Sobering Up in All Forms

Reclaiming Your Power by Embracing Your Authentic Self

As women, we’ve grown up in a world that tells us to play by the rules: look a certain way, act a certain way, and fit into a mold that’s been created for us, not by us. We’re told that success, happiness, and fulfillment come from keeping up with the latest trends, maintaining relationships at all costs, and embracing a “wine o’clock” culture. But what happens when we take a step back and realize that these expectations are actually holding us back? What if the key to living authentically and powerfully is in sobering up—not just from alcohol, but from the behaviors and beliefs society pushes onto us?

Let me be real with you—society has set a ridiculously high bar for women, and it’s exhausting. Whether it's juggling work, relationships, or personal achievements, there's always the expectation to do more. For years, I bought into the narrative that alcohol, consumerism, and relationships were the keys to fulfillment. Want to relax? Have a drink. Feeling low? Buy something shiny. Lonely? Find someone—anyone—to fill the void.

But that lifestyle nearly broke me. It wasn’t sustainable. And statistics back it up. Binge drinking among women has increased by 41% over the last two decades, and let’s be honest—advertising is targeting women more than ever, making alcohol look like a reward, a necessity, or even a badge of empowerment. But in reality, it was more like a crutch - especially for me.

The same goes for relationships. Societal pressure to be coupled up is intense, especially as we get older. Nearly 50% of single women report feeling judged for not being in a relationship—imagine that! We’re told that if we’re single, we’re somehow incomplete. I used to buy into that too.

And don’t even get me started on the shopping culture. How many times have we been told that the next thing we buy will make us feel happy or whole? It’s a lie. Research shows that nearly 6% of the population struggles with compulsive buying disorder—and women are more likely to fall into this trap. For a while, I was in that group, trying to shop my way to happiness. But it only led to temporary highs and long-term emptiness. In her book Dress Your Best Life, fashion psychologist Dawnn Karen explains how brands are designed to separate us from our money. She emphasizes that having a plan can prevent impulse shopping, especially if you tend to over-shop. Karen also coined the terms "mood-enhancing dressing" and "dopamine dressing," which can help us use fashion to feel good without falling into the consumerism trap. Her book is absolutely worth a read!

Sobering Up: Not Just About Alcohol

Sobriety for me wasn’t just about quitting alcohol, though that was a huge part of reclaiming my life. It was about stepping back and detoxing from everything society pushes on us—overconsumption, the need to be in a relationship, and the pressure to keep up with the latest trends.

Shopping and relationships were other areas where I needed a reset. I had to ask myself: Did I really need that next trendy piece to feel good? Did I really need someone else to validate my worth? It took some tough inner work to recognize that I was relying on these external things to fill the voids I hadn’t been addressing.

Once I started sobering up from these pressures, I felt lighter—freer. I no longer felt the need to numb myself with things that didn’t serve me. This opened up space for something far more empowering: authenticity. When I stopped numbing myself with distractions, I found my creativity, my confidence, and my power.

Sobering up from these societal pressures is about more than just cutting back on alcohol, shopping, or the need for a partner. It’s about stepping into your authentic self and recognizing that you are enough—right now, without the crutches.

Once I embraced that truth, everything shifted. I started creating my life with intention. By letting go of the distractions, I allowed space for deeper self-awareness, creativity, and true confidence. When we stop numbing ourselves with excess, we become more in tune with who we are at our core. And that’s when we truly shine.

Here are a few ways to begin your journey toward empowerment:

1. Challenge the Narrative: Start questioning the stories you’ve been told about what makes you happy or successful. Do you really need that next glass of wine or the latest trend to feel good? Or is there something deeper that would bring lasting fulfillment?
2. Embrace Sobriety as Freedom: Sobering up from alcohol, overconsumption, and societal pressures isn’t about deprivation—it’s about freedom. It’s giving yourself the space to rediscover your true passions and desires, without distraction.
3. Celebrate Singlehood: If you’re not in a relationship, don’t feel pressured to rush into one. Being single is a powerful time for growth, creativity, and connection with yourself. Studies even suggest that single women report better emotional well-being and higher levels of life satisfaction .
4. Reinvest in What Fills You Up: Once you’ve cleared out the clutter (both emotional and material), take the time to focus on what genuinely fills you up. Is it creativity? Movement? Meditation? Fill your life with things that bring lasting joy, not just momentary distractions.
5. Build a Community of Support: Surround yourself with people who lift you up and celebrate your journey. Whether you’re exploring sobriety, scaling back your shopping habits, or learning to thrive on your own, find a tribe that encourages your growth.

Stepping Into Your True Power

Ultimately, sobering up in all forms is about stripping away the layers that have been placed on us by society, revealing the incredible woman underneath. You are more than the drink in your hand, the clothes on your back, or the relationship you’re in. You are a force of nature, capable of creating a life that feels truly aligned with who you are.

As you begin to shed the habits that no longer serve you, you’ll find that your true power comes not from external validation, but from deep within. This is where you become unstoppable—where your authenticity, strength, and creativity come to the surface. This is the essence of The Maximalist Muse—living life fully, freely, and unapologetically.

So, here’s to sobering up—not just from alcohol, but from everything that holds us back. Because when we do, we reclaim the power that’s always been ours to own.

Sources:

1. Binge drinking statistics for women: NIAAA, "Drinking Patterns and Their Gender Differences Over Time," 2020.
2. Pressure to be in a relationship: Smith, "The Modern Woman and Relationship Expectations," Journal of Gender Studies, 2019.
3. Compulsive shopping disorder: Koran, L. M., "Prevalence of Compulsive Buying Disorder," American Journal of Psychiatry, 2006.
4. Single women’s happiness: DePaulo, B., "Single Women and Life Satisfaction," Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 2018.
5. Dawnn Karen, Dress Your Best Life: How to Use Fashion Psychology to Take Your Look -- and Your Life -- to the Next Level, Little, Brown Spark, 2020.