Social Media - The Harsh Reality

Having taken the decision to deactivate my Facebook account 3 weeks ago, I felt compelled to share some of my observations, feelings and thoughts on the profound impact this has already had on my life.

As a recruitment business owner, I'm very cognisant of the importance and clear advantages of Social Media and Social Networking. Social Media sites help employers find employees, and job-seekers find work. To assist their hiring most companies are on at least two social networks because of the wider pool of applicants and more efficient searching capabilities. Many recruiters have hired employees through LinkedIn, Facebook, and Twitter and increasingly job-seekers credit these social media platforms for helping find their current job.

Being a part of a social networking site in the right way, and with the right balance can increase a person's quality of life. Friends on social media can have a "contagion" effect, promoting and helping with exercise, dieting, and health goals for example.

Social networking sites can also help to facilitate face-to-face interaction and help you get to know people before personal, business, and other meetings. Be it an old friend, colleague or business prospect, with worldwide connectivity there is no easier or faster way to make a connection than social media. Although Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram are probably the most well-known social networking communities, new websites and platforms are popping up regularly that let people connect and interact over the Web, which can have a multiplying effect.

Paradoxically Social Media sites in general can make it more difficult for us to distinguish between the meaningful relationships we foster in the real world, and the numerous casual relationships formed through social media. By focusing so much of our time and psychic energy on these less meaningful relationships, our most important connections suffer. It is a fact that more people suffer from depression who are excessive Social Media users than those who are not

Simon Sinek states that like with smoking, alcohol and gambling, excessive use of Social Media is addictive and destructive. Dopamine in our brain is released in the same way when we smoke, drink or gamble, and causes the same reaction to the brain when we receive a like or a response back on Social Media. It feels good and we tend to crave the same feeling again and again, or wait in anticipation for the next like or response back, putting everything else on hold for the next dopamine hit. When this short term good feeling is with us we feel better about ourselves.

The long-term consequences however can result in a lack of deep and meaningful relationships, depression and a lack of fulfilment. Staring into our phones daily rather than our partner’s eyes and engaging in face to face conversation for example, can disrupt communication, and cause relationships to eventually break down.

When suffering from social stress, financial stress or career stress for example, reaching for Facebook or a similar SoMe platform can have the same effect as reaching for the bottle, the cigarettes, or running to the bookies if we are not aware of the psychological damage it can cause us. Often Social Media plays the role of the human in times of trauma, and instead of reaching out to a loved one or close friend, a stint on Social Media will soon make us feel better or so we think, but in truth it doesn’t help or resolve the real issue we may be facing.

Social Media is the most popular use of the Internet, surpassing email. Smartphones and other mobile devices seem to be the driving force behind this trend with 60 percent of traffic from a mobile source. A recent poll shows that 28 percent of our time is spent online is on social networks! With these type of numbers, some of the time spent on social media occurs at work. When these visits are for non-work related activity, it can cost companies money through lost productivity. A report on Forbes states that 89 percent of responders admitted to wasting time on social media while at work.

While many businesses use social networking sites to find and communicate with clients, the sites can also prove a great distraction to employees who may show more interest in what their friends are posting than in their work tasks. Wired.com posted two studies which demonstrated damage to productivity caused by social networking: Nucleus Research reported that Facebook shaves 1.5% off office productivity while Morse claimed that British companies lost 2.2 billion a year to the social phenomenon. New technology products have become available that allow social networks to be blocked, but their effectiveness remains spotty.

The demands and current landscape of instant gratification where we can book a holiday in an instant and get same or next day delivery on pretty much anything we want, is culminating in a lack of true fulfilment, joy and real happiness. The strength of true long term relationships or long-term career satisfaction can be forgotten or seem too challenging or time consuming. Through no fault of their own, the younger generation have been brought up on instant gratification and being able to get what they want when they want, effectively at a touch of a button. Sustained, long term hard work to achieve an end goal is extremely fulfilling, to some it can seem too challenging and certainly not worth the pain or time, especially if everything else seems so easily accessible and attainable in the short term. 

In our world today it is our responsibility as parents, leaders and organisations to teach our peers, colleagues, employees, and children the social skills required to build true relationships, true success, true fulfilment and ultimately complete trust in ourselves and eachother. It can start with little things like no mobile phones during meal times, at restaurants, in conference or management meetings, or whilst we might be engaging with a new colleague or potential business partners on the way to a meeting. The conversations you might have during those moments could be game changing events, idea’s or a platform for other opportunities and innovation that just wouldn’t have materialised if you reached for the phone to check the latest tweet, post or selfie instead.

The reality for me over the last 3 weeks has been stark. I have already noticed far more interaction between my family face to face, spending time engaging with my kids, paying full and complete attention to them and their needs, rather than the latest post or picture on Facebook. Playing with them whilst not being distracted by the latest Social Media activity has been extremely rewarding. In this short space of time I can say it has already been transformative, communication has improved immensely, we have much more time on our hands, we are early for everything, generally our minds have been focussed more on ourselves and our families, how we can improve and what we are going to do each day. There have been much more collaborative discussions that everyone has contributed to. At the breakfast table, we start the day with a conversation about what we are doing today, our how we are feeling, devoid of any distraction or desire to immediately checkout what other people are doing on Social Media right now!

We have all acknowledged several times over this short period that spending most of our spare time glued to our phone screens scouring whichever SoMe platform to catch up on what everyone else is doing with their lives has a negative impact. Instead focussing more time on our own lives and real social interaction as a family unit without distraction of others and managing the SoMe time in a better more healthy way has a very positive impact. Having seen the outcome of balancing my time better, using SoMe in the right way, at the right time and for the right purpose whilst being in control of the amount I am using it has resulted in a much more inclusive and balanced home life. We have found ourselves much more engaged, happy, and enjoying the moment. We have picked up the phone to physically talk to our friends and family rather message them, spent more time outside and talking face to face to new people and maximised the little quality time we do have to great effect.

In conclusion, we all have busy lives, be it with work commitments, kids, or whatever it is that takes up our time.

I have learnt over the last few weeks that using Social Media in the right way can be a very positive thing, but over indulgence and disregard for the negative impact it has can be destructive. I concede that with the challenges of the digital world and the technology abundant era we currently live in, it is almost impossible not to be an avid consumer of the latest, device, platform, or app, but like with most things in life striking the right balance is key.

True partnerships, meaningful relationships, joy and fulfilment takes time, takes courage, takes hard work, takes commitment, takes effective communication, and it also takes patience. My new year’s resolution is to keep that firmly in mind and to take time out from needing to know immediately what my Social Media traffic is doing, remembering to understand what is the most important thing at that moment, as well as what impact my choices have on me and others in the long term 

https://uk.linkedin.com/in/itschrisoconnell

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