So, you think you can fail? What's your Failureship Style and how to recover from it!

So, you think you can fail?

What’s your “failureship” style and how to recover from it

NO, this is not me trying to convince you that you can learn from your failures. If you don’t know this by now, I suspect you belong to either one of those two categories of people: A. those who still debate about the definition of “failure” and are going all philosophical about it. It’s quite simple: failure happens when it did not work out the way it was supposed to! It went wrong. Ouch! That’s what makes it so difficult. The possibility that you may have something to do with this mistake. Another bad word. We all struggle with the idea that we could be wrong. It is a deep, very personal feeling to be wrong. Culturally, it is associated with ignorance or stupidity. Emotionally, we avoid this very unnecessary situation of facing our own shortcomings. Socially, our brain is trained to jump to conclusions based on the probability of being right and from there, only select the evidences that will support that fact. Even if it is obvious that everybody fails. The most notorious talented people fail: from Steve Jobs being fired from his own company, to Einstein not being able to read till age 7 and Jack Ma - founder of Alibaba website - who unsuccessfully applied to over 30 jobs. It is their capacity to go about it and to recover from it that have made them stronger. I would argue that, like for anything else, you can become better at failing. As I went through my own series of failures, I imagined a “Failureship Style” Model. I figured, when you add the suffix “ship” to a word it expands its meaning which can denote a skill...that can be learned!

"Failureship" is defined around two axes: the ability to act as the failure occurs [ACTION] and the amount of analysis put to understand the failure [ANALYSIS]. 4 styles emerged. Of course, these are neither thorough nor scientific, merely a collection of patterns of behaviors. Each person has a dominant style in which they feel the most comfortable, the other will be a backup style or secondary. Think of yourself when you fail. Which behaviors come back over again? Can you identify your own failureship style and the way to recover from it?  

The Challenger. He always has a different view of the world and loves to debate. He openly interrogates the choices others are considering and do not shy away from suggesting alternatives. For the Challenger, failing is a likely event that doesn’t come as a surprise and is part of the process. He doesn’t sweat on it, just goes out and fixes his mistakes as he goes rather than sitting idle and preparing contingencies. He is the most effective when working on high risks projects where success is not necessarily expected. When failing, the Challenger doesn’t express emotions nor regrets which can be perceived as coldblooded and lacking empathy. Used in excess, his strengths can push him to leap before he looks, providing the feeling of repeated mistakes and for him to be inconsequential. 

The Entrepreneur. She transforms ideas into concrete endeavors that benefit herself and others. She’s a strong coalition builder and her success largely depends on her network. When she fails, it’s personal! She will strike a balance between putting corrective measures in place and factual analysis to avoid another fall out. She doesn't mind to take two steps back and one forward, enjoys cautious repetition and incremental progress. The Entrepreneur is good at leading large, mainstream projects. As she’s constantly preparing escaping clauses, the Entrepreneur focuses on maintaining her reputation and feels the need to always be in control. Used in excess, this style can be interpreted as dis-genuine, micro-managing and manipulative.

The Procrastinator. He leaves other people express their views and provides them with the space to develop their ideas. When failing the Procrastinator freezes. It will take time for him to acknowledge that something went wrong and he will use distracting strategies to avoid having to decide on any type of action or analysis. The Procrastinator can save the most innovative projects. Through his unwillingness to declare fiasco, he helps the team getting their act together, secures time to allow new strategies and find creative alternatives to the inevitable. He keeps a positive demeanor, coming across as an optimist and constructively sidetracks non-believers. Used in excess, he can pass for na?ve, passive-aggressive or resisting change leading others to question his commitment.

The Academic. She puts together the most sophisticated projects supported by an evidence-based methodology and accompanied by a results framework linked to strong, proven and accepted research. It is very uncommon for the Academic to recognize failure as she views it as irrational and the concept itself challenges her analytical abilities. Unlike the procrastinator, she will spend her energy dissecting every phase, step, method and science that can explain where, why and how the failure occurred. This approach is very helpful in very complex projects where the correlation between action and outcomes is uncertain. Where excellent for documentation purposes, used in excess this style can favor the status quo and paralyze the possibility to correct course. The Academic can come across as seeing herself as special and above the requirements of others, conceptual and deflecting responsibilities.

 DO you ever watch figure skating? These athletes have one of the most masterful way of falling! They slide on the ice with grace, get back up in a second, smile to the public and then     continue their performance. No time to dwell. Knowing that they will fall – fail – is very much part of the technical, physical and emotional practice that builds their confidence. That’s how they push themselves and grow. The same is true at work and in life and we should learn how to deal with failure the same way we attempt to improve our communication, writing or interpersonal skills. After all, it is inevitable and above all, we all have it in common. Still, failureship is not a common concept used in staff development, and understandably! Which organization would openly admit this?  However, people can. One of my most memorable early professional experience was to sit with a prominent leader as he just got demoted from a top job and listen to him map out his path to failure (definitely  "Academic" style). As later he bounced back I understood what "resilience grows with age" meant. Since then I've had a tendency to stick around when people go through professional misfortunes and just listen. I know how it feels. My dominant style is Challenger and Academic is my back up. I am a wanna be Entrepreneur with Procrastinator tendencies. By now, you should know yours, and if not, ask a friend.  

Oh! You still wonder about the second category of people who don’t know that you can learn from failure? B. you’ve been hiding in a cave for the past five years. You have bigger fishes to fry. Buckle up, this year’s going to be a roller coaster! I suggest you make a pass on this post.

Next: The Blind Sides of Leadership. A Staff Survival Kit.

Coming soon: Sex, Color and Career Roll. The diversity cards anyone can use to boost their careers.