Social Creatures

As social creatures, relationships are what truly shape us.

Generally, I have always been a person who valued relationships, but I also know when to let some go. Some relationships or connections can do more harm than good for you and the other person.

Here is a quick story:

Recently the mother of a great friend passed away. Sam knew it was coming, his mother had cancer for some time, but that still didn't make it any easier.

I met with Sam on a Sunday to borrow some camera gear for a video shoot, and we talked about it.

On Tuesday, Sam posted his mother had passed. I saw the post as I was getting ready to leave the office. Sam has a great way with words, and his post about and to his mother was very touching if not heartbreaking.

As I drove home, I started to cry .... for Sam.

I had never met his mother, and Sam seemed fine, knowing she would not be in pain anymore, but since he is one of my guys... I cried.

I cried more for the passing of Sam's mother than I did when my own father passed. That is sad.

The relationship that Sam and I have is pretty strong, and that is because it is a two-sided one. The relationship I had with my father was truly about a half side, not one-sided... but half sided. We were just different people, at different times, living different lives.

I know from my family, that my father was difficult, but yet caring. It just didn't ring true to me. I did not see too much of the caring, but more of the difficult.

Either way, the relationship was there, just not strong. Not like the one I have with Sam.

I do value so many relationships, and I use some things I have learned in the past to truly try to make them better when they are two-sided.

The three ways that I use, can help strengthen relationships with anyone you know or value. It does not have to be personal.. It can be at work, or as a client.

Relationships are where we can make true connections with people.

Three ways to strengthen any relationship from ME

Remember things that are important to that person

To me, it is always the right thing to do to remember things that impact, positively or negatively someone else's life. Document if you have to, but this is one great way to stay present with them. Make it an inside joke, comment on, ask if they need help with it. Whatever you have noticed that made your connection react, remember it to use later.

Then use it.

Be genuine & trustworthy

Being genuine is just who I am, I may hide some feelings, but I am who I am. When I with my wife, or Sam, I am who I am. It does not change. This helps to build the trust that a person needs to connect with you. I know that some people are different around people, changing the way they are to fit the mold of that person and that time, but this is a tough way to live your life.

Be you, be unapologetically you, and the connections will come.

When the time is right... Listen.

Yes, being a good listener is important to so many aspects, but in some relationships, they want you to be supportive, positive, and present. I know in my world, I do not share a lot, so when I do, I want someone to listen, when the time is right. It is also helpful to tie in the two above, Remembering what someone needs you to listen to and being genuine in that conversation that they need you to listen in.

I am not a psychologist, and I have had some bad connections in life and I have moved on, but the ones I value, the ones that mean a lot to me, this is how I foster them.

How do you foster your relationships and connections?