Social Emotional Learning: Friend or Foe?

Teaching ‘social emotional learning’ to middle school students and teenagers is getting a lot of backlash lately.??

What is it???

The intention is provide kids with competence around?self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, and responsible decision-making.??This means teaching them the skills of community-building, belonging, emotional safety, problem-solving, and student-centered discipline.??No, it doesn't mean teaching them how to become a part of the LBGTQ+ community. Children who lack social emotional skills are at a higher risk of developing anxiety, depression, and other mental health disorders.?

The inability to manage emotions and build supportive relationships can create a sense of loneliness and low self-esteem, contributing to long-term psychological issues including depression, self-harm, and anti-social behavior.??

In today’s post-COVID world of social media mania, the CDC (Centers for Disease Control) conducted a 2021 study of 17K teenage students and among girls, 30 percent said they seriously considered?attempting suicide, double the rate among boys and up almost 60 percent from a decade ago.

https://www.pbs.org/newshour/amp/health/cdc-data-shows-u-s-teen-girls-in-crisis-with-unprecedented-rise-in-suicidal-behavior

So why is social-emotional learning (SEL) and the teaching of community building, critical thinking, and managing emotions so destructive to our teens???Because as leaders, we haven’t taught these skills to ourselves, parents and adults.

We currently don’t have the tools to be able to handle a teen who can think for themselves, who ask questions, set boundaries or assert themselves—what we adults and leaders complain the most about today’s working generations.? I hear again and again that we've raised a generation of 'wimps' and 'anti-social' adults who cannot start or carry a conversation. We wonder, 'Why can't they make decisions for themselves?'

Instead, we see independence as threatening to our authority and this makes our job as parents more difficult.??We can’t have it both ways. Yes, a thinking, emotionally regulated child will be more likely to question, speak their mind, form opinions, and be contrary.??This is a part of growing up.??But that same teen, when they engage these skills, is more likely to thrive in a hyperactive hyperbolic society that is relentlessly barraging them with toxic messages and behaviors that are difficult to navigate and manage alone.

When you build a team at work, the biggest compliment to your leadership is that your team becomes autonomous.??You do that through delegation, asking them to ask themselves questions, and to give them difficult experiences that shape their ability to think and solve problems on their own.??This is no different at home.

Without investing in social-emotional skills, society and the workplace will continue to create isolated workers who cannot build relationships and curtail the growing tide of anxiety and anxiousness prevalent among our teenagers today.??We see the impact of this with more and more remote work options, poor work performance, and declining stamina and productivity.??

In our labor force, we need more workers who can work collaboratively, create social-emotional bonds (what leaders call influence without authority), and be able to take that emotional intelligence to innovate, anticipate, and create the technologies, products, and markets of the future.

One last legitimate question is, ‘Are our teachers equipped to teach these skills to our kids?’??Sadly, the answer in many school districts is no.??Many teachers are thrown into SEL without the proper training, funding, or without including the parents in understanding and engaging in these skills and behaviors together.??

But the attack and disbandment of SEL will lead to more of what we have today.??Children growing into adults unable to regulate their emotions, build productive relationships, or think critically and instead become complacent, depressed, angry, and addicted.??

The entirety of this burden should not land on the shoulders of teachers.??If we want to address the epidemic of mental health problems among teens all of us need to step up.??We need to get more involved as parents and leaders, to understand what is being taught and ask ourselves, "How can I be more a part of this change?"

Joe Tria, CEO

The Executive Coaching Corner, Chicago, IL