So, You're Over 45, 50, or 60...Now What?

Is it too late to make a change, if a change is even necessary? As part of that decision, do you prefer mac and cheese or steak? Or yoga at a local mom and pop studio versus classes at Kripalu? More on that later.

In 2018, Greg Dvorken was an EVP with a global PR firm based in NY. Life was great. The money was even better. But, there was a nagging industry problem that Greg was passionate about solving. So, in 2019 at the age of 50, he gave up his cushy job and lifestyle to pursue the solution and ended up forming a company called, Return Solutions, Inc. He may not be making the money he was, yet, but the quality of his life is much better, and he couldn't be happier.

And then there's Brian Gouin. Until recently, he's always worked for himself. He started his first company in 1988 when he was 21 and sold it in 1999. Then he had a one-person consulting business for 16 years and it was a tremendous success. But then his wife became ill, and they had children to take care of. So, he closed the business, became a stay-at-home dad, and pursued some things he had wanted to do for many years - write a book and day trade. The day trading was a mild success, but the book, in his words, was a complete failure. He lost a lot of money and thousands of hours of work writing the book. So, at 51 he pivoted again and, for the first time in his life, went to work for someone else.

I started my security management and expert witness consulting practice, Royal Security Group LLC when I was 60.

On the other end of the upper age spectrum is Lino Tagliapietra from Venice, Italy. Lino is considered the world's best glassblower. At 85, he's been following his passion for 60 years, with breathtaking results. These are my two favorites:

Talk about passion! We would all be so fortunate to have our "work" be this beautiful and inspiring.

And you've probably read the story about Colonel Harland David Sanders who started KFC when he was 65 and living off his savings and $105 a month in social security.

The Colonel did it because he was passionate about his secret ingredients recipe and his discovery that cooking chicken in a pressure cooker was faster than frying. Greg did it for passion and to solve a problem. Brian did it partly out of necessity, partly out of passion, but mostly so that he wouldn't regret not doing it for the rest of his life. I had similar motivations - regret management, the love of solving problems and cases, teaching, and also because, I'm not the retiring type. Yet. I love the mental and intellectual challenges my work provides and helping companies not only stay in business, but prosper. Not crazy about the collections aspect of the business, but that's a story for another time.

Interestingly, both Greg and Brian shared that what they did was a calculated risk, but people around them thought it was an outright risk. In both cases, they did their research and assessed their skills against what it would take to accomplish the objective(s) and filled-in the blank spots. Brian researched patent processes and costs, took trading classes, and looked at what other consultants were doing to be successful. Greg hired or partnered with people to compensate for any skill gaps. Ultimately, they both had to go with their gut and the confidence in themselves (earned through preparation) to make it work. And fortunately, Brian's wife, Anne wasn't a doubter.

Now, not everyone, of course, is in a position to just quit their job(s) and set off pursuing a passion, especially for the demographics of this article. And especially if it's not just you to worry about. When I started my first company, a medical engineering firm, back in the 80's I had a wife and young child to support. So, to prepare, I worked my fulltime job during the day and for 6 months worked on the business until it reached a point, financially, where I could do it fulltime.

For the majority of people, with preparation, forethought, and a willingness to cast self-doubt aside, (or shed the cape of Captain Imposter Syndrome) and endure some sacrifices, your possibilities really are endless. Especially if you have a passion for something. You'll need that during the inevitable downturns or setbacks.

COVID has revealed deficiencies in how we work. But it's also exposed us to the positive aspects of life that we haven't experienced in a very, very long time. (Cleaner air!!! Wearing tee shirts and shorts most of the time!!! A ten-foot commute to the office!!! Homeschooling our kids about quadratic equations...okay, maybe not that one in particular.)

I've also talked with people and read about people, who really don't want to go back to the BC (Before COVID) epoch. They LIKE working remotely. They LIKE having the time to also engage in hobbies or other activities that were shelved a long time ago due to the demands of their jobs. Jobs that in many instances they don't even enjoy. As the old saying goes, they've been living lives of quiet desperation. Maybe you have as well.

So, understandably, it's brought up the question, 'why am I doing what I'm doing?' - especially among the newly unemployed, or those who realize their job is not sustainable going forward; or see this as an opportunity to pivot to something new.

But many people are paralyzed to make a move, for any number of reasons:

• They think they're too old and can't compete against the younger generation.
• They don't have the skills.
• They have responsibilities.
• They're comfortable in their job.
• They like the financial security their current job/business provides.
• They fear failure.
• They fear ridicule.
• What if their partner doesn't support the change?
• They like having a safety net in everything they do.

There are things you can do to alleviate the concerns above. And far more of us are already capable, and prepared, to do just that. Life and opportunities aren't over just because you're over 40. Or 50. Or even 60. Not all journeys are as successful as we envision, but they're all instructive and provide an opportunity to apply those lessons to the next iteration. And change can even be fun.

As part of the filtering process to decide what you want to do - whether it's starting a business or changing careers - go off into the woods, or wherever your happy place is, and have a conversation with just yourself about the following questions, and more. Do this alone. You need the quiet for serious, undisturbed self-reflection. You don't need the possible pressure or fear of judgment or rejection from others witnessing this process to skew your thinking or suppress the range of inquiry.

• What do you like to do
• What do you do well
• What don't you do so well
• And really be honest with yourself on this one...what don't you like to do. No matter how great that business idea sounds or that new career looks, if you do a deep dive and find out that it entails too much of what you don't like to do, don't convince yourself that you'll get over it or adjust. You'll end up being quite unhappy. If you truly have a choice, don't do it. We all know people who are in jobs that may pay well or have great benefits, but they're miserable and dread going to work.
• Momentarily suspending pressing issues like paying the rent or mortgage or eating, is there anything that you're passionate about?

If you're doing something that brings you enjoyment, fulfillment, and you're passionate about, then mac and cheese, (or yoga at a local studio) will be perfectly fine.

But if you're doing something now, or in the future that you're not passionate about, or finding enjoyment in, but affords you that steak every night, (or classes at Kripalu), eventually that steak or classes aren't going to taste as good or be as satisfying. You already know that because very likely, you've experienced it.

So, let's talk about journeys and why your life experiences have prepared you to seriously contemplate change.

I'll start with my own journey.

Growing up, the walls of my bedroom were covered with posters of Marine Corp jets and Marine Officers. I didn't have the eyesight to be a front-seater, but I thought I could be a RIO (Radar Intercept Officer) - the rear seat pilot who manages the weapons systems.

But I also had a deep love of science and did well in all of my science classes. I was fascinated by the nascent space program and really, REALLY, wanted to work for NASA. So that would be my path.

But wait...it was also the time when Dr. Christiaan Bernard performed the first heart transplant, so maybe I could combine my interests in science and engineering and become a heart surgeon! So, when college rolled around, I signed up for the pre-med program. Two years into it I got a low draft number and, for a number of reasons, decided to enlist rather than be drafted or seek a college deferment. A major fork-in-the-road.

I did eventually finish my undergraduate degree and go on to get a master's as well. But, here's the list of jobs I actually ended-up doing, starting at age 14: short order cook in a combo diner/Chinese restaurant (yes, it was a weird arrangement); elevator operator in a department store; sales person in the cosmetics department, women's lingerie and women's shoes (an even stranger set of assignments); non-commissioned officer in the Air Force working as an avionics tech on bombing computers, inertial guidance and forward-looking radar systems on fighter jets; electronics bench tech working for a pacemaker company; technical writer for two large, international companies; field engineer working on cardiac ultrasound, cardiac telemetry, portable x-ray systems for hip surgery, and large cancer treatment systems; founder of a medical equipment engineering company servicing the same equipment for the same clients above and expanding the business to include the installation and servicing of banking computer systems and security systems; FBI Special Agent (oldest person in my Academy class at Quantico); Sr. VP and Chief Security Officer for a Global 50 company; CEO of an international non-profit; and now founder and principal advisor of an international security consulting and expert witness company. Quite the departure from those earlier dreams.

There are a couple of points to all of that. Many of us had childhood dreams and fantasies of how our lives would turn out. But except for the fortunate few, most of us end up leading circuitous work lives. And quite often, the jobs or circumstances chose us versus the other way around. While there are always exceptions, I'm pretty sure that my parent's generation is the last one that will have worked one job for life.

And the other point is, if you map out your life journey, you'll find that you've had a similar wandering path through life. Therefore you already know a thing or two about risk. And change. And the fear of risk and change. And adaptation and survival. And resilience.

If you evaluate each of your career transitions, you'll find answers to the questions of what you enjoy, what you're good at, what you don't like, etc.

Before I close, let's briefly touch on the elephant in the room - ageism. Yes, it's an unfortunate fact of life. I've been a victim of it, and I'm sure many of you in the older age range have as well.

So, as far as feeling paralyzed or disincentivized to pursue your passion because of your age, it could be any number of career selections, but for the sake of illustration, let's take a look at software coding. This is an area that many would love to get into but feel they can't because they're too old. But maybe it's a matter of perspective and approach.

Coding, in and of itself, could be viewed as a commodity skill where hiring someone young (and cheaper) might make sense to an employer. But coding is really a means to an end. What if you looked beyond "coding" and instead focused on finding and using the coding tools and skills you learn to solve problems? Now, THAT's value-added. Your coding skills are now a distant secondary concern compared to the value you're providing to an employer, or a client if you're self-employed, by solving a pain point. Find a niche that you're interested in (and checks off most or all of the self-assessment list above), and make it your own.

I learned a long time ago from a very wise consultant, Dennis Dalton, that we all buy based on three filters, regardless of what it is we buy: pain, gain, or problem-solving. If you can eliminate someone's pain; provide them with an opportunity to gain something (beauty, money, position, an edge, hard-to-find competitive information, etc.); or solve a problem they're having, you're far ahead of the competition.

And lastly, do you have a personal mantra that gives you the strength, internal fortitude, drive, and resilience to get through COVID and all the other challenges life will be throwing at you? If you don't, get one. Mine is the Outward Bound motto, "To Serve, To Strive And Not To Yield" that has been etched on my soul after two expeditions with them and learning what I am capable of. I've carried the Outward Bound keychain with me every single day since January 1985, and the motto is also on my license plate cover. It's helped me power through some very dark times. Your mantra could be that powerful.

Resources:

If the topic of career reinvention or rejuvenation is of interest, check out this TED Work/Life podcast with Adam Grant "Career Decline Isn't Inevitable". And on the business creation side of things, Greg recommends Steve Case's book, The Third Wave.

My recommendations are: Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life by James Hollis; Life Skills by Richard Leider; Creating You & CO: Learn To Think Like The CEO of Your Own Career by William Bridges; Start Something That Matters by Blake Mycoskie (founder of TOMS shoes); and a specific book about transitioning from a law enforcement career to the private sector as a security consultant, from a colleague of mine: From Police to Security Professional by Michael D'Angelo and another colleague's book on the subject: Becoming An Independent Security Consultant by Michael Silva.

Regarding Turning the Fear of Transformation into the Transformation of Fear, read Danaan Parry's one page The Parable of the Trapeze

Outward Bound's Transitions are Hard, Here's What We Know About Them

Ageless Startup by Rick Terrien was just published in April 2020.

#liveyourpassion #careerchange #career directionis #careertransition #over45 #over50 #over60