A soak in 'fertile void' - How my Indonesian massage therapist served as the best supervisor

I am not a massage person. However, as I received a gift certificate for a 3 hour body ritual, part of which was a 90 minute full body massage, all this in a luxury spa in Bali, Indonesia, I accepted the challenge. The overall experience turned out to be the best kind of supervision, and here is why.

Not being a massage person I had my apprehensions as I entered the spa. On the way there I consciously decided to get rid of any preconceptions, let go of all expectations and just allow myself to experience whatever lay ahead. Here came my first surprise. As I entered the spa I received a document I needed to fill out - any areas I would like my therapist to avoid, how strong a massage I want, a male or a female therapist - these were some of the questions I had to consider. - "What, I can't just sit through this and allow it to happen to me, I actually have to make conscious decisions about the process?" - It never occurred to me before that a great massage therapist contracts with their client just like I do as a coach/supervisor. I had to consciously consider all these aspects of my treatment, including the scents of the oils I want and the various kinds of body scrub effects.

Once we were through with the agreements I was escorted by my therapist - a smiling, soft spoken gentleman - to the therapy room where a foot soak was prepared. It was calm, soothing with low lights and soft music playing. He asked me in a soft voice how I was feeling and what brought me to massage therapy. As I was sitting there with my feet soaking I slowly arrived into the experience. I started noticing not just what was around me but what was going on inside me. I noticed how some of my internal resistances started to soften.

After the foot soak we walked into the actual therapy room. Physical spaces have always had a strong effect on me and as I entered this one - the furthest room from the entrance - I felt embraced by the energy of the room. It was soft, warm and efficient. Once I got settled on the massage bed my Indonesian therapist with limited English competence started talking to me in a very low but firm voice: "First I will give you test and you tell me how is pressure, ok?" At this point I was totally in, or so I thought. As I allowed the experience to have its effect on me my mind floated to my work - This is the most beautiful process of making connection with a client, establishing trust and seeking agreement. My clients came to my mind and I started reflecting on my own processes of building trust. How do I take them from the reception space through the foot soak to where the work happens, how do I walk them through the process of the first meeting to where I need a deeper, mutual trust? How do I contract with them to know if the pressure is ok? As I was looking at my own work under a microscope prompted by my actual experience I heard the soft voice of my therapist: "Is pressure ok madame?" - "Yes," I said, "it is perfect". "Ok" he said, "let me know if you want change something."

As his voice died and my awareness floated back from our exchange to the experience of the body my attention zoomed in on another dimension of communication: the touch. There was a constant dialogue between us through our bodies. He was leading me through the process of a full body massage in a way that was much more an invitation than an order, at every step he created the space where, called by my curiosity I wanted to enter. I had complete and utter trust in his lead. But why did I willingly want to go to places where my body was in pain and the treatment was not comfortable? As I reflected parallel on my own work as a helping professional and the experience I was having as a client it became very clear that during the whole process there was not a single moment when I felt abandoned or alone. Through his presence and the constant deep dialogue between his professional touch and my body responding I always felt safe and free to communicate boundaries, even when facing pain and discomfort. This gave me a sense of courage I didn't know I had. He was responsive and stayed with me, helping me work through the more difficult parts. When we confronted pain his reaction was not to say sorry and just quickly move away from that point but rather the connection intensified between us as he used his professional skills to help me work through the painful points. It was a beautiful cooperation, an amazing journey that allowed me to face some painful parts of my body and learn many things about myself that I could never realise without his help.

As the massage treatment ended I received a full body scrub and a flower bath soak - plenty of time and space for allowing the experience to sink in and for me to have closure, reflect and just be with it all. 'This is gestalt's fertile void' I thought to myself as I soaked in the bathtub filled with hot water and flower petals, sipping on coconut water.

As much as I was apprehensive beforehand, this experience has served me very well on multiple levels. I learned a lot about myself as I reflected on it not just as a personal experience but also through a supervisory lens. My takeaway is the need of continuous compassionate dialogue with my client through the various channels of presence - words often create more of a distraction. This is only possible however, if the foundations of the setting, contracting and trust building are all in place.