Social Skills

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?Social skills are a set of skills that helps us to live and manage our lives efficiently in connection with society and other people as whole. Many times, our behaviors, style, and thinking are extrapolated or influenced by others in our society consciously or sub-consciously. Therefore, it becomes crucial to analyze and observe our habits and behaviors to understand whether they are congruent to etiquettes and socially accepted norms.

?Manly times, it is seen that people do not either understand its influence or tend to belittle it. The reality is that mostly we all care about social influences. In this case the mention of interpersonal skills becomes important. Thus, interpersonal skills are a set of skills which we all follow or at least try to prove that we follow while dealing and talking with people. The opposite of interpersonal skills is the intrapersonal skills are required while dealing with ourselves as individuals. Some of most important parts of interpersonal skills are:

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??1: Mentoring:?It means guiding others about these same skills which are learnt from others.???????????????????????????????????For example, a child is using an offensive word which you hear and then explain that using such words is bad. So, he/she should avoid it and instead use a formal synonym.

??2: Coordination:?It means to adjust ourselves according to a specific situation or the person we are dealing with. For example, you see that your guest does not like to have cookies, so you also avoid and instead take something which he prefers.

?3: Negotiation:?It is one of the most important skills that young people should learn and practice. When dealing with people, it is very common that there will be clash of choice between two people for many reasons like the conflict of interest which means that the person with you has a different reason for the same thing that you both are dealing with and so his choice may be different. Under such circumstances, it becomes very important that you should negotiate. It reminds me of one of my funny childhood stories. Once I had an argument with my brother which led to separation between us temporarily. So, we went to divide things. There was a box which none of us wanted to leave with other. So, finally we cut it into two parts just to make sure that my brother alone could not use it. We prefer that none use it than anyone of us using it alone. Sadly, very soon the harsh relationship improved, and we came together but that box could not be brought to the same situation. This is exactly what happens with many of us, maybe now we are grown-up, so we do not make such silly mistakes, but we still tend to make such foolish mistakes. Have you ever thought how impractically you had been thinking few years back but now that you think far better? Do not worry after some years you will again realize that all that you are doing currently was still far inefficient and that you could manage to do it far better than this. So, for all this the skill of negotiation is required, because negotiation means that you must deal with other people and at times it is possible that some of those other people themselves are not aware of what is good and bad for them. In this case it really becomes very sensitive and serious to discuss and convince because the other person may think that you are just trying to manipulate him for your won selfishness and that is why negotiation is consider a skill which needs a lot of practice after learning it.

?4: Persuasion:?It is the final process of negation. When we try to negotiate then we must discuss and keep important points specially in support of our views. For this reason, an understanding of the person with whom we are going to deal also becomes important. What are his likes and dislikes, how he take a specific situation and many more come into picture. With all this we must use sentences according to him/her. Under all this what becomes crucial is that we must always think about a win-win situation that it should be helpful for both sides and not only one. We can neither incur loss for others’ benefit nor others should be ignored for the sake of our benefits. That’s the reason that it is also a skill and like negotiation we must practice it after learning.

?Returning to social skills, one must have to be aware of different behaviors that are considered social and anti-social. The same behavior can be opposite in two different countries or societies. For example, I was born in Bihar where it is not essential to bathe every day specially during winters. But in Bengal where I have been staying from childhood, not bathing daily is considered very unhygienic even though the temperature is in minus. There are some of the most important social skills and mere knowing them is not enough but first realizing that how you are using them subconsciously and then trying to improve them with practice becomes crucial:

??1: Maintaining Eye Contact:?While talking with people avoiding eye contact gives many negative signals about you. To have a good social bondage, you cannot avoid this simple and yet powerful habit. It is not hard to maintain eye contact but honestly it is not very easy either. It is important to give gently eye contact with normal and frequent gazes. Looking directly into eyes is also crucial. While talking to females, looking at other part of body than face is considered very offensive and sexism.

??2: Use Proper Body Language:?Gestures and Postures which can shortly be termed as body language also play considerable role in making an effective deal social communication. Using correct body language makes many positive and powerful impacts while avoiding and using wrong body language makes a negative impression. This can be bad especially when you do not intend to show any such negative impression because lack of knowledge leads to it. While using body language, once again keeping the normalcy becomes crucial. Many people have been seen using body language so well that it crosses the natural boundary and thus it once again becomes negative.

??3: Know the Difference Between Being Assertive and Being Aggressive:?Being assertive with our beliefs is as important as not being aggressive. This means there is a balance between the two and while crossing these harshly becomes very negative, at the same time becoming too flexible with assertiveness plays a negative role. It is our right to stick to our beliefs as much as it is others right to stick to theirs. This means that there is a limit and knowing it becomes really very important. Still, there will be people who will not agree to our opinion irrespective of how practical or true it is to us. In that case assertively defending our beliefs is fine. But that does not mean to cross the limit and start arguing disrespectfully or even worsening. If someone is doing it then we should cut the conversation short immediately. This may seem to be your subjugation in short term, but in long term people will come to know how ethical you are.

???4: Flexibility and Cooperation:?Being flexible means to ensure the survival under any circumstances. This is an essential skill to deal with any situation no matter how challenging it is. Similarly, learning to cooperate is fundamental to be successful and live happily. For example, in breakfast if the bread is burnt then it is a choice to be frustrated and shout and make the whole day cantankerous, or simply to understand that sometimes we all tend to make mistakes and to err is human. In this way we cooperate and ensure that our day is going to be smooth.

??5: Dealing With Criticism:?We all reluctantly face criticism not matter how great we are. It is easy to give to write tips to deal with them than dealing with them personally. Sometimes, it comes from a person who does not seem to be in that list. The reality is that it is partly human nature to talk about others and if we want it to be better than we must make sure that we are not talking about anyone behind in a way that can be hard for the person to accept. But very frequently we do it. Sometimes, the intention is not bad but when presented to the person by others, then the method of explanation makes it bad. To deal with criticism there are only two effective ways:

????????????5A: Observe if the stated criticism really exists. If yes, then find out ways to improve it.

????????????5B: If the answer is no then please ignore. Sometimes, it may be tough to accept. In that case you can contact the person and inform him/her that you have heard it. But please remember that this kind of situation can be very sensitive and needs to be handled very carefully.

??6: Be Teachable:?When you are suggested for some changes it is important to understand the intention of the person. If not clear, then it can be taken positively and hence start looking for improvement. Making a mistake is not discouraging but not improving can be so. Being a student of life can be the greatest source of learning. It will infuse many skills that will help you to improve relationship, professionalism, and social values. When recommended something to improve just think that if you really improvement here then accepting and being thankful to the person will lead you to become a better version of yourself. Certainly, everyone wants to interact and be associated with those who are better than us in every aspect of life.

?7: Show Respect to Others:?Being respectful to others is very easy and the result it brings is glorious. No matter how educated you are, how intelligent you consider of yourself and how much resourceful you are just remembering that you will never be ahead of those who are ahead of you by any means. So being respectful to those who are ahead of you will enhance your respect and you will be considered gentle and really educated. We can never compare two people of even the same position coming even from the same circumstances because while things were common for them but still there must be many things that were different, and their impact was different as well. Even the same situation can be differently conceived by two different people and hence it will impact them differently based on their perception.

??8:?Be Human: While on the path of learning and becoming better many people consider that making mistake is not affordable. It is better to be honestly failure while dealing with others than succeeding with deceits. For this, leaving the room for error is vital. We learn so much from our error practically compared to our right decisions. We can accept our errors graciously than faking to be errorless. This may sound negative in the short run but in long run we win other’s trust, and we are considered reliable.

???As mentioned earlier that these skills sound to be very easy to follow but practicing and sticking to them under different circumstances becomes really challenging. This can be improved with practice and experience. For this the first step becomes our current subconscious behaviors in these regards. Start should be made from there to come to this end of fruitful conclusion.?

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