grievance or happiness according to the situation.
Here you understand how someone else is feeling but you do not implement that on your oneself, rather you feel good or bad for that person. It is kind of a relief that you are not in the same situation as the other person but you do realize that something tragic has happened to the other person and you feel bad for them.
It doesn’t mean you are faking it, it is real but the only difference in empathy and sympathy is that in empathy you put yourself in their shoes and in empathy you feel others but you do not relate that pain to your own self.
?
16. ? ? Curiosity
Ever observed kids they are fundamentally curious in their personality because this whole world is new to them and they want to know more but as the time passes and we become adults our curiosity decreases.
But why does it happen? Do we get all the answers? Is that why?
Nope, there are many factors affecting curiosity.
Curiosity is led by the thrust for knowing more. Sometimes knowledge is good but sometimes more knowledge is a curse.
Now there are different versions and different believers in this regard.
Which one are you?
Sometimes excessive and useless knowledge only creates clutter in mind and nothing else and also hinders the decision making process of the brain because now, it has many aspects to look at and think accordingly.
Brain is always working but I still don’t get it ??why does it stops during examination ??when we most need it and its knowledge, as if it just turned in to a coconut.
Okay, coconut lovers don’t get offended by it, I just used it as a part of speech not something serious. I also like coconuts, there are so many benefits annnnddd I am going on the other track again, Areej get back to the topic.
See all this knowledge comes from being curious about each and everything. Once
I even searched how pencils and erasers are made? (dumb right!)
because I couldn’t get the fact straight, that how lead is enclosed in wood because there is no cut, somewhere on the wood. I used to think a hole was drilled in the wood and then lead was inserted in it but it turned out the lead is covered by two pieces of wood.
How thermometers are made? How the world works? How the brain of a person work?, sometimes it's fun to know, other times I regret knowing cause some truths are meant to stay hidden, like I never knew that the banks have therapists known as wealth psychologists who help ultra rich clients, who are unable to mentally cope with their immense wealth.
No, Wait! Whhhhat does this suppose to mean! How wouldn’t you know, how to manage wealth? I mean come on, you gotta know if you are making this much... (duh) what you are gonna do with it. Otherwise why even work your own ass off to gain all this wealth? just to hire a psychologist ? who will tell you now what to do with it?
Huhhhhh!!! give all that wealth to me. I know, what I wanna do with money and how, when , where and why am I gonna spend it. I know it all. Hehehehe
17. ? ? Adaptability
It is the skill in which you are flexible enough to adapt yourself in changing situations. You merge yourself into different conditions and environments. This skill doesn’t come easily because you have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. And have to get out of your comfort zone and take risks and who knows what else.
This is exciting as well, you get to know and learn a lot of stuff. But as it is said
nothing in this world is free
So, yeah you gotta pay with your comfort zone and even sometimes you have to feel embarrassed or face certain difficult situations. But you know what, life should be full of experiences and of vast variety,
what are you gonna tell when you find someone who would like to listen to you?
You should have something other than all the general things like your experiences, your life, your feelings, when your heart starts beating for the first time, when your stomach gets butterflies the first and the last time, when you messed up real bad, when you felt anxious, sad , happy. When you had a near death experience.
This all comes from getting out of your comfort zone. When you adapt yourself to changing situations.
Just tell me if you always stay in your comfort zone
what you gonna achieve? What are you gonna tell?
Well I used to play the games of the time and watched the popular movies, now, no one knows about… huh (in a grumpy old man voice)
An adaptable person, is the person who can keep up with the priorities and projects. Knows or understands how to tackle stuff and can easily manage unorganized work that is flexible enough to keep up with the pace of changing conditions and environments, whether it is in home life or work life.
It is a skill that means it can be learned but you gotta prepare your mind first so that it doesn’t get into the state of burn out or even shutdown. Because then it will also affect your mood and relationships everything is connected there are many factors to keep in mind but you know what, just get into stuff and learn things.
who cares if you messed 2 to 3 times doesn’t matter its is okay
just give it a try and you will get the hang of the things real soon.
Every master was once a learner
and you know who a learner is,
he is the person who is not afraid to make mistakes, keeps going on the path and has the courage to learn and accept things and mistakes he is the person who doesn’t back off.
Most important thing I wanna share here is some of these soft skills can be learned through courses and stuff but most of them can only be learned by
jumping in the water!
Yeah, you gotta take that step. Why not see it this way the more you try new stuff the more wisdom, knowledge and experience you would gain.
Nop, I am not pressuring you or telling you this is the only way, Nooo, I would never do that.
You see the knowledge I have maybe most of you also have or maybe not, but actually you guys have more knowledge than me we all don’t share same circumstance and environment so our learning is totally different.
This is what makes life interesting!
18. ? ? Generosity
generosity! Another soft skill.
Generosity is to be kind with everyone no matter the post, status, color, race or even type (animals, humans, trees, living things, non-living things).
The question is how do we become generous?
We know the word we know the meaning but when we are asked what actually generosity is we can not explain it.
This is something that is inbuilt, it seems, but this is not the case when we are young and small our parents tells us to be kind and by kind they mean that: when making a decision we should keep others feelings and the outcomes in mind and think by being in their shoes rather than focusing only on our own feeling.
We practice being generous by giving food to animals keeping pets and adoring them and taking care of them. Do you remember? when your mom said if you gonna keep this pet you gonna feed it! and treat it when its not feeling right, give medication and overall keep the pet under your observation taking out on the walk is also one of the main activity.
Some who can not keep pets or buy in some cases their parents tell them to keep a plant and take care of it and water it.
Let me share a very interesting school practice of the Japanese school system, they teach many different things to their students through practical work.
In Japan, kids bring their own plant to school and keep it there, care for it daily and look after it. And at the end of semester or the year they look at that plant and understand many lessons given by wisdom.
Some of which include:
see by doing only one activity since childhood they learn so many things.
This is only one example, there are many more. If you are interested you can read about Japanese culture as well.
I am really impressed by them. I feel sad because all of these things are taught in Islam but the only difference is we do not practice it as we should be doing it. don’t worry guys if once you make up your mind
you can move the mountains.
Awareness is the only thing, that we young generation don’t have, due to social media and excessive focus on materialistic things. We are forgetting our roots and we gotta do something about it before everything vanishes.
The thing is to connect ourselves back to our roots we gotta consume our true culture and the true essence of life taught to us by Islam.
19. ? ? Gratitude
Being thankful for everything you got, little or a lot. Though it seems really easy to do and most people think that they are being grateful but the essence lies in the pure form.?
Why birds drink water facing to the Sky? This the way they thank Allah.
You did not get my point hahaha.
Let me explain it a little further.
Ever noticed, The energy levels, the vibrations of your body, aura and heart when you get the thing you most wanted??? That millisecond vibrations, the light rays, the expressions, the fulfillment of your heart, those invisible tears which come in your eyes for just a millisecond, the feeling of conquering the whole world.
This feeling, this thought, this exact thing, when you look at the sky for a short time and thank Allah for giving that thing to you. This is being grateful! when every cell of your body is screaming with joy and happiness and forgets about each and everything, that one second of clear mind, as if it has been emptied, that whole brain structure is being cleared and you see nothing then the thing most desired!
This is what you gratefulness!!! and the words of Alhamdulillah popping out of your mouth unconsciously,
This is how being grateful feels like.?
Now there are a lot of ways you can learn to be grateful, practicing these will one day lead you to an alpha state where the true meaning of being grateful can be achieved.?
First, you gota know how much you are grateful in your daily life. So you gota keep track of all the times you are grateful for things even if they are so little. Even if you feel nice breathing, note it down, whenever you say thank you to anyone for anything, track all of it.?
The second step, is to consciously thank them for one or three things daily. Make it a habit and track it as well. At the end of the day you must have a minimum 3 things to be grateful for.
Keep in mind it doesn't matter if those are little things even if the wind brushing through your hair makes you feel good you can also be thankful for that or even the biggest thing like winning the lottery you can be thankful for that as well.
Third, start writing a gratitude journal, buy a good looking fancy journal in which you are like I gota write in it. Feel like a writer and write all the things you are grateful about.
A time will come when you wont be needing a journal, so don't worry, it is just for your habit building and training your brain to be grateful consciously and then unconsciously. Just like our body needs exercise, our brain needs one too.?
Forth, it is also important the words and sentence structure you are using for being grateful. You need to make it look like you are grateful not as you are doing a some kinda exercise or you are a robot thanking people and Allah Tallah just like you are programmed. I already explained the true essence of being grateful.
It all comes from the heart if it isn't then you probably are not being grateful.?
As it is a skill you can always learn it and by doing this practice you would also feel a change in your mindset, life and your relationships. Because you always remember the scent of a perfume or flower you remember the fragrance of positivity.
Just thinking about it changes my whole mood!.?
20.? Cultural Sensitivity
Now wait what iz this? Why is cultural sensitivity included in the soft skills?
You all must have this question in mind. I will tell you .
It is included in soft skills because you know the saying
Earth is becoming a global village.
Well yeah you must have got the point now but as a writer I want to give this thought words. Words of wisdom… hehehehe okay, now enough being dramatic let's dive into it.
Cultural sensitivity is being able to understand the difference between different cultures and respecting them as well. It is now getting important to have knowledge of different cultures because everything knowledge, technology, business, export is being globalized.
As human beings we all are different not mentioning having different religions, cultures and background. If you look closely you would know even in one city , every house has a different cultural system: the way they work or interact with people, even the way they serve their guests and the way they show hospitality is all different, so the world is so so so much bigger than this how many cultures would be here.
Knowing others' cultures helps us in building trustworthy relations with people or countries on a very high level. It helps us with interactions and socializing.
Just imagine embarrassing yourself just because you didn't know their cultural practices. Sometimes what is considered good in one culture is not always considered good in other cultures. We have a lot of examples. Just like the laws differ, cultures also differ in many ways.
Also I want to add, it doesn't always mean that other people and cultures will always differ there are many things that are similar. If you focus on similarities you would see that. All the cultures have one basic core, that is to provide ease to people.
The ways may differ but the core thought remains the same.
How to learn cultures?
Well, first you gota find out which culture you are interested in, to read or know. Target all the stuff related to that culture. Social media, books, podcasts, videos tiktok, YouTube channels, newspaper, serials, seasons, everything and learn them, learn them to the core.
There is A LOT of stuff that you could easily understand due to subtitles. I would suggest you to hear all the things in their original language, so you would also slowly know their language and learn it as well.?
Wouldn't that be epic to kill two birds with one stone. Though I like the meaning behind this idiom, it's really kinda like KILLING BIRDS. Cause I like birds a lot so it kinda hurts when I use this idiom. Yah, I know people are not that sensitive but I am! So let me rephrase it?
Wouldn't it be epic, to get more things done in less time? Now that's more like it ??
21.? Conflict Resolution
To resolve a conflict first you must know what the conflict is about. Conflict resolution is to resolve a conflict in a way that both the parties are happy and on the same ground and satisfied with the decision.
This is a must learn skill, because conflict is for sure to occur.
Why ?
Because, we are humans we all are different in our thinking patterns in our working patterns in our experiences and outlooks on life and other stuff.
When working in a group every single one tends to like the fact that their words or their suggestions should be valued highly. This is why it is necessary to discuss and select the best possible way to deal with stuff without getting offended and offending others.
Another factor is older people and the youngest one most likely to get in conflicts because they may be thinking that I know the best in one case as I have more experience and in the second case that I am more knowledgeable about new trends and ways.
So now we know, it is a must that conflict will arise so we must learn the tact and tricks to deal with conflicts and now you see I can relate the tactfulness here that how you deal with conflicts without breaking hearts, relationship and trust.?
As you can see, these are interlinked so it is not like you gota learn all skills separately or just one skill to learn all others it's kinda like you first need to do your own SWOT Analysis and then work on the weaker areas and build the strong ones.
It's not like, I learned it so I know it, it's more like I have to keep on learning as the knowledge is advancing.
The reason is, if you stick to one thing you are going to diminish like dragons (fire breathing) hehehe I know they aint real? and dinosaurs which surely are real till now.?
22.? Emotional Intelligence
Intelligence, any kind, is very important to have. Humans work physically, emotionally and most importantly spiritually.?
By physically I mean the work we do, by nature we are intelligent enough to know what our physical body requires and needs what type of food and when. The tricky parts are the emotions and spirit, you gota work on them YOURSELF and have to figure it all out. This is a little bit of a tiring process but it is worth it.
The worth can not be known until you dive deep in it.?
It's a totally different discussion topic. I will maybe in the near future write an article on it. Because it's totally to my taste and liking.??
Okay, so now to emotional intelligence, it is managing your own as well as understanding others emotions. Now you must be thinking
wait whaaat ???
Why should we bother with others emotions??? Isn't it insane enough to deal with one's own emotions, now we gota care about others too????? Whyyyyy????
I'll tell you why. Humans are social beings, they need other people to live, keep eye on the depth of this sentence please, "need people to live" holds a vast and deep meaning. Humans can not survive alone.?
I know you would be like oh Areej, you sure, what about the people who live alone on the mountains???
Let me just stop you there!!!!
There are two types of alone, hehehe, yeah I just created it now. This is the fun part of writing:
you get inside your head, discover things, create things and then give them words. Okay so according to me there are two types of alone?
Now fellas what do you say isn't this interesting.! The reality is what YOU think is real. That is why you can't always say you are right. Everything has multiple infinite aspects and to look into them is where your patience is tested.?
Again, relating the conflict point here because there are so many aspects to one thing, conflict arises when you limit your brain to certain or limited aspects and are not flexible enough to look from the eyes of others.
So, a person with wisdom and experience is needed to resolve conflicts and of course having emotional intelligence, where he knows how the other person would react to the suggested solution.?
To be emotionally intelligent you need to learn the art of observation and understanding. Only by observation and patterns of a person can you know the inner world of that person.?
Now how to be emotionally intelligent I would write a whole separate article on it. Because this one would get really really lengthy if i keep on adding in it.
Have to take care of your eyes and brain capacity as well hehe. TILL NEXT TIME FELLAS! see you in next article, My Readers!