Social Media on Your Terms

"I hate Facebook!"

That was me, making a stand against social media, from its very inception until about a year ago. I thought ALL of the various social channels were frivolous time-hoovers that made us culturally vapid and socially awkward. I took a principled (if slightly self-important) stance against broadcasting personal minutiae to perfect strangers and prided myself on not having a social media presence at all.

But then, oh but then, something happened...

No, I didn't get addicted to Twitter or Pinterest and pulled into the mindless social-scroll. What happened instead was that in conversation after conversation, presentation after presentation, people kept asking me how they could find more of me and my material. And I realized that the answer was an inefficient one for me and an unsatisfying one for the asker: "Whenever we're in the same room again."

And I realized that if I wanted to help more people (which I do) and wanted to share my message with a broader audience (which I do) and wanted to have as much of a positive impact as possible on as many people as possible (which I most definitely do), then I had to suck it up and enter the social media ring. I had to give in to Mark Zuckerberg.

And man, was it hard! I am an outgoing person, but a fiercely private one. I fought, complained, abandoned, and struggled with social media for months. I would send one post on Facebook and then go quiet for weeks. I would share one article on LinkedIn and then it would be crickets. I would make a batch of videos for You Tube and then neglect to make more.

It took time, and practice, and experimenting before I found a rhythm that worked for me. And it took one key ah-ha realization to seal my social media fate: I told myself that I didn't have to become what I hated, and that I could use social media on my terms (regardless of whether that conflicted with the advice of social media "gurus").

And my terms were that I would only share what I thought was valuable, insightful, thought-provoking, inspiring, uplifting, or fun, or I wouldn't share at all. That was my "deal with the devil." That was how I made my peace with You Tube, and all the other social outlets out there.

And the other ah-ha realization was that I could choose only one or two channels to get really good at and then leave the rest to the wind. I didn't have to do them all. So I chose newsletters (I love to write, and you guys are so engaged!) and videos (You Tube for now, but considering IGTV). 

And the thing I re-learned is that technology is just a tool. It is value-neutral and should be emotion-neutral, too. We can use it for good or for ill, for banality or profundity. And we can choose to follow how the crowd uses it and become something we might hate, or we can use it on our own terms and support who we are inside.

We get to choose how -- or if -- we use any of the tools at our disposal. And we get to do it on our terms.

#Choice

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