Societal Expectations & Quake Books

The economist and author Tyler Cowen coined a term for specific books: "quake books." Cowen proclaimed a “quake book” to be one that shakes you to your core. Any dedicated reader likely has a quake book or two that they are ready to recommend at a moment’s notice, complete with a tale about the book’s impact on their life. I have a few titles that are quake books for me. One, in particular, shaped my life philosophy to such a degree that I cannot even approximate where I would be today had I not received a lucky recommendation.

We will get to the book in a second. Rewind back to 2010. I was an aspiring young lawyer beginning the process of studying for the LSAT and applying to schools. Like many overzealous kids looking to point their career vessels in the right direction, I reached out to anyone and everyone for their advice. The advice I received served as a "quake," but not in the same direction as that in a "quake book." Sure, I received a few "You would make a great lawyer. I think you should go for it!”?quotes or some variation thereof. Those positive words, however, were quite the minority. A few pieces of advice given to me at the time are still stuck in the back of my head today:

• You should just become a paralegal. That can be a great long-term career. Have you thought about that?
• Why not just go work for the government. They love to hire people like you!
• Do you think clients will take you seriously in a wheelchair?
• Why don't you get a disability check from the government, and then you never have to work? That’s living the dream!
• It would be best if you became a secretary. That is what my disabled family member did, and she lived a great life.

My initial reaction to these quotes was not anger or despair but confusion. Up until this point in my life, "you can do anything" had been a common refrain I heard from almost everyone. Why was there a sudden change in tune? What had I done wrong? I needed some time to figure out the answers to these questions.

Perhaps because advice this negative was so foreign to me, I regrettably internalized it and shelved my law school journey. For the next few years, a battle raged in my head between giving law school a shot and continuing my then-current career path. Every time thoughts of becoming a startup and venture capital lawyer would dance to the front of my mind, the "advice" from others would storm in and fight back any such wishes.

2015 is the year everything changed, and it all stemmed from a single book. The book did not come into my life by me hopping on Amazon and going, "this book will certainly change my life! Buy Now." A year earlier, as part of a pre-order promotion for his book?The Obstacle is the Way?(which also had an outsized impact on me), Ryan Holiday recommended books if you emailed him with information about what you enjoyed reading. Ryan recommended my life's most significant quake book,?The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt,?by Edmund Morris.

The Rise of Theodore?Roosevelt tracks the beginning of Roosevelt’s life through his pre-presidential years. Before receiving Ryan's recommendation, my knowledge of Teddy Roosevelt was nothing more than the surface-level kind one picks up in high school history class. Reading about the beginning of his life was simultaneously inspiring and a moment eerily similar to when Neo finally understood the Matrix.?

Morris writes about how Roosevelt, the child, was nothing like what became Roosevelt, the man. As a child, Roosevelt had regular asthma attacks so severe that they nearly killed him. Given the severity of the attacks, Roosevelt was physically inactive, frail, and not as social as other kids. Because of the period in which he was living, and the upper-class position of his family, society would have accepted (and perhaps expected) Teddy to remain mostly bedridden and achieve little. At the time, some popular treatments for childhood asthma were taking the sufferer to a location with clean air, such as the mountains, or having them smoke cigars to strengthen their lungs. With little help beyond these treatments, a non-strenuous life was an acute possibility for someone with Roosevelt's illness.

Furthermore, the Roosevelt family was already very wealthy by this time. Theodore could afford to be waited on by hand and foot, making his life significantly easier. His father, however, would not let this happen, telling Theodore that he had the mind and willpower and had to use that to overcome his bodily limitations. To help him overcome these limitations, Theodore’s family installed the equivalent of an at-home gym in their house. Roosevelt then put himself through a rigorous daily fitness regimen. After several years, he willed himself into the robust and muscular individual we are all familiar with. Fitness became such a cornerstone of Roosevelt’s life that he joined the boxing team at Harvard, took colleagues on death-defying hikes, hunted animals in the then truly-wild western United States, and famously swam in ice-cold waters near the White Hose. There is a great (maybe sarcastic) quote that Theodore Roosevelt “…read about great men, and then decided to become one.” This applied to not only his political and professional life but also his physicality and fitness.

Reading about Roosevelt's physical struggles and defying societal expectations put much of my late-and-post-college life into perspective. Like someone stealing a glance at an incomplete puzzle and suddenly seeing where the remaining pieces go, the "don't go to law school" advice that previously confused me now made sense. Those that gave that advice were not giving the advice to me, specifically. They were merely parroting the ingrained societal expectations for someone with a disability.

• Don't shoot for the top. It's inspiring if you just have a job.
• There are jobs specifically for disabled people.
• You will have to overcome stereotypes. Life will be hard. You should just give up.
• Life will be too hard for you. Take the free money.
• Disabled people are mostly the same. You should follow the path of this other person I know with a disability.

After a few days of reflection (and dealing with the regret from listening to the “advice”), I became a man on a mission. I restarted the law school application process and embarked on an intense study program, taking every previously administered LSAT as a practice test. I had it in my mind to follow a version of the Roosevelt example: I saw lawyers doing what I wanted to do and decided to become one of them.?

Not only did?The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt?get me into gear regarding my legal career, but it also helped form one of the critical tenants of my life philosophy.?Do not let others set expectations for your life. Set your personal expectations for yourself and wrestle them into submission until they come true.?This philosophy has helped me begin my legal career, push myself physically (I'm coming for you 2024 CrossFit Open), and set a positive example for someone with a disability.?

I frequently ask myself, "where would I be if Ryan had never recommended that book? What would I be doing?” While I will never know the answers to those questions, the mere thoughts give me the chills. The key is to?always be reading. You never know when you will come across a tale that, like an earthquake, shakes your life's foundations and forms its philosophy.

Do you have any "quake books" you recommend or life philosophies that have come from reading? You can drop them in the comments below or email them to me at [email protected].

This was also posted to jakedenham.net