Social Comparison: a founders friend or foe?

How do you know how you are doing in life ? - there are often no objective criteria for evaluation for most of what we do in our day to day.? Whilst there may be objective measures for a given task, most of the time there are no truly objective measures for success.

This is where we often turn our attention to our friends, our neighbours, our competitors, that is to social comparison.? Social Comparison Theory (Festinger, 1945) holds the idea that people evaluate their own achievements, abilities, opinions and values by comparing to those of others. The belief is that we are unable to self-judge ourselves accurately and therefore rely on comparison to form an evaluation of ourselves and set benchmarks. It’s thought to be a source of competitive behaviour, innate and protective, sizing ourselves up to potential competition happening implicitly when we encounter relevant information about others.

Whilst founders will have their own definitions of success, their own benchmarks, their own personal and professional milestones and KPIs, by nature founders operate in highly competitive environments, having to monitor signals from others and be responsive in order to stay ahead of the curve and attract attention from consumers and investors.

In light of this, social comparison is perhaps even more so heightened in the startup context.?

?“Whether knowingly or unknowingly, I compare myself as a founder and my performance to how far someone is, how much they have raised, what approach they have taken, what pace they are executing. People often say, don’t compare yourself to others, but when you are playing in the same arena, competing in the same race, it’s so hard to just focus on your own journey and progress”

A help or a hindrance?

So, if social comparison is often how we evaluate ourselves and our success, then the question arises, does this help or hinder??

?Let’s unpack this.

Research has identified two forms of social comparison; upward social comparison and downward social comparison. Both forms can result in positive and negative outcomes.

Upward Social Comparison

Upward social comparison happens when we compare ourselves to someone who is perceived to be or performing better than we are. This is the most typical comparison, which is not surprising considering most of us would like to know how we are doing compared to others who appear to be better off.

These upward comparisons can be positive when they inspire and motivate us to strive towards new heights and carve a clearer path. For example, a role model you aim to emulate may help you define goals, drive you to innovate, or to focus on improving your knowledge and skills. However when it is not productive is when these comparisons serve to demotivate or make you feel inferior and breed negative emotions and behaviours (e.g. envy, guilt, regret).?

Downward Social Comparison

Downward social comparison happens when we compare ourselves to someone who is perceived to be or performing worse than we are. We have all experienced the reassurance we get through this type of comparison. Whilst it may increase empathy and elevate how we feel about our current state (boosting self-esteem and reducing anxiety), it can also cause negative outcomes when it’s a reminder that the situation always has the potential to worsen, a reminder that it can deteriorate.?

Therefore, social comparison is not black and white. It can both help and hinder. Anxiety, despondency and frustration are common responses to comparison, and whilst some people are able to channel this positively into motivation for behaviour change, it can be incredibly difficult to do so. Given that a founders identity is often intrinsically woven into their work and venture, negative effects of social comparison in the startup sphere may hit home even more so. We are going to look at some ways to protect yourself a little further down.

It's important to note that each person differs in their tendencies to make these comparisons and in their affinity for negative/positive responses to comparison. Further, we all fluctuate depending on things like our self-esteem, mood, stress levels, and if you have recently experienced a setback.

The Linkedin Realm

Where and how does social comparison show up in the lives of founder? - let’s take linkedin as a prominent example...

There is no denying that professional networking sites can significantly benefit career developments and startup outcomes through information gathering around latest successes and trends in your field, networking, outreach and visibility, and so forth.?

Yet hand in hand with increased visibility comes more opportunity for social comparison. This is compounded by impression management (whether consciously or subconsciously). We all have the ability to control and be selective and calculated when presenting information about ourselves and our work online. Given the opportunities this networking and visibility can provide, we often put our very best selves forward. So, as you're scrolling through linkedin, you are?more often than not comparing yourself to the carefully curated presentations or highlight reels of others. Using this information, you may find yourself coming to conclusions regarding your overall professional value or feel the impact on your sense of self.

Nevertheless, it is by no means always negative. In speaking to founders, they shared how it is an important means of learning, and in times of hardship it can provide comfort, acceptance, clarity and direction:

“During difficult times, when I was considering stepping away from the startup I founded, seeing vulnerable and candid posts from others in similar positions served to provide comfort, to help me realise it’s okay and to find clarity and direction”

“Comparing myself and my startup journey to others helps me to visualise where and how I can improve, where my approach could be better, where I am unique”

Social comparison on platforms such as linkedin can invoke a range of emotions, both positive and negative - despondency, envy, guilt, inspired, creative, collaborative. Keep this in mind, and start to recognise how and when social comparison may be impacting your sense of self.

How can we protect ourselves

So, in knowing what we know, what can we do to protect ourselves:

1.Self-awareness:?

Whilst social comparison can sometimes be automatic, the first step towards minimising and counteracting these tendencies is to develop self-awareness. Start to understand the role social comparison plays in your life. Learn to recognise how?they are serving you,?how they may be influencing your self-belief and motivation (do they provide inspiration and drive, or do they breed feelings of inferiority).

With self-awareness comes knowing when to disengage. Be mindful of your current situation and times in which you may be more susceptible to the negative effects of social comparison (e.g. high stress, low mood,?following a set-back).

We can also acknowledge that what is presented online is not always an accurate reflection of reality or the whole picture, and therefore we must exercise caution in making comparisons.

2. Learn to learn from, rather than compare to others:

You can observe others and benefit from having role models if you focus on what you can learn from them, rather than how you compare. Those people you look up to or admire have likely never stopped learning.? Maybe start by focusing less so on what others are achieving, and direct your attention to how this is being done.

“ Now, instead of comparing myself, I try to learn from other people’s journeys, what went right, what didn't go so right, why are they doing so well, what approach have they taken, what is it about them and their work that inspire me, and?how can I apply this to myself and my startup”?

3. Gratitude

One of the most common means for buffering against social comparison that breeds feelings of inferiority and self-doubt, is through cultivating gratitude.

There is an abundance of evidence that focusing on gratitude leads to increased positive effect and higher levels of optimism.

One way in which you can practise gratitude is through a gratitude journal. This may look different for each person, but simply, a gratitude journal can be writing down 3-5 things every day that you are grateful for, big or small.

A founder who uses this method explained how they make a conscious effort to list 5 every day, because it forces you to move beyond the obvious and dig a little deeper, stop a little longer.

Social Comparison can be friend or foe, so familiarise yourself with the concept, explore?how it shows up in your life, and be mindful of?how it is serving you at any given time.?

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