Social Skills for Introverts!

The social introvert often says “OMG I feel so awkward.” Is this you?

When you look around and chat with people, do you ask yourself: Why can't I be as carefree as they are? Am I a boring person? Do people think I'm weird? Am I unlikable? 

Hanging out in groups, unexpected phone calls, or being put on the spot, seemingly little things that may not bother other people, bother introverts. These situations make introverts feel tired, irritable, and even physically unwell.

Every time you want to talk to someone interesting or attractive at a social event, meeting or in a public setting, you have no idea how to start the conversation. It seems like a challenge. How do you overcome it? 

I'll share 5 tips with you to becoming more socially comfortable as an introvert. 

After taking the first step, everything will get easier.

?#1: Prepare topics in advance

It is not difficult to find that on social occasions some topics resonate with many people, such as the NBA playoffs, the Australian Open, or the current blockbuster movie. However, if you are introverted, you often find yourself embarrassed because of not being able to find an interesting topic to discuss. It is recommended to observe which topics resonate the most in everyday life or when attending an event. The next time you don’t know how to start, the topics will be at your fingertips. 

#2: Set goals for the day/setting

It's usually a little awkward during the first few minutes of a social event because people tend to focus all their attention on the social butterflies from the start. Don't feel awkward because of the excellence of others. It's important to set goals that you can achieve step by step. For example, if you attend a conference you could set the goal of introducing yourself to 3-5 new people. In this way, your connections will slowly increase, your experiences communicating will continue to improve and so will your network management skills.

#3: Creating deeper connections

"Socializing" is actually social communication, so to successfully complete this task, it is necessary to think about how to connect with the other person mentally. Even though you may know a lot, it’s more important to get to know and understand the views or interests of others and this way you can discover similar views, interests and expertise you have in common. When other people know your interests and pursuits, together you can join various clubs and related social media. This will not only make your contact with people more natural, but will also help you to develop many friendships directly and indirectly from the interested side.

#4: Finding referrals around you

The art of conversation is not something everyone can master, and it is also the main factor in why a person never realizes a friendship. Meeting in person sometimes makes a better impression. In Chinese culture, we always use an expression called "three-point love" (見面三分情). In a case like this, if your friend who has a lot of other friends, takes you through all corners of social activities and introduces you to his friends, not only could the other parties respond with a friendlier attitude but it further reduces the risk of embarrassment.

#5: Let the text speak for you

The so-called "introverts" in particular refer to those who are not good at expressing themselves in front of everyone. In the process of progress, modern communication media can be appropriately used to let words “speak” for you. For example, after simple greetings and the exchange of contact information, at the end of the event you could walk away with email, Line, or Facebook to continue communicating.

There are a few workplace suggestions for introverts (I'll list three):

Scenario 1. How does an introvert succeed as a leader in group activities?

The key point is: You can be introverted but don't be timid.

The suggestion is: You don't need to be very outgoing and talkative, but you need to know how to actively create opportunities to give you room to listen first, digest slowly, and then talk.

Scenario 2. How does an introvert to prepare for public speech?

The key point is: Get out of your comfort zone and be overly prepared.

The suggestion is: The way to prepare a speech is first write the outline, fill in the verbatim, repeat it, and talk to trusted friends. You don't just have to recite it fluently, but you have to be familiar with it, and then you could say it almost subconsciously.

Scenario 3. How does an introvert to communicate with his boss in relation to a specific issue or certain projects?

The key point is: Write first, then talk.

The suggestion is: Before proactively communicating with your boss, you should first prepare a one-page streamlined slide show or a paragraph of text, and make good use of the 5W1H method, the comparison method: before and after the difference, (pro and cons) and the comparison method between superiority and inferiority to figure out your demands and priorities.

Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Is socializing easy or difficult for you? What is most difficult? Share a challenging moment in your work life with me in the comments below. 

#introvert #extrovert #socialskills #positivethinking #networking #worklife