Social Adjustments, or How I Knocked Myself Down!

A slap in my face!!! Bam!

My life is all about discovering, accepting, loving, daring, expressing and living my true Self.

So is my work. And I believe I'm doing a GREAT job.

Since I was a kid, I was very creative and persistent in self-expression field. From early teens I did literally everything that my heart desired with a necessary dose of responsibility that kept me safe.

This Thursday we went for a party at our favorite club, where this band is playing my favorite music. 50-ish people inside.

At one point, I most naturally grabbed the singer's microphone, and while he was singing Iggy Pop's "Passenger" I unleashed my voice continuing as Siouxsie. ...Siouxsie's better.

THAT was me! One of my best "me"s ever, as I was shamelessly hitting the highest tones, feeling utterly free!

Did people like it? Some of them said so. Maybe they were just being super polite... and it's irrelevant anyways.

...

Today, I am questioning the authenticity of how I present myself to public.

See, this Instagram video by Miranda July (IG repost by the ultimate queen ?? of authenticity, #juliettelewis), actually came as an invitation to step up to a yet deeper level of being true to my Self, it brought some awareness of my current state.

In my core I am as crazy, as weird, as wild, creative, multi passionate and goofy as these two are.

And I don't express it 100%, especially since recently I started showing up in videos on social media, mostly Instagram.

What I discover I tend doing is suppress my true voice to make it more socially acceptable, nicely put, wrapped up and so on.

I discovered I was being cautious, limited by a discomforting idea of leaving the "wrong" impression, so that people who need my support would actually TRUST my expertise.

Aaannnd... I am also being considerate so that my two boys don't get traumatized with my public expression... Like, kids at school might pick on them ??

Don't get me wrong. I was never fake. Ever.

All of a sudden, I see myself being kind of... responsibly ADJUSTED.

????

Knocked myself down!!

How crappy is that really!!??

Falling for "standards" that I actually fight against all my life!!!

Like, not being fully me will appear more appealing, reliable and "professional"? ?? Hilarious!

SO: no! That's not how I plan to continue. I've just became aware of it, so from now on, I'm showing more self respect.

Live my magic AS IT IS.

So fuck it (no suitable emoji unfortunately)!

I'm ready! I'm starting showing more of me.

And my kids? I'll leave them seek for help once they feel healing and clearing is necessary.

We ALL need to clear our shit occasionally anyways! And today was my turn... again.

For your success,

Zorana

Follow me on IG > zoranalifecoach