Social Leadership And Being Likeable

You’re that likeable guy or gal. Everyone seems drawn to you and the word for this is really charisma, right? You are charismatic in how you talk to people, and it makes people want to be around you. It makes people want to interact with you, be your friend and be part of your team.

As we see those people in our lives, we compare ourselves to them. We think that they’re so good at talking to people. They’re so natural at relating to people. You will hear yourself saying:

“I can never be like that” or “That’s just not my personality, so therefore I cannot be a great leader.”

You get into this comparison game, and I’m here to tell you that that is absolutely not the truth.

You make this assumption that people are natural leaders because they are charismatic or because they’re likeable, and the reality is that’s just wrong. Just because you’re not that type does not mean that you cannot be an effective and amazing leader in your organization.

Certainly those types of personalities have a bit of an advantage, especially if you’re on the other side of that spectrum of charisma and being that extrovert. Somebody that is naturally a people person wants to go up and talk with people, get to know them and make them feel welcome.

They do have an advantage because they don’t have to deal with that barrier or that fear of talking and connecting to other people, especially strangers. However, there are techniques, words and actions that you can use purposely to become a more effective leader if you’re not that type of person.

Let’s use the following basic assumption of what is a natural leader.

They are a lot of times worried about being liked by other people and when it comes time to enforce rules or standards, they’re less willing or able to do that because of fear. The fear of having to write a letter of reprimand or else.

Maybe they’re more lenient or let themselves get walked over because they’re more concerned about being likeable. That’s what gives them satisfaction.

A lot of times you’ll see this comes into play with business owners in the types of people that they’ve hired. You’ll see that they’ve hired their friends, their family members and people that they already have relationships with. It’s simply easier, right?

Who doesn’t want to work with somebody that you already have an established relationship with? You know each other better than a stranger. You don’t have to go through that process of figuring each other out.

I’m sure you could probably think of a business owner that has nothing but their high school buddies that work with them. They’ve brought them onto the scene because it’s an available pool they think they get to draw from.

They assume it’s going to be this phenomenal work and business relationship because of their existing great social or family relationship.

More often than not, that is just not the case because those family dynamics and those existing friendship type of dynamics are so difficult to overcome unless you are so perfectly aligned in your intentions, your goals and your expectations of effort.

That becomes almost a hindrance.

Even though there are techniques, actions and words you can use to turn yourself into a phenomenally great leader, there is a catch. You must be genuine. You must be sincere in your desire to do so and the actions you take.

It can’t be out of just checking the box without that behind-the-scenes connection aspect of it. It can’t just be like: “Oh, I’m supposed to call you by your first name, so I’m just going to always call you by your first name.”

We are ultimately social beings and we desire that connection.

So the good news is as you go through these processes and you start implementing these techniques and these actions, and you’re genuine about the whole thing, you start to have these small successes.

People start to reciprocate back to you. They call you by your name and they give you compliments. You’re building these relationships around your business instead of around some external social activity.

These successes start building on themselves, and they certainly start building on you to where it becomes more natural to you. It becomes a part of who you are as a leader because you are continually doing these things and getting that feedback and you’re adjusting to it.

Soon enough you become that person who you thought about previously that you could never be like them. Then you become that to other people. Other people start looking at you like you’re such a natural leader.

When in reality, you know, as the business leader, that you’ve gone through this process and you’ve put work and effort into it. You understand that the payoff is pretty incredible.

Then as that happens with you becoming that natural leader, people start to follow you. They start to interact with you on a different meaning, in a different way in order for your business to grow, and you certainly build more effective teams.

I hope that makes sense that you don’t have to be that naturally charismatic leader to be the best leader you can be.

Please share with us if you believed prior to this article that those charismatic leaders were very privileged and you had no way to reach their level. What do you think you can personally do to change that looking forward?

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