The Sobriety Tour

I quit drinking in July of this year. I am 52, and I've enjoyed alcohol for twenty-seven of those years. I didn't really drink in high school or college. I just had other things to do, and drinking wasn't a priority. I started socially drinking when I was about 25 and enjoyed the occasional beer with my buddies. When I got into my career at the age of 27, I was surrounded by a culture that drank socially on all occasions and for every reason imaginable.

We consumed alcohol when we celebrated, to blow off steam, from out of the bottom desk drawers, to greet new clients, and on weekends when we went out to play. I was raised around wine culture; growing up in the foothills of the Sierra Nevada, we were surrounded by family vineyards that had been there for a century. As a child, my mother or grandmother would pack a picnic lunch; we would head to the woods for hiking, fishing, or gathering with friends and stop at a family winery for tasting and lunch.

As an adult who could afford to enjoy wine, I relished reconnecting with the vineyards of my youth. I learned about wine production and how to taste and store it properly. I love wine culture and the travel that comes with it. I dreamed of becoming a sommelier for a short time until I realized it was an entire career path I wouldn't take the time to follow.

As I got older, the pressures of entrepreneurship, recessions, bankruptcy, bills, employees, clients, and daily life turned social drinking into relief drinking. I was finishing off a bottle of wine at home by myself. My wife had stopped drinking a decade earlier because of health issues. A bottle of wine turned into a daily couple of glasses of whisky, and the next thing I knew, I was managing something in my life to try and stave off significant performance and health issues.

I far exceeded the daily recommendations for alcohol consumption, but in general, I was right there with my friends and social circles, especially post-COVID. My business had been moving steadily toward the goals my wife and I had laid out a decade prior. I knew I would have more to take on to meet those goals, and the daily management of alcohol was the thing standing in the way.

I began a PhD program in August of this year. I had worked while my wife was completing her degree. Our vocational choices demand our higher education credentials, so I was following the path. I knew if I didn't empty my cup of something, there would be no room for something new to emerge, so I decided to let alcohol go for now.

I'm on a tour of sorts. I'm taking a year without alcohol to see birthdays, poker nights, holiday parties, New Year's Eve, Christmas Dinner, celebrations, triumphs, and challenges through the lens of being alcohol-free. At the end of this tour, I will reassess my relationship with alcohol. If I can consume it without managing it, then I will. If I find myself in a constant state of dealing with this substance that brings no real benefit to my life and far more burden, then my relationship with alcohol is over. Either way, after a year of seeing the world through sober glasses, my relationship with alcohol is bound to be different.