Social Conectedness v. Loneliness
Loneliness is an epidemic. So says the Surgeon General of the US, Vivek Murthy. His article is remarkably personal. This one will be too, eventually. Meanwhile I want to hearken back to some other articles I've written on the Social Determinants of Health.
Then at the end I've provided a link to a National Academy of Science publication about loneliness and health.
Our health depends on the physic health of the society around us. Artifacts of pre-pandemic life like having meals with friends, attending professional conferences, and chatting with a stranger while standing in line may seem less pressing now that we’ve gone so long without them. That's not a woke statement or a suggestion about how to stay one step ahead of AI.
The connection between health and social connectedness is born out by research. But here comes the personal part.
I have immunity to the worst effects of loneliness because I belong to a church. (What I'm saying would be the same in any responsible/responsive faith community.) Honestly, let's skip the whole salvation issue. Communities of faith have validity on this earth, here, today. I know I can go anywhere, move anywhere and have an instant group of acquaintances any of whom could grow into a permanent friendship. They're the ultimate insurance group. Some churches can provide monetary help. More important than that, they provide practical help and access to experienced professionals.
Many years ago, I was widowed. I ended up on the verge of bankruptcy with a two-year old. My career was hanging by a thread. People I barely knew came (seemingly) from nowhere to help me and my exhausted, grieving extended family. There was a bucket brigade feeding us, counseling me, and opening up my bills with me, organizing them in piles and helping me figure out how to move forward. This went on for months. Things turned out okay. My daughter grew up to be a happy, stable operations manager enjoying life in Brooklyn.
Except that the help wasn't from "nowhere". The practical support, the clinical support and the technical support navigating insurance and finances were all from members of churches my husband or I had attended. That's right - friends of my husband stepped up to help his widow. I could never repay that help. No one expected me to. They were pleased I was grateful, but then went on with their lives. They'd paid it forward. Mission accomplished.
I guess I'm lucky that I like church. I find singing raises my spirits. I like the calm atmosphere and the weekly date with friends at coffee hour. Cooking dinner has a spiritual aspect to it when it will be shared with someone just out of the hospital. So its easy for me to say, "Why wouldn't everyone join a faith community?" There must be reasons.
For those who are struck by loneliness though, you could do worse than showing up for services (online or in person) and seeing where that takes you. Allergic to Christianity? Try Rotary Club or a Garden Club or a Cycling Club. Those who can take the time for team sports — soccer, tennis, pickleball, volleyball, basketball, softball, etc. — reported the lowest self-reported mental health burden. Just know this - as an adult it takes a long time to get to know people. Especially if you're meeting up infrequently.
People who got their exercise in the form of popular.
Anyhow - it's time to wrap! Grace and Peace! #techstevedore