So, You've Got Cancer
As someone who’s had brain cancer and has “survived and thrived,” I’ve learned a lot about managing the mind through that process. I understand the emotional terrain of serious illness and facing death and disability.
For anyone who has cancer now and wants to do whatever they can to stay on the side of living, there’s some really valuable knowledge you should have. From a point of view of the mind, one needs. . .
A decision to live - This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s common for people with cancer to have had an emotional trauma in the previous year or two before symptoms where they felt like they just gave up on life, or people, or themselves. Even if they are doing everything that they can to live, deep down their heart just isn’t in it. It is possible to heal this and find the deep inner wish and resolve to continue life.
But what if you’re not willing to live unless it’s on your terms?
“I don’t want to be here unless I’m strong and well, have money, am not alone, or someone changes.” This is like the mind saying to the body, “I won’t let you live unless I get what I want.” If this program is running in the background, it needs to be changed so that the mind and body are heading in the same direction: towards life!
A heartfelt purpose to live - But why do we want to live? What works best is to have a heartfelt purpose to live rather than just focusing on things like “proving yourself” through success, status, money, acknowledgement, etc. For many of us that greater purpose is compassion-driven, to look after our children and vulnerable others, or to help others going through the same kind of suffering that we are.
We want to contribute, to help, to make the world a better place while we’re here. For some of us, a life-threatening illness will be the impetus to begin or continue a spiritual path with a greater sense of meaning and deeper purpose. And for others there is the path of creativity, or a path of curiosity about all of life’s experience, a sense of the adventure, meeting the challenge, a path of courage. A greater purpose.
A sense of agency - One of the inner qualities of many long-term survivors is being able to choose the mind’s response to the challenge. It helps to read other people’s survivor stories for inspiration, i.e. “someone did it!” Then you need an inner sense that “I can do it too.”
If you’ve lost basic confidence in yourself, or never had it, that can be changed. It’s possible to move your mind from hopelessness and powerlessness to “if anyone can, I can” or “I’ve got this.” You don’t need to believe that you can disappear cancer with your mind – but it sure helps to have the confidence in your inner resources to handle whatever comes, and that you can take charge of your mind, keeping it as a beneficial agent on the side of a happy, healthy future. It’s a change of focus from victim or cancer fighter to presence, peace and authority: “This is my mind, my body, my life, and I’m going thisaway.”
Two other mind factors that have been identified as helpful in survival are releasing suppressed emotions and increasing positive emotions. There are many ways to do both.
In my practice I help patients with cancer to heal their past traumas and find the inner commitment to live. They experience the agency that they have. In hypnosis, they can let go of all effort and be deeply nourished with healing suggestions. This results in them being able to relax, sleep, and feel happy and confident that they can handle what is. And through all the ups and downs they maintain a strong sense of their own agency and their through-line to a good future.