I Can't, I'm Too Afraid

Often, empaths and highly sensitive people are stopped from success and happiness because of their fears of being criticized, misunderstood, or ignored. It is not their fault. They have not been valued by society. Their highly sensitive brains grok so much more than the average person that they can overreact to life with more intensity and anxiety. Those born with extra mirror neurons and other more sensitive parts of the brain process many more times the data than the other 80% of the population. Being a sensitive person pummels you repeatedly with rejection for being "different." Sometimes, the words of rejection are silent but the looks and the actions of non-sensitives can be devastating.

I know this from experience, even though I didn't know why I felt I didn't belong. Most of my younger years were spent in an extremely prosperous place called Westwood Village in West Los Angeles. The affluent and powerful of the entertainment industry were down the block and around the corner. Agents here, producers there, child actors sprinkled in beautiful homes all around me. We moved to Westwood when I was six and went to a wonderful, progressive elementary school with children of wealth and privilege. I was intimidated by their privilege but more than that I would get anxious when around too many people. I didn't know until recently that sensitive people can get overwhelmed in crowds so my response was to hang out with only a few chosen friends. I was not one of the popular kids.

My family life was challenging, as well. I was the only sensitive person in our family and I could see and feel that they were unhappy but unwilling to let down their guard and be vulnerable or emotionally honest. I felt that my mom and dad were bursting at the seams to take off their masks and shared their humanness but they didn't. They played their roles and kept their loneliness to themselves. I lived in a house of secrets. Because I could see what was going on, I was forced to go through their drawers to find out what was really happening in my home. To my great surprise during one of these secret missions, I found out that my wonderful father was not my real father after finding their hidden wedding album in his closet dated two years after my birth. I was so shocked I never told my parents what I had found because my prime directive was silence. I suffered great fear and anxiety from that moment forward.

I was in reality a very joyful child but when I didn't express anything but approved topics like school because I would get teased for being too smart, joyful, or enthusiastic. I swallowed my anger, my joy, my insights, and my love just to stay alive. The most painful thing in life for empaths or highly sensitive people is keeping love to themselves. It turns into anxiety and depression. I became a sullen child, except in school where my extraordinary insights and intuitions got me good grades. That was the only place I could express myself and my curiosity about life. At home, I experienced emotional abandonment and received little advice about how to live life or received any positive emotional confirmation. This taught me that I had little value. I had no idea that my intellect and heart were precious gifts that would have given me a great start in life.

I could have been a windup doll in my home instead of this wonderful little girl forced to live this perfect mascarade. This might sound radical, but I didn't feel I existed. When sensitive children do not get positive emotional reinforcement, they don't feel seen as their emotions are a huge part of the way they experience aliveness. I shrank my energy and dumbed down just to survive. I backed away from life and it took years before I could allow myself to be seen and heard. I was the great actress, the charming girl who was lost and scared but no one knew my inner heartbreak or terror of finding ways to navigate life. Fear became my guidance system. If I felt fear, I would run the other way from classes, careers, jobs, and love.

This could be the story of any sensitive person, many of who had the same feeling that they didn't belong on this planet. Flight, flight, or freeze, the trifecta pulsed from our sensitive amygdala keeping us bound to false beliefs that we have no value. Therefore, our response to life is "But I can't, I'm too afraid."

?I was successful and creative at many things in my life but not for long as the anxiety would tell me to quit when it got too severe. I am so grateful that I am now fully able to be myself and welcome my sensitivity as its gifts are directing me on a long path to the life I have longed to live. Love is possible. Success is possible. Happiness is possible and also great freedom.

?Unfortunately, many sensitive people still believe they are emotionally sick or unworthy or unable to live like normal people so they isolate and settle for less love, fulfillment, and money. I understand because I have been there. Believing you are worthy and learning to manage sensitivity is a path that will open doors to expression, peace of mind, and self -confidence. I can show empaths and highly sensitive people how to begin that journey.

?Sensitive, if you have been kept small by your fears and false beliefs, please review the information on my website. I am available for a free half-hour discovery session to help begin the transformation from fear-based emotional, mental, and physical patterns to heart-based living. Go to: www.trueheartraining.com/book-now and pick a convenient day and time as your first step on your journey to self-love and empowerment.

I Wish All of You a Very Happy Thanksgiving.